


You're a Warrior, Not a Lover

by orphan_account



Series: I Will Make You Hurt [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M, Mpreg, also lots of platonic armin/levi am i RIGHT, armin is an omega, been eyeing those other warnings up there, duh - Freeform, eren is pissed, gonna be angsty up in here just you wait, like everything is the same up to a certain point, lmao im gonna regret this one, might indulge, my calling, no one judge me for this one im sure ill post worse shit later, reiner is an alpha, still dont know how this is gonna end, weak beginning hopefully strong finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-16 02:51:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1329133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>fill im working on for round five of the kink meme holla prompt:</p>
<p>"Reiner's an alpha, Armin's an omega.</p>
<p>However, I'm not looking for the thing I see so often in omegaverse fic, where one of them goes into heat and there's dubcon. I'm more interested in both of them going into a rut/heat and becoming a mated pair. Specifically, I'm interested in how their relationship is impacted after Armin gets pregnant, and then later after Reiner is revealed as a Titan shifter.</p>
<p>Maybe Armin has to manipulate a dissociating Reiner and feels guilty for it. Maybe soldier!Reiner tries to get Armin to come along with him while warrior!Reiner is trying to figure out how to work kidnapping him into the plan. Anything you can come up with."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/8414.html?thread=6805982 link to fill  
> the thread will be updated first and is already a little ways ahead so you can either wait for a big chapter or read the smaller chunks i post as i write them

Armin Arlert had always been considered a textbook example of an omega. Right from childhood, before the hormones had set in and confirmed the suspicions of everyone that ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on the little blond, it only took one look at those big blue eyes to know that he most definitely took after his omegan mother. He lived as a tiny, fragile thing, his skin paper-fine and so perfectly easy to bruise. His hands were long and delicate, lips forever bowed into a thoughtful little pout, lashes long enough to be the envy of any pursuer of true beauty. He always balanced between being protected viciously, or berated without mercy. He was quick to look down, quick to fall silent in the presence of an authoritative figure, and quick to fall behind in any subject that demanded physical endurance or agility.  
  
They almost refused him a spot in the training camps, seeing him as nothing more than a certain dropout or a cause for scraps between the troops. Only Eren's stubbornness kept him from being turned away, the little alpha's teeth set in a feral growl as the flabberghasted admissions director quickly set to jotting down Armin's name in the registry, despite Armin murmuring his embarrassment keeping his eyes focused on his shoes.  
  
The camps themselves were an entirely different ordeal. Armin could easily count the number of other omegas on two hands and easily have a few fingers to spare (and some of the fellow cadets had no issue with telling him what he could do with those fingers), though Mikasa and Eren made sure to stand between him and his opposers whenever they could manage, a wall of alpha pheromones to shelter their less imposing friend. There were, of course, those who would join in on the great campaign to protect Armin Arlert- Jean came to mind immediately, despite the hostility that festered between him and Eren. Then there was Marco, and sometimes Ymir, and Sasha, Connie- Bertholdt and Annie were kind to him (the former more noticeably then the latter), and big brotherly Reiner, who would even try and lessen the load of training at the risk of losing points on his own score. The instinct to protect this perfect little omega was thankfully more popular than the desire to see those pretty cornflower blue eyes well up with tears, though there were a few of his guardians that would sometimes sneak a hand beneath their sheets with that exact image burning into their thoughts, pleasuring themselves with shame washed over their expressions between gushes of bliss.  
  
Reiner, in particular, had this problem.  
  
He was a classic alpha- no doubt about it. Where Armin had faced a life of an omega from a very young age, Reiner had been groomed in an entirely different way, his size and stature marking him at the opposite end of the spectrum. He had grown up with a straight back and a strong diet, trained to rely more on brawn than brain. He was meant to be aggressive and strong- and he could be, when he was in the moment. He displayed all the other proper makings of an alpha, but where most others associated attachment with a violent need to covet and hoard, he associated it with an urge to love and dote upon. He was kind to others, a fast defender of friends, and had a big heart instead of a big ego. Where everyone else was ready to fight to the bloody death, he was more interested in seeking means of escape, only actually managing to fill his role as a warrior when Bertholdt pressed it upon him. How they'd ever ended up outside Wall Maria with both of them reluctant to take the initiative, he'd never know. It was an easy thing to forget, when he was nice and cozy in his bunk, sleeping soundly and feeling content as he was surrounded by the peaceful snores of his fellow comrades. His friends.  
  
Only...  
  
Only, Armin was now writhing on top of his sheets, flopping this way and that in absurd denial as he tried to tell himself that no, this wasn't happening, it was too EARLY. But there was no denying the sweet, feverish heat that slid over his skin, making it drag over the blankets with a maddening cling, his body starting to become slick with sweat and something else, something he definitely didn't want to show up in a room full of dozing alphas.   
  
Normally, he'd be tucked safely away in a dark room, suffocating in the stench of his own heat and suffering through it until he was deemed far enough out that he could safely go back to training. Sometimes his cycle would overlap with that of another omega's, and they would huddle together and try to sooth each other like restless cats, sharing empathy while they counted down the days.  
  
But this was much too early. Much too sudden. How long had it been since his last- two weeks? This was too soon. Armin didn't know what was doing it- if it was the stress, or the amount of alphas concentrated into one place, their own stress making the hormones twice as potent- he didn't know. He didn't know, and for once he didn't care that he didn't know, because he could smell it on himself, and that meant others would be smelling it too. He made quick work of kicking his sheets off, listening to the dead-to-the-world snores of Eren on the mattress beside him, and shimmied down the ladder so he could scurry out and _away_.  
  
Reiner almost scared the living hell out of him.  
  
"Armin?"  
  
The blond froze, his heart in his throat and his hand twitching slightly, wishing to soothe the ache he could feel starting to settle in his thighs and gut and oh god how had he not seen this coming?  
  
"Reiner," he whispered, a little relieved and a little horrified that this was the trainee that had caught him. Big, loveable, trustworthy Reiner. "Go back to sleep, please."  
  
"What's wrong?" Also, apparently, too caring Reiner. "Are you sick?" Those pencil-thin brows furrowed even more than usual, obviously worried for the smaller male. He could see where Armin's cheeks shone with sweat in the moonlight, eyes wide and oddly dark from where Armin was staring at him by the door.  
  
The blond cast a worried glance back to the bunks, then Reiner, and then made a frustrated noise at the back of his throat. "Reiner, I really can't do this right now." His thighs pushed together, stomach bent slightly as another cramp of arousal went through him. Slick dripped a dark line down his pant leg.  
  
"Oh-" There it was. There was the realization. Armin could see Reiner's nose twitch slightly as the scent hit him, and he knew, he just knew it would linger and the others would smell it, and he was so scared and embarrassed he needed someone to help him he was so damn helpless-  
  
No! No, he wasn't, he just needed to get out of there.  
  
"Reiner," Armin whined, pathetic, feeling the hot line of his juices start to cool and stick to his inner thigh. "Reiner, please. Go back to sleep. Don't tell anyone."  
  
"Let me help you," the other whispered, advancing, and that was so not a good idea but Armin couldn't help but think it was also a _great_ idea, yes, get closer, comfort him, he needed it. "I know a place in the woods- no one would find you. I can mask your scent until morning, then send someone after you."  
  
It was hard, offering to send Armin away when he smelled so delightful, but he'd never been the type of alpha to covet and consume what wasn't his. He could be trusted, at least for this long.  
  
Armin was running out of options, and out of time. "Okay," he relented, squirming a little on the spot as more slick wet his crotch, moving in hot pulses as Reiner came ever closer. "Okay, okay- take me. I mean, take me there, I- I need it."  
  
Needed it bad, needed it hot and thick inside him, needed it hard and rough and fast and needed to be filled so that itch inside him would just go away. Just a little longer. He needed to hold out for just a little longer.  
  
Reiner swallowed roughly, then reached for his cloak on one of the many pegs nailed into the wall. It was a clear night, so he wasn't worried about rain- he just wanted to keep Armin's scent disguised. "Follow me."

\--

The walk to Reiner's hiding place was spent in a hard silence, the both of them wary of one another and wary of the instincts that tugged at their fingers, told one of them to submit while the other was told to claim, dominate, devour. Armin walked on wobbly legs, having to stop every now and then to groan with a sickish wave of arousal, one hand pressed between his legs as his face burned with shame. Reiner would never tease him for it, of course, but the way his body now seemed to be about taking care of itself first and common decency later was embarrassing.  
  
Somehow, Reiner found the strength to keep his eyes away, leading Armin to refuge and kindly stopping when it was needed.  
  
He was just trying to help. He didn't want to make Armin more uncomfortable than he already was.  
  
There was a risky moment when Armin stumbled, and out of reflex, Reiner reached out to steady the smaller male by the shoulder. They both had an intake of breath, waiting for the foretold moment of absolute helplessness toward their own hormones, and Armin trembled with the fear that he wouldn't want to stop when in the first place he didn't want it at all. Reiner loomed over him, also trembling, shaking because he didn't want to be a monster- not more than he already was. He couldn't do that. He wasn't that kind of alpha.  
  
So he didn't. He steadied Armin, kept him upright, but his hands didn't wander. The quirk in his alpha system proved true once more, valuing protection over the desire to mark and breed, and Reiner allowed himself a sigh of relief.  
  
Armin just stared at him, still half-wishing Reiner would touch him while also half-wishing he wouldn't, and then kept walking.  
  
"Here," Reiner said after a while, clearing a branch that blocked their path. Armin ducked under his arm, skittering like a little mouse around a cat, though he knew he had nothing to fear from his larger friend. Reiner wasn't going to hurt him. He could most definitely trust Reiner.   
  
"It's a little run down, but it'll do the job. I can go around and see if there's a way to keep the others from noticing your scent- or keep them from following it, at least."  
  
Saying the cabin was 'run down' was a bit of an understatement- the place seemed to be rotting apart at the seams, splintering off into nothing where there was once a strong set of walls and unbroken windows. The place had a little bit of a greenish tint to it in daylight, like it was honestly sick where the wood had been chewed at by rain and age, falling from its bones in rotten hunks but still leaving enough intact that Armin supposed it might just barely pass as a shelter. Reiner ushered him inside, looking pleased with himself, and Armin saw that there were lanterns and blankets and little packets of those dried fruits and nuts the instructors sometimes gave them on overnight training sessions.  
  
"... It's like you're ready to pack up and run away," he murmured, holding the cloak a little tighter around himself as Reiner set to work on dressing an old mattress left on the floor. He could smell himself, the thick scent of arousal and heat permeating the air as more slick dripped over his thighs, but Reiner didn't seem to notice. If he had, he was doing his damned hardest to act like he hadn't.  
  
"Always be prepared, right?" was his answer, as he tossed an old blanket over the mattress, and then a worn, tattered one. "Bertholdt and I- sometimes we just like to get away. We need it. So we sneak down here some nights and act like it's old times, as best as we can. But don't worry- he won't know you're here."  
  
The larger of the two stood back from the bed, satisfied with his work, and gave Armin what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He didn't like how Armin was getting too close to the truth with that running away comment, but he didn't think the other male would pursue the thought- not with the heat clenching at his insides and making him soak through with need. Indeed, Armin looked much too shaken to be thinking of anything other than a warm bed and the exploring touch of his own fingers- he was just waiting for Reiner to clear out of the place.  
  
They parted ways not too long after, the both of them craving to satisfy each other by instinct, but refusing to do so out of common sense and friendship. Reiner covered Armin's trail as best as he could, putting on his best alpha glare in response to any questions people had about the odd smell that morning. Eren almost had an absolute fit when he realized Armin was missing, but Jean of all people managed to wave him down, telling him it was just 'that time of the month' and of course Armin wouldn't be hanging around for that.  
  
Reiner told an instructor where Armin was hiding sometime that afternoon. Bertholdt overheard the conversation, and though he looked devastated when the supervisor said something about having that place monitored from now on to avoid any more missing troops, he couldn't bring himself to say anything against Reiner about it.  
  
Not yet.  
  
Far away, out of sight but not out of mind, Armin Arlert was in the throes of his heat, aching and whimpering with it as he did his best to suffer through with only his own fingers to soothe him. Though he did his best not to, he couldn't help but think about a bigger hand squeezing tight on his shoulder, its twin sliding between his legs as a rough voice whispered calming words in his ear.  
  
He tasted Reiner's name on his tongue, and for once, felt no shame.

\--

Days passed, and when the heat finally decided to stop its rampage on Armin's body, he slipped back into routine without a hitch. A few people asked questions, having made the connection that Armin had ended up with two heats in one month, but he waved them off while Eren and Mikasa served as silent body guards. They were both watching him closely, now, trying to see if his body was going to make any more sudden changes, if they could predict when the next heat was coming through scent-  
  
Nothing. They found nothing. It just seemed to be a normal, healthy heat- just early. He hoped that another one wasn't on the horizon.  
  
Unsurprisingly enough to him, though no doubt a cause for suspicion to everyone else, Reiner became a third shadow in Armin's usual entourage. He would sidle up whenever there was a spare moment, asking Armin how he was doing, if he needed any help- all sweet, thoughtful gestures. Armin first thought to compare him to an affectionate dog, but he found it a little insulting, since Reiner's sudden attention had a meaning behind it instead of goofy, blind devotion. Reiner was honestly interested in aiding him through the next few weeks, always there to lend a hand for heavy books or equipment, now the third in line to rise to the little omega's defense whenever it was needed.  
  
Eren and Mikasa didn't like it.  
  
"What happened between you two?" Mikasa asked him, catching Armin in an off moment when Reiner was actually doing what he was supposed to be doing instead of seeing if he could ease the load off of Armin. "You disappear for a few days, and suddenly Reiner has been at your heels. Eren's starting to get angry with him."  
  
Sure enough, the more aggressive alpha was currently at arms with Reiner, snarling up at the very confused blond's face as they rolled about in what was supposed to be a friendly spar. Every time Reiner would have him pinned lightly, Eren would surge up from underneath him, clearly trying to dominate the situation and show exactly who was the top dog around here. He looked absolutely enraged, instead of determined. Reiner was considering calling it off.  
  
Armin sighed, following Mikasa through another slowed-down version of some fighting move he was expected to one day use. Really, he thought he'd probably end up behind a desk somewhere, or crushed beneath a titan's foot.  
  
As if sensing this thought, Mikasa moved a little faster, guiding Armin like a mother cat teaching her kitten how to hunt.  
  
"He helped me out of the dorm, when I went into heat," the blond grit, trying to match Mikasa's force. He knew she could easily overpower him, but he still tried as though he actually had a chance. "He helped me hide, helped throw everyone off my scent- he was nice. He just wanted to keep me comfortable."  
  
Mikasa hummed over this, nodding, and spun Armin around to pin his arm behind his back, knocking him over into the dirt. "No other intentions?"  
  
Armin struggled beneath her, huffing and wiggling uselessly around to try and get out of her hold. "No! I told you, he was just being friendly. That's all he wants to do."  
  
"Eren wants to fight him."  
  
"Eren wants to fight everyone. I'm not his. I'm no one's."  
  
"Someone might want to change that."  
  
"I'm not ready."  
  
Armin stopped struggling, and went limp beneath Mikasa, effectively allowing her to pin him down with a knee at his back. He tried not to breathe too heavily, aware of the dirt waiting to fill his nostrils, and heard her soft yet serious tone speak up above him.  
  
"Someone might not care."  
  
\--  
  
That night, Reiner faced his own interrogation. Annie and Bertholdt faced him outside of the mess hall that night, barring his path toward the boy's dorms with defiant stances. Bertholdt looked like he didn't really want to be there, but Annie's eyes were chips of ice as she stared him down.   
  
"No."  
  
Reiner barked out a laugh, ready to brush past them and shake this conversation off altogether. He didn't need to have 'the talk', or whatever. He wasn't doing anything wrong.  
  
"I mean it," Annie continued, watching him intently while Bertholdt shifted beside her, muttering his agreement. "Dragging your sorry ass through friendship hoops is bad enough. If you mate with him, you're useless."  
  
"I'm not going to mate with him!" Reiner actually looked taken aback, but the three of them all knew that if she asked if he'd thought about it, he'd have to lie. "Look, I feel bad for him. He was really scared when he went into heat early. I just want to put him at ease a little bit."  
  
"What if you have to kill him later?" Annie demanded, arms crossed over her chest. "Could you do it?"  
  
The blond stiffened, glancing off to the side. "It won't come to it. We don't have to kill anyone directly."  
  
"We might have to. I can't have you wussing out of it when that time comes."  
  
"It won't! I won't! Why don't you just lay off?"  
  
"We're worried about you," Bertholdt finally cut in, looking uncomfortable. "You can't get attached to one of them, alright? It's sleeping with the enemy- even if you haven't done that yet," he clarified, catching Reiner's expression. "We're warriors, Reiner. You can't have a weakness."  
  
"You're my weakness," Reiner promised, like that made anything better. Annie gagged. "I'm not trying to mate him, okay? Eren would chew me up and spit me out if I did. I just think he's cute."  
  
Annie's face twisted, like she couldn't believe what he'd just said, and she shook her head in defeat. "Whatever. Just never say that again, and I won't have to kill you."  
  
"Duly noted."  
  
\--  
  
Even after being raked over the coals by their friends (Eren was practically smoking with rage when Armin told him to back off of Reiner's case, but he relented eventually) the gestures continued. Reiner would pick Armin up and carry him after a long run; Armin would stay up and help Reiner through the more rigorous studies. Reiner helped Armin through his daily chores; Armin told him what he thought the ocean looked like. Reiner kept other alphas from badgering Armin when Mikasa and Eren weren't around; Armin saved him a spot next to him in the mess hall. It was a constant push-pull between them, though of a comforting sort. It became a usual thing for them to be found with their heads together in the library, or for Reiner to slow down a little to keep at Armin's pace, gently prodding him along when it looked like the blond was slowing down. The two became fierce competitors in combat, each one covering the other's weaknesses and complementing their strengths, turning into an unstoppable tag-team during the monthly free-for-alls held to test their skills in a fight-or-'die' situation.  
  
After a hard-earned win during the stifling month of June, Reiner took Armin's small, delicate hand in his own powerful paw, and held the clasped hands high in victory. They forgot to let go, after the congratulations had been doled out.  
  
When Armin's heat came again in the waning moon of their training, just a bare week from graduation, he wasn't alone.  
  
Reiner broke many promises that night. He broke his promise to Shadis to keep away from the abandoned buildings, stealing away under the cover of darkness to lead Armin away from the darker room he was meant to be kept in during his heat. He broke his promise to Bertholdt, becoming weak at the knees as their hands fumbled for each other, clumsy yet wanting as the heavy scent of arousal wafted between them, curling in his nose and tugging him forward, making him circle his massive hands around Armin's small waist as they pulled each other closer. They were panting sloppily in the musky, aged cabin Reiner had tracked down during a survival run. They reached for each other like they'd never see each other again, two different builds somehow managing to find a way to blend into one, spurred on by the pleasurable relief when Armin tugged Reiner's shirt over his head, when Reiner pulled Armin's pants down and swallowed the omega's length with a hot, wanting mouth.  
  
His fingers found Armin's slick hole, gentle despite every text book that told him this mating would be rough, that he'd make Armin bleed and that Armin would drive him feral. He felt whole and free of any mindless rut, kissing at the smaller blond's thighs as Armin writhed beneath him, pushing against his fingers as they stretched him open, torturously slow and yet so wonderfully sweet. Reiner scissored the digits against Armin's prostate, rubbing at the little bundle of nerves and listening to Armin mewl for him, shifting like he'd never get enough while still begging for more. Reiner sucked at the slick coating the smaller boy's thighs, getting up to four fingers inside before he decided that was enough, it was time, they were both so, so ready for this.  
  
He broke his promise to Annie that night, mating Armin slowly in their own little piece of the world, a secret for them to share as they made love and formed their bond. He didn't take Armin on his front- not their first time- but instead had him gently lain on his back, pushing into him with soft, smooth thrusts as they both moaned pleasure and a new kind of love. Armin babbled on about how big Reiner was, how he could feel it pressing everywhere inside him, filling him up so well that he didn't know if he'd ever not feel it, even when their coupling was finished and Reiner had long left his body. Reiner growled sweet nothings into Armin's ear, promising him more, promising him _everything_ , that they'd see the ocean and he'd make Armin happy and that he felt so, so good, drawing him into the tight, slick heat- he'd never hurt him, not ever.  
  
Reiner was... very, very bad at keeping promises.  
  
The knot was thick, as expected, and Armin sobbed as he took it- but Reiner made sure he was sobbing with _pleasure_ , rubbing over his sweet spot and kissing at his jaw, stroking the smaller male to a hot, blissful finished before he finally allowed himself release. He came in thick, hot spurts- filling his lover fit to bursting, a little fascinated by the slight swell of Armin's belly as his seed gushed inside. He wondered for a moment what Armin would look like pregnant, warm and round and gorgeous with his child, but he remembered that there was no possibility of him seeing it. Armin had told him beforehand that omegas were given a pill to take- just in case- which left them open to all the mindblowing sex that they could possibly want, but no product of their love.  
  
Which, he supposed, was enough for him. Reiner gathered Armin up in his arms, keeping him safe and hidden from the world, and made more promises he'd never keep, but they were still nice to hear.

\--

For what seemed to be the first time in his life, or at least the first time in such a long time that Reiner couldn't remember the first, he was seeing Bertholdt livid. His beta friend's eyes blazed, looming over Reiner in an uncharacteristic fit of rage, truly filling the part of his wall-breaking alter-ego even with that decidedly unthreatening, dopey face of his. Bertholdt actually had Reiner by the front of his shirt, teeth grit in frustration as words kicked between them, wanting to lash out but worried about causing a scene. Reiner had snuck back into the dorms earlier that morning, just managing to make it back to his bed before the first early risers started to stir in their bunks, the picture of stealth as he made morning small talk.  
  
People were already murmuring suspicion.   
  
"You thought they wouldn't smell him on you?" Bertholdt hissed, shaking Reiner to the best of his abilities. The broad blond indulged him, swaying with the movement of Bertholdt's fist and feeling his stomach sink slightly at the harsh tone. "Everybody's talking about it! Reiner, I swear- you _promised_."  
  
"It's not what you think," Reiner tried, but Bertholdt cut him off again.  
  
"It is! It is what I think! I can smell him, everyone can- they can smell what you did. It's all over you. Eren's going to kill you, if Annie doesn't get ahold of you first."  
  
"Eren wouldn't," Reiner lamely insisted, though it did nothing about Annie. "Armin would hate him forever. We bonded."  
  
"You _promised!_ "  
  
"I know! I know I did, I just- he wants to be free, Bertholdt. He's like us. Maybe he'll even want to come with us."  
  
Bertholdt made a pained noise, shaking Reiner even harder than he had before, his fury switching to what might have been genuine concern. Reiner could see beads of sweat start to form on his forehead. "Reiner, you're my best friend, but you're also certifiably insane. Did you miss the part where he's friends with Eren Jaeger? What about Mikasa? You really want to get on her bad side? He's not coming with us."  
  
"You don't know that! You don't know him." Reiner huffed out a sigh, starting to feel a twitch of irritation at the thought that someone might actually be suggesting that he was in a blind spot when it came to his mate. "He wants to see the ocean. I can take him there. If I just tell him why we're doing this, why we want to escape, maybe he'll understand. He'll want to help."  
  
" _No_ ," Bertholdt stressed, and Reiner wondered if he was just imagining things when he thought his childhood friend was on the verge of tears. "He won't, Reiner. He thinks we're monsters- they all do. He wants to kill us, and he'll probably think up the plan that does it-"  
  
"-But if he's on our side-"  
  
"He is _not_ on our _side_ , Reiner! Are you listening to one word I'm telling you? He's on the _other side_. He's against us. He's the enemy!"  
  
Before Reiner could stop himself, a snarl ripped up from his throat, like a doberman about to tear out the throat of a dog half its size. He startled the both of them, especially himself, but the break in the moment was what he needed. He needed to make Bertholdt see sense, dammit.  
  
"He's on _my_ side," Reiner said, speaking low as he glared up at his best friend, his partner. "He's my _mate_ , not the goddamn enemy. Don't talk about him that way."  
  
The two broke apart in mutual disgust- Bertholdt because of Reiner's betrayal toward their mission; Reiner because of Bertholdt's betrayal toward Armin. He'd thought the two were good friends, but apparently it was all a sham. Reiner would prove him wrong. He'd sit Armin down, explain the situation to him, and without a doubt, have the little blond on their team before the week was out.  
  
\--  
  
Graduation night went by in a blur. Reiner was meant to stand proud and tall next to the other top nine, Bertholdt at his side, with Annie bringing up fourth place despite all of her skimming lessons and training sessions. It was supposed to be a great moment for all of them, proving that they were skilled enough to surpass their peers and hopefully take them in battle when the time came, but Reiner wasn't in his warrior mindstate. He wasn't even in his soldier mindstate, even though he was very proud of his fellow graduates.  
  
He could feel Armin's eyes on his back, and he knew that the other male was smiling, glancing between him, Eren, and Mikasa. People he trusted. People he loved.  
  
Reiner just couldn't bring himself to tell Armin what they were planning after graduation. He knew that Armin was going to sign up for the Survey Corps- as much as Reiner hated it, Armin was set on following Eren to the ends of the Earth, and he knew the little blond couldn't resist a chance to see the outside world. Bertholdt and Annie were tugging him in the opposite direction, whispering about the plan throughout their three years of training, the chance to get inside Wall Sina and end everything in one fell swoop.  
  
Reiner had still been trying to convince them that they were better off exploring outside the walls first, to increase the chance of meeting the director of their mission, before Shadis called them all to attention so they could begin the ceremony.  
  
After, Armin greeted him with a 'congratulations' and a kiss. Their sex that night was steamy and passionate, hidden away in a storage shed so they could touch without worry, each of them wishing to get their fill of the other before they were deployed. Reiner couldn't take his eyes off of Armin's exposed throat as his head tossed in ecstasy, almost overcome with the urge to sink his teeth into the flesh and make his mark- being mated had made him more eager to claim and make sure _everyone_ knew, especially Bertholdt, so there would be no doubt of who belonged with who and who were _together_. Never to break apart.  
  
Armin wasn't in heat that week, so there were no pheromones to stimulate his knot. When he came, it was smooth and as deep as he could manage, marking Armin on the inside as the smaller male writhed and panted and made hoarse sounds of pleasure.  
  
Tomorrow. He'd tell him tomorrow.  
  
\--  
  
He didn't tell him.  
  
The attack on Trost was actually sprung on him without warning. Bertholdt insisted that they were /going/ to tell him, but they just couldn't risk having Reiner try to talk them out of it. He would just have to learn to react under pressure.  
  
When Bertholdt transformed, he and Annie were well out of sight. Reiner watched the devastation with balled up fists, nails cutting into the calloused flesh of his palms as terror reigned over the fresh recruits, all of them sent into action while they were still wet behind the ears from training. It wasn't fair to them, it just wasn't, and from his viewpoint he could see each individual's expression of fear and disbelief, /denial/, because this wasn't supposed to happen so soon. Some of them were never meant to see a real titan in their lifetimes. They screamed like dying lambs, running around without order even as their superiors tried to bark orders at them, get them organized even though some of them were already dying, knocked off the wall or simply dropping of shock from the soundwave as the Colossal Titan's foot slammed through the gate.  
  
He was supposed to be preparing. He was the next phase of their plan, after all.  
  
Reiner wasn't surprised to see Eren launching himself at Bertholdt's titan form, but to be honest, he wasn't all too interested in watching the fight. Bertholdt would be fine, Eren wouldn't get a scratch on him- it was _Armin_  he was worried about.  
  
When the chaos broke into semi-organized squads, he was still looking for his mate, hoping to see the omega at least once and warn him to get out of there, out of harm's way, before Reiner would shift and bring yet another chunk of humanity to its end. He knew that Bertholdt would be furious at him for not doing it right away, and Annie would probably scoff and call him weak, but he couldn't do it if he knew Armin would die. He didn't want last night to be the last time he'd ever properly hold the blond, kiss his lips, see those blue eyes shine with adoration and love and _hope_ for a future they were warned every day they might never see.  
  
Reiner wanted to save him so, so badly.  
  
When they were told Eren was dead, he immediately went running for Armin. Fuck the plan, fuck Bertholdt, fuck Annie- fuck everything, fuck life for doing this to Armin, he didn't deserve this, he deserved so much more than this.  
  
Armin launched himself at Reiner almost as soon as the larger male came into view, desperate for that thing they called 'gentling'- when an alpha would soothe their omega, make them forget, make everything okay.  
  
Reiner just didn't know what to do with him when all of that didn't come true. He held Armin close to his chest, cradling him and trying to shield him from the world, aware of the way everyone else was staring and refusing to care. Armin made heartbroken sounds into his jacket, and Reiner grit his teeth against him, forgetting for a moment that this was partly this fault because whether he liked it or not he was a traitor to humanity, he was involved, he was the warrior that had slain thousands.  
  
Right now, he was just the lover of one sad, horribly fragile blond boy.  
  
Much too soon, they were back in the throes of battle, and Reiner was part of the driving force that would ultimately slaughter more titans than new recruits were expected to handle in the first 5 years of real missions. He was now a traitor to both sides, but he didn't mind as long as it meant there were less of these monsters around to threaten his mate. The Rogue Titan surprised him- he hadn't been aware that another shifter lurked among them- but his chest puffed with an undeserved pride when Armin devised a plan that would make use of the rampaging titan. Armin, who held his hand and squeezed it before explaining the details, and offered hope of survival. Armin, who was so little and genetically designed to be protected and coddled, yet stood taller than any of them when it came to strategy and knowledge of sacrifice. Reiner admired him in more ways than he could count, and knowing that he could press his lips to Armin's soft hair and soothe his doubts about his plans made him feel...  
  
Human.  
  
\--  
  
The storm of Bertholdt and Annie's awaited rage at Reiner failing to do his job had seemingly dissipated at the news that Eren Jaeger, the suicidal wonder, was confirmed to be a titan shifter. Reiner was uneasy at the news, uneasy at the way Armin clutched at the unconscious boy's hand, because he knew that now it would be even more difficult to get Armin away from this doomed civilization. Eren would fight tooth and nail to defend the walls, no doubt, and sometimes Reiner didn't know who Armin was more likely to side with- his mate, or his childhood friend.  
  
He remembered being that close with Bertholdt, and felt a small pang in the base of his chest.  
  
Bertholdt had at least done him the favour of holding him back when they'd heard the boom of a human shifting, the sound brought on by a hot flash of condensed air as limbs formed from nothing, a sound that never meant anything good. He'd been uneasy enough when he'd been told that Armin would be pulled away from him, but now he was absolutely rabid with the need to swoop in and get Armin away from that danger. Annie had threatened to kick him in the jaw if he didn't calm down, but Bertholdt was the one that actually tried to put him at ease, and for a moment Reiner could remember why they'd been friends for so long.  
  
But he wasn't what Reiner really needed anymore.  
  
When Armin came back to him, telling him that Eren was going to plug the hole in the wall and stop the titans from pouring in, Reiner had genuinely been happy. He felt the thrill of hope rising in his chest like a phoenix, and he'd kissed Armin as the mood gripped him, kissed him like they could drown in each other and still be happy in the dark.  
  
They only broke apart when someone coughed pointedly, and Armin blushed and stuttered for a moment before slipping back into a serious attitude, though he threw one last smile at Reiner before he left.  
  
Reiner almost didn't notice Bertholdt's look of hopelessness.  
  
He'd almost suffered a damn heart attack when Armin actually jumped onto Eren's back during a rampage, slicing through with his blade to reach the human inside the titan's shell, and once again, Bertholdt had to hold him back. He itched to bring Armin back to safety, but it really seemed that the blond had a handle on the situation, and he doubted Bertholdt would let him go for anything less than death.  
  
He wondered if Bertholdt wanted Armin dead. He wished he didn't have to doubt his friend like that, but Bertholdt had a clear standing on what his mate was to their mission. When Eren returned to his own mission, however, Reiner couldn't help but cheer with his fellow soldiers, grinning brightly in the dusk of that horrible day.  
  
And when Erwin Smith convinced Bertholdt that their new course should turn toward the ruins of Shiganshina, if only to find out if the key to their destruction laid waiting in the basement, he was soaring.  
  
There would be no need for goodbye. He had time to work things in his favour.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill be posting a new chapter for every 4 updates i make on the thread- i try to make at least one update per day, but its not always going to work out, so expect some fluctuating with the timespan between chapters

Armin needed to recover, after the situation with Eren in Trost. He hadn't been prepared for such a rush of fear-bitten adrenaline, especially with the sharp tear of grief that came in those horrible moments when he'd thought Eren was dead. Clinging to Reiner had numbed things slightly, but it was only a bad drug in worse times- he'd appreciated Reiner's attempts to comfort him, but everything had been too fresh and too open for him to properly relax into his mate's arms.

He didn't have that problem now, an official member of the infamous Survey Corps, hidden away in Reiner's arms the night before their first mission. Eren had been out of sight but hardly out of mind for months, but Reiner had been patient with him, letting him vent his worries and frustrations when Mikasa became too irritable with the whole situation to hear any more of it.

That was what he loved about Reiner. He understood him.

"I don't know how you put up with it," he confessed, murmuring against Reiner's bare chest while the other male smoothed one massive hand over the curve of his spine. His palm and fingers almost swallowed Armin's width completely. "With me. You could have been in the Military Police, with Annie. But you stayed."

Reiner snorted, nosing at the blond's hair with a little huff. "What's in Sina, anyway? Just a bunch of churches and stuffy rich people. I want to see those places you're always telling me about. Way more exciting."

Armin grinned, propping himself up slightly so he could meet Reiner's gaze. "I love you, you know that?"

Reiner grinned back at him, and Armin took a moment to admire the glint of his teeth, golden eyes that crinkled at the corners when he was happy. He felt safe- like he didn't have to wake up tomorrow and stare death in the face once more.

"I love you, too. Now, go to sleep."

\--

Eren was ecstatic to see him, up until the point where he went to pull Armin into a hug, only to draw back with his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"You smell like sex," he said frankly, and Mikasa's lips twitched in startled amusement. Armin wasn't very amused at all, but mortified as he slapped at Eren's hands.

"Don't say something like that! What if someone hears you?"

"So? They can all smell it, too." Eren ruffled the blond's hair, and two blue eyes glared at him from beneath his palm. "Where is Reiner, anyway? Did he join?"

"He wasn't going to, until he found out how close we were to being free," Armin said, batting at Eren's hand once more, and this time actually getting some results. "He hates the walls, too. He wants to see the world, Eren."

Eren rolled his eyes, messing up Armin's hair once more while the omega cried out in protest. "Yeah, yeah. Just don't start drooling over him all the time. That's not going to be any help."

"Who're you drooling over?" A voice boomed behind Armin, and he lit up immediately, his sounds of discomfort turning into a pleased sigh as he turned toward Reiner.

"No one. I can control myself."

"Really?" Reiner arched one painfully thin eyebrow, lips twitching up at the corners. "That's not what I remember-"

"Don't," Eren growled, actually sounding like he'd start a commotion if Reiner dared breathe one more word. "Just keep that shit to yourself."

Armin gave him a pointed look over his shoulder, taking Reiner's hand and giving it a squeeze. He knew that he was probably reassuring the wrong alpha, since Reiner wasn't the type to start fights, but maybe it would prove to Eren that no matter how much he griped and complained, nothing was about to change. "Why don't you practise what you preach, Eren?"

He heard a shocked noise, and Mikasa rushing to grab Eren's hand. The three childhood friends stared each other down for a moment, sharing a silent conversation that they knew Reiner would get nothing from.

Armin understood that Eren would be upset with him for saying something like that, but honestly, he was getting tired of always having to watch Eren's temper around Reiner. They shouldn't have to sneak around and keep secrets. If they wanted to crack jokes and actually be fucking happy for once, especially after Trost, then they would. He had a feeling that he was pushing Mikasa and Eren away, but really it was more like he was trying to juggle them, making room to somehow fit Reiner into the circle of people he loved.

And they were making it pretty damn difficult for him to do it.

The situation dissolved when Jean came over to see what everyone was glaring about, whisking the conversation away from Armin and Reiner's relationship and instead pushing Eren's pride down even further with news of Marco's death, and how much they now depended on him. Armin listened with a cold expression, having already done his grieving for an old friend, but Eren's shock almost broke him once more.

He leaned into Reiner, and as he always had, the taller male supported him.

\--

Eren's rage was kept at bay by their first expedition. Beyond the walls was something Armin could only describe as vast; seemingly endless. There were no walls to ruin the horizon, no white bar of capture to ruin that beautiful, tempting blue sky. Armin wanted to go beyond it, touch those clouds where the treeline ended, explore the Earth until there was nothing left and then settle down, satisfied that he had set foot in every strange new land, only to finally rest his weary body at the oceanside.

And Reiner would follow him anywhere.

Armin was absolutely starstruck by the idea that he would be seeing something, anything, other than dust-coated streets and tired citizens for the next few days. He was alive with his passion for new things, for the unknown, and he was tempted to break formation for a moment to guide his horse over the fresh, green grass. He wanted to stop and smell the freshness in the air, breathe it all in, but he was aware that they were on a mission and not a pleasure trip, so he kept in line and tried to absorb each streak of scenery that whizzed by him.

This illusion of immaculate perfection then shattered, quite suddenly, when reality hit in the form of the Female Titan.

Time seemed to slow down. Armin was struck by an awful sense of déjà-vu, watching as his group was slaughtered mercilessly at the hands of humanity's worst enemy, and he had barely any time to think to himself that she had a goal, she was intelligent, before she was on him. He felt the colour drain from his face as he guided his horse to move faster, please God move faster, she was there she was coming for him he would feel the heat of a monster's tongue once more and no one would know, who would tell Eren, who would tell Mikasa, who would tell Reiner-?!

Pain burst, white-hot and all over his body before it was stifled with shock. He felt dirt and rocks and that grass he'd longed for not too long ago scrape over his skin, smearing up his side as he went into a roll, helpless and immobile after being knocked off his horse. He tried to scramble up, scramble away, but all too soon she was over him, and he could smell omegan fear- a natural repellent to any other threat- pulse from him in thick waves. It did nothing to her, she was still bending down, and despite everything he could not bring himself to look away as she lifted his hood.

He saw her... saw her think it over. Debate on it. Her eyes were blue and vibrant, not the dead stare of other titans, and reminded him of the glowing fury of Eren's titan's stare, but hers was cold and seemingly apathetic.

Then she stood, and ran away.

Armin was still watching her go when Reiner approached.

He was in full-on alpha mode, getting off his horse and pulling Armin up to him, holding him tight and growling in his ear about how he could just kill her, he was so fucking angry, before he switched gears and murmured apologies that he wasn't there sooner. He kissed at Armin's hair, wary of any tender spots, and brushed the dirt off him in sheets. 

"You're okay, you're okay," he kept mumbling, insisting, even though Armin wasn't making any attempts to argue. He was sore, most definitely bruised, but he was alright. He allowed himself the moment to snuggle into Reiner's embrace, always aware of how little time they had, just to soothe the larger blond's worries before Jean joined them.

He gave them both his analysis on the Female Titan, sharing his speculations about her motives, and was immediately met with another bombardement of worry from Reiner. He was saying all of these ridiculous things like "Stay out of the way", or "I'll handle it", eventually bringing it to the point where both Armin and Jean were barking at him to back off for a second.

"I didn't almost kill myself during training to hide in a corner when we're actually in the field," Armin said, and that shut Reiner up pretty quickly. "We have to chase her down. Whose side are you taking; mine, or yours?"

Reiner went stone still, gaping at Armin like his mate had suggested they try dancing beneath the Female Titan's feet, before snapping his jaw closed with a determined expression.

"Ours."

Minutes later, when Armin was knocked off of his horse once more, this time earning a cascade of blood over his eyes, Reiner was livid. He went straight for the Female Titan, shrieking obscenities, only to be caught in one giant hand and crushed beneath her fingers.

"Don't look!" Jean was screaming, staring at the blood slicking the Female Titan's hand as she just stood there, almost smiling. "Armin, for God's sake- don't look!"

Armin shook his head, mute. He couldn't turn away.

Jean screamed at him again.

"Armin, please! Move!"

Armin shook his head once more, and stood.

"You killed them! You killed them both!"

Tears ran in hot rivers over his cheeks, his voice so loud and yet somehow so small, so crushed as he screamed for her attention. "You killed my best friend! You killed my mate! What more do you want to take from me?!"

Jean darted toward him, telling him to be quiet, just shush, they had to run, but Armin was determined.

"She killed them, Jean!" he screeched, voice broken. "Eren- he was crushed under her foot! I saw it!"

"What the hell are you-?!"

Just then, the titan's fingers opened, and Reiner burst from them in a hail of scarlet blood. His blades shone like lightning in the unfittingly cheery sunlight, setting half of his form aglow in a halo of brilliant white, and Armin never thought he'd cried harder than he did at that moment, until Reiner leapt down from the titan's arm and took them both out of harm's way.

\--

That night, in the middle of all that hell, Armin's heat came early once more.

It was a painful, stress-laden ordeal. Cramps ripped at his stomach, making him fold in on himself with the utter agony of it, and no amount of rubbing and soothing and murmuring from Reiner could take the pain of it away. He threw himself at his mate in a fit of desperation, needing him and the flood of pleasure-inducing hormones that his alpha would provide during sex, and their love-making was nothing like the sweet and gentle touches of their first time. Reiner had him down on his belly, hips raised in the air as the larger male pounded at him, easing the stress of the day out of both of them as they used each other, just trying to get as close as possible until they could fool themselves into thinking that even death couldn't come between them.

Reiner knotted Armin to hoarse screams and quiet sobbing, helping him cry it out as his body was filled with the other male's release and those numbing pheromones, and for a reason Armin couldn't bring himself to put too much effort into thinking about, Reiner wouldn't stop telling him that he was sorry.

\--

"If she wasn't in the fucking Military Police, she'd be dead!" Reiner swore to Bertholdt, only barely managing to keep his voice to a low hiss under his friend's strained looks. "She knocked him off his horse twice, does that sound like an accident to you?!"

"She couldn't tell who he was," Bertholdt insisted. "That was the point, remember? Armin's plan was to pull his hood up so she wouldn't know if he was Eren or not- it's not my fault it worked."

"She's a murderer," Reiner growled, pacing back and forth like a furious grizzly. He shook his head, huffed, and narrowed his eyes at his now perspiring companion. "I saw her crush people, Bertholdt. We promised not to kill directly."

"They were in her way," was all he got in response, and the darker-haired teen's response was so meek that if Reiner hadn't been expecting it, he wouldn't have heard it.

The blond shook his head once more, and continued to pace.

In the three days since the massacre caused by the Female Titan, Armin had been put on temporary leave to wait out his heat. Reiner was mostly barred from seeing him, even when Armin cried and begged with his supervisors to have him visit more often, or even just stay. They were both sorely missing each other, needing to be soothed by the other's scent and warmth, and Armin just about broke down all over again at the end of each pitifully short visit. It just about broke Reiner's heart, but he was still trying to play the role of a good little soldier, along with his identity as a warrior, and as a lover. He wished he could drop the first two roles completely and just take Armin and run, but life didn't work the way it did in the stories they used to read together. Reiner didn't like to admit it, but even he could see the promised light at the end of the tunnel growing dim, like a flame behind aged glass.

They'd only been able to have sex the first night of Armin's heat. Since then, Reiner had been worried about the supervising nurse accidentally walking in, as well as Armin's injuries. The poor boy was splotched red and purple and a sickly green all over, not to mention the angry split in his forehead that had caused the blood to drip into his eyes before. There were times when Reiner would have to snap his fingers to bring Armin back to the present- no doubt the result of a minor concussion. He didn't want to risk putting Armin through any more pain than he needed to be.

"She's a murderer," he repeated under his breath, staring down at the floor like it had somehow personally offended him. Pace left, turn, pace right. "She's a killer- God, Bertl. We're all killers."

"We are not! Reiner, listen," Bertholdt was pleading, "they attacked her first. She was just taking out any obstacles- the same way we do. It's self defense, alright? I know we're not- what we do isn't good, I'll admit that, but we're just trying to survive. We're just trying to go home."

When Reiner didn't look convinced, Bertholdt continued. "Don't you want to go home, Reiner?"

The blond's expression went soft- a sad, hurting look. He ached to go home, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was a better way. A way that didn't end up with Armin at the mercy of another titan, a way where he could keep all of the people he loved.

"I want to go home so bad," he rasped finally, a little surprised. He didn't know when he'd started crying. "I just wish we didn't have to do it like this."

Bertholdt frowned, sighed, and let his shoulders slump in a heavy-hearted relief.

"I know, Reiner. I know."

\--

Armin was cramped and irritable for a solid week after his heat. He'd gone through an early one before, but his most recent had been painful to the point where he could barely move, save for the frequent motions of his hands and hips as he tried to get himself off without Reiner's help. After the heat dissipated, he expected his body to settle so he could be declared ready to go back into the field, but instead more cramps gripped his belly and had him curled in bed for days, unable to stomach anything more than weak soup and bread.

Reiner hovered over him like a mother hen, ready to chase of any disturbances (more than once, he'd had to push Eren out of the infirmary when the other alpha started accusing him of doing this to Armin, like it was his fault the Female Titan had fucked him over so badly), and Armin had watched these confrontations with bleary eyes before pulling Reiner down onto the cot with him, huddled against his mate's warmth and seeking refuge from his own body.

Agony rippled on for days, coming and going like the fabled tide, and then the bleeding started.

It came in small amounts, but it caused enough worry for Reiner to go running for a nurse, going on and on about internal bleeding. Armin flushed red and covered his face during the inspection, his legs spread for the doctor to go poking around the area (Reiner snarled quietly through the whole event), but eventually the man just shook his head and went looking for another doctor, until Armin was spread eagle for a small audience of murmuring medical professionals.

After the inspection had been performed, Armin found himself lying on his side on the unforgiving mattress provided to him during his stay, keeping his head pillowed on Reiner's chest and rising with every breath his mate took. Reiner held his hand, his thick fingers almost looking bizarre compared to the slenderness of Armin's own, and held the clasped hands to his lips so he could kiss Armin's knuckles, telling him he was going to be alright, he would be able to smell death on him if it was coming.

"She didn't hit me that hard," Armin mumbled. "I know I'm not dying, but something's not right. You don't just... start bleeding there for no reason."

"We knew there was something wrong when you started your heat so early," Reiner murmured back, kissing his knuckles in a row- one, two, three, four. One more kiss for luck. "We knew when it turned out to be so painful. It can't just be a coincidence. I've never heard you scream like that."

"Sure you have," Armin said, and he managed to keep a straight face for maybe half a second (three-quarters, tops) before he broke out into a tiny grin.

"I- hey." Reiner blinked, catching on, and peered over their linked hands to see Armin gazing innocently back up at him, smiling in a way that seemed absolutely unfitting for someone who had single-handedly convinced an execution squad to release their target at cannon point. "You made a dirty joke."

"I made a dirty joke."

"... I'm very proud."

Armin had to be eased into a sitting position when the final verdict was made- just by a single doctor, this time, who smiled as though she knew about a surprise birthday party, or something similar.

"Congratulations," she said warmly, and that was all it took before Armin put two and two together, one hand flying to his stomach while the other flew to his heart.

"No," Reiner breathed, and it might have been the wrong thing to say at the moment, but Armin didn't take much notice of it, because he was also in total disbelief. 

Two and a half weeks after being thrown from his horse, somehow escaping death at the hands of an aberrant, and then being subjected to what may have been the most painful recovery period of his life, Armin Arlert was told he was carrying his mate's baby.

Their baby.

He was pregnant.

"I'm doomed," Reiner whispered beside him. "Bertholdt- oh God, Eren-"

Armin finally found his voice, and with it he laughed until it gave out once more.

\--

Armin didn't get the chance to share his news with his friends right away. Reiner begged him to just keep it to themselves, fearing that they could be wrong, that it could be something else entirely, that he'd wake up in the middle of the night with Mikasa's blade at his throat and Eren's teeth following suit. The smaller blond had indulged him, if only to bask in the idea of growing new life inside him; a piece of himself, as well as a piece of Reiner. He didn't know if he was thrilled or terrified, but the nurses and doctors assured him that a mixture of both was to be expected. They told him to take it easy, take the proper medications, and keep a desk job if he insisted on going back to work.

He didn't have such an easy time with that last one.

A few days after the diagnosis, Armin was declared clear to leave the infirmary. He'd been giddy with excitement over being able to finally get up out of that bed, out of that damned room entirely, but when the doctor told him he was unfit for duty with his condition, he'd been heartbroken. He hadn't cried or even put on a pout, because he understood- God, did he understand- but he wasn't ready to let go of his dream so soon. Even after the baby was born, someone would need to be around to take care of it, and Armin just couldn't be expected to bring it with him outside the walls. The most responsible thing for him to do would be to settle down somewhere until the time was right to return to the Survey Corps, but it was a decision that was hard to swallow.

Reiner rubbed soothingly at his back, ever aware of his mate's dreams of exploring, and nosed at the little omega's hair.

"You'll get back out there some day," he promised, tapping at Armin's button nose and watching it twitch as the other male sniffed grouchily. "I'll make sure of it." 

That one, he would make sure he didn't break.

"I just want to go out one more time," Armin sighed, glancing out of the window, where streets and buildings stretched on until the solid white line of Wall Rose could be seen, trapping them all in. "That last time- it didn't really count. I want to go out there and not be some aberrant's rag doll."

Reiner's gaze darkened, but he kept rubbing at Armin's back, smoothing up the curve of his spine and kneading back down toward the base. "You won't. I won't let it happen again."

"She almost got you," Armin reminded him, quiet. 

"I won't let it happen again," Reiner repeated, this time kissing Armin's hair. The hand that had previously been making Armin's nose scrunch up beneath it went down to the other male's stomach, still flat- but not for long. "Promise."

\--

Bertholdt didn't even seem surprised, when Reiner finally told him.

"Great," he huffed out, looking so damn defeated that if it had been a different situation, Reiner would have felt sorry for him. "Great- that's just great, Reiner. Go on. Settle down. Have a baby. Forget what we've been working toward half of our lives- God."

"Thank you for your support," Reiner muttered, returning Bertholdt's tired groan with a glare. "Really means a lot to me."

"Reiner," Bertholdt's face twisted, eyes screwing up like he might cry. The boy that had once been this teenager's best friend tried not to shrink back against that look, though his chest ached for Bertholdt's pain, as well as his own. "I don't think you even hear yourself, anymore. You can't- you can't just throw everything we've done away. Not after all those people..."

He trailed off, giving the blond a pointed look. To Reiner's credit, he didn't grimace, even though he could feel it pulling at his lips, trying to twist at his face without his permission. "We didn't kill them. You said so."

"We did, though." The taller of the two let his hands flop to his sides, gaze pointed downward. They'd both been so small, once. Just two little boys who would one day do big, horrible things. Even now, the roles just didn't fit them right. Reiner now found himself as a soon-to-be father, a soldier, a warrior, and truthfully- a murderer. The giant that killed thousands. "We tore that wall down, Reiner. We almost had this one. Now you want to go running around, letting Armin raise your kid inside it."

"I'll take him away from here," Reiner said stubbornly, not liking where this conversation was going one bit. "Both of them. I'll save them, then we can take the wall down. And Sina, too. Would that finally make you happy?"

"How many times have I told you- you can't save him!" Bertholdt was angry, now- a flush of rage starting to bloom over his insomnia-bruised face. "You never should have touched him! Anyone else, maybe, but not him. He's a huge threat to us, Reiner, whether you want to admit it or not."

The dark-haired boy started to pace, looking torn and worn-down and just so ready to break. Reiner felt that way too, but he had to remain strong. He had too much to lose, now.

"Maybe it's a good thing you knocked him up," Bertholdt muttered, stopping in the middle of his turn, facing away from Reiner. "Now he can't get in the way."

Before he knew it, the blond was tearing a snarl from between his lips, the hair at the back of his neck standing at attention as he let that- that betrayal was over him. "You don't care at all, do you?! You act like you're doing what's best, thinking you're some big brave warrior- you're a big fucking coward, that's what you are. Don't act like if it hadn't been for Annie, you wouldn't have left way before this!"

Bertholdt turned on him, eyes blazing, so tall where Reiner was so solid. For a moment, it looked like the two of them would fight- and God, for a moment, Reiner craved it, wished he could wring some of his fury out through his best friend's neck, make at least one part of these tangled identities fall silent-

Before he realized what he was thinking, and fell back. Those great, broad shoulders shook, and Reiner Braun- the Armored Titan, humanity's greatest threat- began to cry.

And after a moment, the Colossal Titan wept with him.

\--

Eren and Mikasa came to hunt Armin down when word reached him that he wouldn't be going on any more missions. No one knew why, other than Erwin Smith, but word was going around that Armin's fall had been way worse than it had initially appeared and now he was waiting out the rest of his days in a small apartment near Trost.

The part about the apartment was true, they'd been told- but Levi made sure to stress that they'd have to be pretty fucking stupid to believe Armin could be dying since they'd last seen him, without actually getting out of bed. They were given directions toward a fairly well put-together building that nearly hugged the great wall, as close to the outside world as possible.

Eren and Mikasa both thought it fitting.

Armin seemed to be waiting for them when they came in- though perhaps he was simply just standing there, for a lack of anything better to do. The apartment was well-kept but small, consisting of only a bathroom, kitchen, and a bedroom- all crammed together to save as much space as possible, so other people could have a small block of space to call home. Small boxes full of meager belongings were still stacked everywhere, since Armin didn't seem to be willing to commit to unpacking yet, so they had to watch their step as they moved toward him, looking him over for any new bruises or cuts.

"If it was that huge lumbering jackass, I'll kill him," Eren swore, peering at Armin's forehead and trying to determine whether those splotches of discoloured skin were new, or simply left over from the blond's run-in with the Female Titan. 

"It probably wasn't," Mikasa hummed, looking at the now-healed skin of Armin's knuckles. He tried to struggle away from both of them, only to be held fast by their need to have him sufficiently coddled. "It goes against an alpha's nature to hurt their omega- especially if the omega is already injured. However-" her eyes flashed, and Armin decided that was quite enough.

"He didn't hurt me! I'm fine, you guys." He pushed them both away, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. Eren pouted, trying to sidle on back up to him for nuzzles, but Armin wasn't having it. "You guys never had a problem with Reiner before we got together, so I don't see why it has to be any different now."

"We're just being cautious," Mikasa insisted softly, proving to be more successful at getting some cuddles out of Armin than her adopted brother. "It happened a bit suddenly, and with so many alphas around the same omega..."

"Not to mention, you've been our best friend since forever," Eren put in, sneaking in under Mikasa's arm so the both of them would get a chance at holding Armin tight. "It's hard to share."

Armin snorted, trying his damndest not to smile. He didn't want to give in so easily, after all the drama the other two had caused. But he really had missed Eren, and he and Mikasa were close enough to be sister and brother. "Well, you'd better learn. Reiner isn't going anywhere."

"Speaking of which," Eren rushed to get to the point of their visit, never one for beating around the bush. "Neither are you, apparently. If you're not hurt, why aren't you coming back with us?"

"You've wanted to go outside the walls even more than I ever have," Mikasa agreed, leaning her cheek on top of Armin's head. Others thought her cold, and she was when she needed to be, but the three of them had always managed to find warmth and comfort in each other. "It's strange. I don't like it."

"I knew you wouldn't," Armin sighed, closing his eyes briefly and just... drinking them both in. His family. Or at least, part of it. "The truth is, I don't really like it either. I want to get back out there, help you find the basement, help put all of this to rest... But..."

His eyes opened, glancing down. Eren and Mikasa's gaze followed, but of course, they found nothing. For a while, no one would be able to tell by just looking at him.

"... I can't give this up."

His hands went to his flat belly, cradling it, and in the next second, Eren was screaming.

\--

It took close to an hour to get Eren back to speaking at a normal volume. Armin, who had once been able to coax Eren out of a rage while in his titan form, couldn't even begin to tame the storm that was Eren's fury now. He tried, begged, pleaded with Eren to calm down, but Eren just wouldn't take it. No, he had to scream until his throat was raw with it, everything from cursing Reiner's name to threatening to burn the world down, his teeth bared in ferocious snarls and ripping growls. Mikasa finally had to yell him down, telling him to just stop it already, he would scare Armin and it wasn't good for the baby's development for him to be stressed-

That just got Eren going all over again, only managing to stop himself when he tasted red iron at the back of his mouth from his strained throat, and even though he knew it would be healed in moments he just couldn't bring himself to renew his fit. Not with Armin looking at him like that, like he'd ripped a puppy out of the blond's hands and stomped on it, but God- this was a baby.

"You're too young," was what he managed to say, his voice so soft after all of that yelling. "Look at you. You're too little. You're too smart. You're supposed to be fighting with us."

"I will," Armin tried, reaching for Eren's hand. Mikasa hugged them both around their shoulders. "I'll just have to stay behind a desk, and come up with strategies. It's nothing I didn't expect to do."

"But you're supposed to come see," Eren insisted, voice cracking with emotion. Armin really hoped he wouldn't cry. "You can't just- you can't fucking stay here. Not after everything we've done to get this far."

Armin gripped his hand tight, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It's probably better this way," he murmured. "I almost died, last time. If the Female Titan hadn't been looking specifically for you, I would have been killed. I'm not meant to be out there."

"That's bullshit," Mikasa said, bluntly. 

"It's okay," Armin insisted again, reaching to hold both of them close to his body. Their little circle of three was now a ring of four. "Just tell me everything, whenever you come back."

"We will," Mikasa promised, nosing at Armin's hair.

Eren was oddly quiet.

"Eren?" Armin tried, a little afraid that he'd start pitching a fit again. "What are you thinking about?"

Eren took a deep breath through his nose, and then let it out with a sharp sound. "I'm just praying to every god I've heard of that it comes out looking like you."

Armin smiled. "Reiner said the same thing."

The other boy muttered to himself, displeased, but he still snuggled closer to his 'siblings'- their little ragtag team of three orphans, taking on the world together. That much wouldn't change, even if Armin had to do it in some stuffy office.

They'd be fine.

\--

They weren't fine.

Erwin had been able to keep Eren out of the clutches of the Military Police by insisting that he was unfit for transportation. The lie itself had no chance of holding water- everyone knew the healing properties of a titan, as well as a titan shifter- but the court proceedings that followed were able to stretch that time significantly, delaying Eren's departure by several weeks. Unfortunately, it couldn't be put off forever, and that left Eren with only a few hours to prepare himself to be shipped out to Wall Sina.

And Armin couldn't go with them.

"Reiner doesn't think it'll be safe," was his answer to Eren's outraged question of, "Why the hell not?!"

Armin was now four weeks pregnant- the days were being tallied on a scrap of paper on the wall. Six lines, and then a score through them to represent seven days. Sometimes Reiner would stop and stare at that little piece of paper, unable to comprehend how fast time was going by, and Armin would squeeze his mate's hand in agreement before pulling the other male toward where dinner was waiting, or across the room to the bed. Armin had grown to love the small space, even if Reiner felt a bit cramped when he came by; it was something he'd read about, something called 'nesting'. The smaller, more confined space to hole up in while waiting out the pregnancy, the better. 

"We're just going for another trial," Eren huffed, narrowing his eyes at his friend. "It's not going to be dangerous at all- you were at the last one. You know how they work. If Reiner thinks it's going to be dangerous, he's planning something."

"Eren," Armin sighed, reaching up to pat the brunet's cheek. A small, mostly non-threatening growl rose from the other boy's throat. "He's not planning anything. You remember what I said- that theory I had."

Those sharp aquamarine eyes softened for a moment, going dull with the heavy truth of Armin's guess. He'd reached the conclusion while settling into his new office, humming over maps and strategic formations and trying, despite everything that screamed at him not to, to remember the details of the Female Titan's face.

Cold, steely-blue eyes.

The rest of the facts he'd gathered subconsciously came rushing up to meet him. For a moment, he'd had to throw a hand over his mouth, holding back a flood of acidic bile while his other hand went to his still flat belly. The morning sickness hadn't started yet- and it wouldn't for another two weeks, most likely, according to some books he'd picked up from the library- but he'd found himself getting nauseous more and more frequently, particularly when he was upset. He couldn't tell if it was supposed to be a defense mechanism for expecting omegas or simply a result of all the stress he'd been put under, but he dreaded the moments when his stomach would lurch with a cold tug of fear. He wished that would stop.

"You really think it's her, don't you?"

"I don't want to. But she had Marco's gear, and her face... You saw her."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a moment, thinking it over. 

"I want to be wrong so, so badly," Armin finally admitted, sitting down on his bed. Eren followed, leaning his shoulder against the smaller male's to support him. Normally, Mikasa would be on his other side, but she was preparing to take Levi's usual place in a battle formation, should the need rise for one. Armin and Eren were both incredibly proud of her, but also wished she could at least spend more time with them. The only reason Eren was allowed to come visit Armin was because he had two guards waiting outside Armin's door, ready to grab him if Eren tried to make a break for it.

"Sometimes I think I'm wrong. I convince myself that I mistook the maneuver gear, or that their fighting styles actually weren't that similar. Then I realize that I'm just twisting the facts to make myself feel better, and I feel even worse."

"I wish you were wrong, too," Eren murmured. "But you never are. We'll find out in Sina."

Armin huffed out a sigh, nuzzling against Eren's shoulder. "Maybe it's a good thing I'm not going out in the middle of it. All that stress would be bad for the baby."

Eren said nothing, for a moment- he was always thrown off by the mention of the baby, like he was always forgetting that Armin was pregnant with Reiner's child. He was just so small, too young- none of it was right. Eren had trusted Reiner as an older brother back in training, but now he felt hostile toward the larger male, and being reminded that all signs pointed to Armin being with him for the rest of his life-

Something felt very, very wrong about that.

"... Do you think it'll be a boy, or a girl?"

Armin hummed thoughtfully for a moment, smoothing a hand over his stomach, like the answer would magically appear against his palm. "I don't know, Eren. We won't know for quite some time."

"I'm not asking if you know- what are you hoping for?"

The blond hummed again, letting his hand rest over his belly, and almost letting himself imagine he could feel a slight swelling there. "Reiner and I are hoping for a girl. We'd love them no matter who they were, but I'd like to have a girl."

Eren winced at the mention of Reiner, but didn't comment. "Any reason why?"

"No," Armin chirped, shifting away from Eren so he could lie back on the bed. "I just feel like I want a girl."

"Hm. Still hope she looks like you."

\--

Reiner came to say goodbye after Eren had left. They were getting ready to load up the wagons, preparing to start the journey toward the center of the walls. The alpha had taken time out of what was starting to look like a cramped schedule (and indeed was, according to an irritated-looking Levi), to go see Armin and maybe collect a few kisses while he was at it.

He found his mate at the stove, heating up something warm and sweet-smelling in a small pot. Lately, the little blond had had an insatiable craving for sweets- he could often be found melting sugar down and adding fruit, trying to find the right combination that would perfectly call to the taste that was begging at the tip of his tongue. Reiner watched for a moment, knowing that Armin knew he was there, and smiled to himself at the sight. He'd have to look for cakes or something while he was in Sina- even if it involved a five-finger discount. Bearing that in mind, he padded up behind Armin, looping his arms around the other male's slender waist and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Will you share?"

"This?" Armin glanced down at the half-melted sugar, considering it. "Not a chance."

"Ouch," Reiner grinned against Armin's hair, swaying lightly with him in that moment of bliss. No titans, no double-lives... Just the two of them.

"I'm eating for two, now," Armin reminded him, and Reiner quickly changed it to 'just the three of them' in his head. Sometimes it was all he thought about, and sometimes it just slipped his mind. "I need to get used to fending for myself, anyway. Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave?"

"I am. I just wanted to make sure you weren't crying into my pillow." He pressed a loud, wet kiss to Armin's cheek, earning an equally loud sound of protest from its recipient. "You know." Smooch. "Pining away." Another long, wet kiss. "Missing me so desperately-"

"Stop it!" Armin was laughing, squirming in Reiner's hold and slapping lightly at his arms to try and get away. "I can't miss you if you're still here, you know."

"Aw, babe," Reiner cooed, a sugary-sweet coating over genuine affection. "I love you, too." He spun Armin around, reaching behind the boy to click the stove off. The smaller of the two grinned up at him, a little pink in the cheeks and definitely riding the high of just... being in love. Happy. Bonded.

They met in a soft, brief kiss- a proper one, this time, instead of a loud and playful one. Then they shared another, and two more, and maybe just... one more for good luck.

"Alright," Armin murmured, his lips still close enough to brush over Reiner's as he spoke. "Maybe I'll miss you, when I'm not swamped in maps and papers."

"That doesn't seem like a lot of time to miss me," Reiner said in return, pressing another kiss to his mate's lips. They'd both be very busy.

The smaller blond made a small, humming sound near the base of his throat- almost like a purr. "Do you want me to be unhappy while you're away?"

He had a point. Reiner lifted his hands, cupping Armin's face between his palms so their gazes could meet- the blue of a crisp winter meeting the tawny gold of autumn. "Never. Not even when I'm here."

"You could stay," Armin mumbled, leaning in to nuzzle at Reiner's jaw. "Fake an injury. Tell them I pitched a fit until you had no other choice but to stay and calm me down."

"You'd pitch a fit for me?"

"No- that's why you'll have to be really good at acting."

"You're very mean, today," Reiner clucked his tongue, kissing the tip of Armin's nose. "I just have to go along, stand around, and make sure Eren doesn't destroy half the city. Easy."

"I'm reconsidering that fit," Armin groaned, pushing forward to wrap his lover up in a warm hug. "If Eren does try to tear the city apart, just promise me you'll stay out of his way. I don't think he likes you, anymore."

Reiner felt a small stab of guilt at that, but it was easy to ignore when Armin was snuggled up to his chest. He smoothed a hand through the other male's hair, glancing out of the tiny window that faced away from the wall. It reappeared on the edge of the horizon, ever present, no matter where anyone looked. 

He would knock it down, if it meant he and Armin never had to be trapped inside it again. 

"I know he doesn't."

He could feel, rather than see, Armin frown against his front. The smaller of the two pulled back to give Reiner a pout, which he ached to just kiss away until those perfect cupid's bow lips were curved into a bright smile. "You don't have much time. We should talk about all of this, later- sit on the bed?"

"A goodbye present?" Reiner wondered aloud, immediately perking a bit at that. He did as he was told, grinning wolfishly up at his mate. "Do I get to unwrap you?"

"We don't have enough time for that," Armin chuckled, though on the inside he was honestly disappointed. "But I promise, you'll like it."

With that, Armin settled on his knees between Reiner's legs, and set to work.

\--

Later, Reiner came trotting up to the party of soldiers getting ready to leave for Sina. Levi sniffed the air once, pulled a sour face, and shot a look of absolute disgust at the new arrival.

"It's no fucking wonder he's got your bastard already," the captain put bluntly. He'd never been one to bow down to all of that 'omegas must respect any alpha' bullshit. He was a man of opinions, and just because he had an itch to scratch once a month and a small stature didn't mean he'd accept anything less than the respect he knew he deserved. "It's a wonder you can pull yourself out of his ass long enough to get dressed in the morning."

Reiner just waved it off, not minding in the slightest. He was in a very, very good mood. Bertholdt, upon seeing that Levi was a bit offended by Reiner's dismissal, darted forward to lead the blond away. 

"You don't smell nearly as bad as he says you do," the taller male assured. "But you can definitely tell you were up to something. Sweet goodbye?"

"The sweetest," Reiner hummed, pleased that Bertholdt wasn't launching into dramatic ravings about why everything he did was a bad idea. This was turning out to be a beautiful afternoon. "I can't wait to go home."

"... Reiner," Bertholdt started, gently, and the stocky male groaned. Never mind that last comment. "You know what we're going to do, right?"

"We're going to Sina for Eren's trial," he said easily. "And to arrest the Female Titan."

"And that doesn't strike you as... bad?"

"Please," Reiner huffed, rolling his eyes. "She can take care of herself. She's probably on the run as we speak."

"Even so... Armin was the one who figured her out."

"... What are you getting at?" There was a warning bite to his tone, eyes sharp and narrowed as he directed his gaze at Bertholdt. Ahead, the wagons began to move, so they both settled themselves on their horses to follow.

Bertholdt made a small, pained noise. "He's dangerous," he pointed out. "Just like I said. Even when he's not actually in the field- I don't like how he figures things out. We could be next."

"We won't be," Reiner assured, feeling his patience wear thin. "And if we are, he won't turn us in. He loves me. We're starting a family together."

"A family that never should have happened," Bertholdt hissed, guiding his horse to move in step with Reiner's. "This wasn't part of the plan. It could ruin everything we've worked toward."

Reiner rolled his eyes, and worked on tuning his friend out.

Bertholdt wasn't having it.

"Reiner, he could ruin us. If he finds out, he won't just- drop everything and run away with us for love. He'll see us as monsters, and he'll put a dagger in the back of your neck while you sleep with him."

Reiner wasn't listening. He was thinking of a warm, sweet smell, and an endless horizon.

\--

Reiner didn't know how he was supposed to tell Armin that Eren had indeed knocked half the city down.

He watched in a kind of stunned fascination as the two titans wrestled, massive and just looking so wrong in the middle of those manicured roads and portrait houses. They fought, kicked, punched, bit, and clawed at each other like rabid animals- pushing each other through schools, hospitals, churches, and homes. The devastation was just unbelievable.

There was a moment when Reiner was tempted to shift, just to grab them both and get them to stop, but Bertholdt grabbed his shoulder and shook his head, looking stern.

For the first time in a long time, Reiner listened. He fell back, silent and horrified, as the titans destroyed what was supposed to have been the safest place left for humanity. Blood spurted over stone, bones were ground to a pudding beneath the buildings that had once sheltered them, and all the while the walls stood like silent judges, looming over them all and reminding them that not even they, gifts from God, could stop the devastation hell-bent on humanity.

Reiner watched, and after a while, he felt nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are life to me


	3. Chapter 3

It was easier, slipping into the warrior's mind. It made watching the two titans wreak undeserved havoc on the city of the rich and safe much, much more painless. Reiner saw a squirt of blood flare up beneath a few dusty bricks, and he realized that without Armin there to worry over, he could focus less on the life that had just been snuffed out and more on the pull and snap of each giant punch, each thunderous crack of flesh against flesh and the furious roars that ring so loud that both of the inner walls must have heard them by now.

Reiner was a little surprised at how quickly he found himself rooting for Annie. Sure, they'd been part of a- what did they call themselves? A team? That word just didn't fit right- they'd been part of something, a unit, but over the past few months the blond had thought he was drifting. He just couldn't seem to connect with the actions in his past, unable to empathize when Bertholdt needed it most, and lost when it came to the subject of whether or not what they had done was worth it.

Of course it was worth it. They were going home.

His teeth grit in his mouth, eyes hard and cold as he watched the titan shifters pummel each other, rolling around and essentially tearing each other apart until one of them could get the upper hand. Annie was most definitely the one thinking the most clearly, but Eren was recovering at a speed Reiner hadn't seen before, like his rage alone could give him the edge he needed to win this fight. 

Reiner kind of wanted Annie to kill him.

He felt bad about it, since of course Armin would be so terribly upset- but it would make sense to want it, if it meant they'd eliminate one more threat against their mission. He could see it now; Eren in his weak human body, crushed to nothing beneath the sole of the Female Titan's foot, unable to regenerate because he was just dead, gone, never to stand in their way again. One less thing to worry about, one less thing to keep him awake at night, when Armin's soft breathing should have been enough to lull him to peaceful sleep. And Armin would be upset, yes, but at the moment Reiner was sure he could make his mate see sense. There was a reason it had to be done, and it would bring them one step closer to escaping the walls forever- no more war or politics or death. They could raise their child together, maybe have more... It would all be perfect.

It was like having an epiphany. Reiner's vision was clear, and set on a bright new future. Eren hated him, anyway, and the blond was starting to return the sentiment. Eren stressed Armin out too much, what with his short temper and constant campaigning against Reiner being within a five-mile radius of his other half- no way was that good for Armin, or the baby. In fact, it kind of set Reiner a little more on edge, the more he thought about it. For one wild second, he considered shifting and doing the job himself. He'd turn into the Armored Titan, turn Eren into a nameless smear up the side of Wall Sina, and turn the castle into a pile of rubble. Perfect plan.

Bertholdt caught the Reiner's wrist, holding it steady with an insisting panic in his eyes, and the blond couldn't understand why until he saw that his hand was halfway up to his lips.

"Don't. Not now."

Reiner let out a gruff sound of understanding, nodding his head to tell his friend that it was alright to let go of him.

Bertholdt didn't do it.

"Who are you, right now?"

"Reiner," the blond answered, blinking. Of course he was Reiner.

"Alright, then- what are you?"

Reiner thought that over for a moment, trying to grasp what exactly Bertholdt was asking him. What was he? He was... What was he?

"... I'm a warrior," he said finally, nodding along with his own answer, as if he were trying to confirm to himself that that was the right one to give.

As the land echoed with another crack of two titans meeting each other in battle, Bertholdt Hoover smiled.

However, it was only short-lived. Mikasa cut Annie down from the wall, a dark symbol on their bright horizon as the two lost boys watched their lost girl fall. Eren was a savage beast at the back of her neck, and Reiner went to bite his hand once more to step in before they lost her forever, but Bertholdt held him back and Annie, always the strongest of their group, saved herself with a crystal prison. Reiner felt pain knot at the back of his throat as reality settled in, the fact that Annie might never come out- he wasn't sure she even knew how, but it was better than the alternative.

"I guess it's just like old times," Bertholdt said later, when they were packing into a courtroom later that day, awaiting the sentence of the suicidal boy that might have just ruined everything for them. "Just the two of us."

"For now," Reiner agreed, eyes fixed on Eren's disheveled form, bowed in the center of attention as Erwin Smith fought his case once more. He'd decided that yes, he most definitely wanted that boy dead.

He'd kiss Armin as many times as he needed to, in order to make up for it. Then he could get his mate to come with them, after there was no boy with blazing green eyes to bully the smaller blond into taking the wrong side.

Bertholdt eyed him warily, looking almost afraid of his best friend, and then it was Reiner Braun's turn to smile.

\--

By the time all of the formalities had been taken care of and the Survey Corps was given the go-head to return to Wall Rose, Armin had six sets of seven scores written on the little piece of paper on his wall. He'd been keeping up with the events that had happened in Sina through word of mouth, chasing informants up and down the streets and corridors until they granted him answers- and most definitely frightening some poor old woman who'd been gossiping outside a shop with her friend, goodness.

The omega hadn't been able to gain any details, like whether or not Reiner had been killed in the titan battle, but he didn't focus on it. He had this feeling that he'd just know if his mate had passed, even though a tiny part of his brain whispered that it was an impossibility, and he clung on to that thought with everything he had. 

Armin suffered his first true bout of morning sickness the day the wagons were due to arrive back in Wall Rose. He was excited about it, in a twisted sort of way- this was usually the sign people waited for, confirming that the doctors hadn't made a mistake, that he was most definitely expecting. At the same time, however, he was absolutely disgusted with the bitter taste it left in his mouth, as well as the ugly mess it left on the edge of the windowsill (he'd tried to stretch his head completely on the window and aim for the grass below, but his timing had been off by a fraction of a second).

Six rows of seven, and one more line by the time Reiner came home.

Reiner, who in the two weeks since his decision to kill Eren, had forgotten about the whole ordeal completely.

They kissed each other hello, Armin's hands balled up in Reiner's shaggy hair (it needed trimming) while one of Reiner's massive hands covered his mate's stomach, the alpha's entire body giving a little shiver of excitement when he found that yes, he could feel the smallest of bumps rising from the smaller blond's slender middle.

"Put on some weight while I was away?" he wondered when they parted, smiling against Armin's lips because they just couldn't find any reason to drift any further away from each other, not when it had been so long since they'd had this kind of touch.

Armin bit his mate's lower lip, tugging at Reiner's shirt to lead them toward their bed. "I might have. You can see, if you undress me."

"You're very eager."

"I'm very pregnant. It's normal. Come have sex with me."

"You'll look so good, when you're further along," Reiner cooed, brushing his palm over Armin's stomach as he pushed the other male's shirt up and out of the way. "Nice and full- just like you were when I knotted you, do you remember?"

Armin whimpered pitifully in response, only taking his hands away from Reiner to get his shirt off- then he was being pressed into the mattress, on his back and scrambling to get his mate in a similar state of undress while the larger male sucked kisses against his jaw. The pheromones clouded the room in thick sheets, making them both buzz with the arousal and with the need, something deep and primal that they hadn't even touched on in so long. "I didn't- ah!- know you were into that sort of thing..."

"Neither did I," Reiner admitted biting down on Armin's collar bone and earning a small scream in return. "Until I saw you, our first time- I wanted to get you pregnant right then; I wanted to make you mine."

"You did," Armin giggled breathlessly, kicking off his own pants as Reiner's shirt was tossed into some unknown corner of the room. "You did it, I'm yours- you're also mine, remember that-"

"Never once left my mind." Reiner pushed his hand into Armin's underwear, squeezing at his length and finding it already hard and slicked with pre. He dipped lower, pressed with his fingers against that tight little hole, and found that it was also slick. "I thought about you, all the time. Drove Bertholdt crazy."

Armin moaned, arching up into Reiner's hand and panting, red-faced and beautiful, as he scratched marks into his mate's back. "Don't talk about him," he murmured quickly, "Talk about us. Tell me you want me."

"I want you," Reiner breathed immediately, already two fingers deep and Armin was almost howling with it, writhing on his mate's thick fingers and trying to get them deeper. "I want you, I want to fuck you- God, Armin, I just wanna take you away from here-"

"Do it," Armin practically sobbed. "What's stopping you?"

"Nothing," Reiner growled, and he suddenly remembered that that was the truth, that was who he was. A force unable to be hindered by another boy in a titan's body. A soon-to-be father that would raise his soon-to-be family outside of the walls that he had abandoned in ruins.

They bit and tore at each other, rutting together like animals in a heat they knew they weren't having, because Armin was already pregnant and that was the whole damn point. It didn't stop Reiner from filling him fit to bursting, asking obscene questions like: "What's inside you?" "Does it feel good?" "What did I do to you?" and he would get obscene answers in return: "It's your cock, it's inside, it f-feels so good-" "Reiner, Reiner please-" "You knotted me, you put a baby in me, it hurts don't stop don't stop fuck me Reiner please-"

There was something immensely satisfying in the way Reiner was able to turn what may have been the most intelligent soldier in their Corps into a begging puddle of pleasure and basic instinct. He had absolutely nothing to fear from this quivering little omega, but everything to gain. When he came, finally, into a twice-worn and screaming Armin, he bit an ugly, violently purple bruise into the pulse point at the smaller blond's throat.

A message. A warning. Armin was his, and he'd do anything to keep him.

He'd kill anyone to keep him.

\--

In the morning, hours after the sweat and screaming and not love-making but undeniable dirty feral fucking had passed, Reiner woke up to stare at Armin's back. It was bare, just the slightest bit of gold tan tinting the otherwise porcelain complexion, a kind of warm and summery tone in the shadowed room. Armin still had his muscle tone from training, but he'd never really had that much of it to begin with, and it was going soft from weeks of not being allowed near any sort of strenuous activity. Any kind of exercise that Armin did now was limited to stretching and walking about, just to work out the kinks from sitting at a desk all day, hunched over new strategies and important memos.

Well, stretches, and the kind of work out Reiner had just put him through.

The larger blond watched the curve of Armin's shoulder as his omega slept, the slight rise and fall of it comforting him even as horror began to well up inside him. He could see bruises on the other male's slender throat, left by his own teeth in a haze of dominance, and he knew that if he dared lift the blanket he'd find more in the shape of his mouth and his fingers.

He just didn't know what had come over him. He felt like a complete stranger had been with Armin that night, even though he knew it had been him. He knew that if he reached down and pressed his fingers to the marks on Armin's hips, they would match perfectly. Physically, it had been him, but mentally-

Reiner groaned, rolling onto his back. The ceiling whirled up to meet him, shadows cast over the stripped wood as the sun began its slow ascent over the walls. 

He was an alpha. He'd been away from his pregnant omega for far too long. It was bound to happen. He'd gotten a little too possessive for a moment, but he'd make it up to Armin as soon as the other male was up. The poor boy was bound to be sore. 

As if he was able to read Reiner's mind, Armin shifted, rolling over and shuffling forward until he could pillow his head on his mate's chest with a huff. "Mnf."

"Morning," Reiner said in reply, sifting his fingers through Armin's hair. "Feeling alright?"

A low mumble, followed by another whisper of the blanket as Armin nuzzled into his chest. "Mm."

"Is that a yes..?"

There was a beat of silence, and then Armin started to crawl his way up Reiner's body, nosing at his mate's throat and jaw before slumping over him, the roundness of his belly only just becoming pronounced enough to feel against the taut muscle of Reiner's stomach. "You're an animal."

Reiner couldn't help but bark out a husky laugh, the kind that came from his belly and made Armin shake on top of him, the smaller male snuggling down onto his mate and holding on for dear life until Reiner found the control to break off into wheezy chuckles.

"I'm serious!" Armin piped, and Reiner could feel teeth against his jaw- Armin was smiling. "You've never touched me like that before. I liked it."

"You're not as innocent as you like people to think," Reiner hummed, kissing the top of Armin's head. "You should be ashamed for fooling everybody like that." Irony.

"I don't have anything to be ashamed of," Armin answered simply, kissing a line up to Reiner's ear. The larger blond smoothed his hand over his mate's back, tracing over the dip of his spine before coming to rest at the small of his back. "If anyone complains, you could always take care of them."

Reiner let out another laugh, moving his head slightly to give Armin a proper kiss. "So now I'm your hired muscle?"

"I could always get Eren..."

"Nope," Reiner said quickly, smothering Armin in more kisses. He thought that... maybe... they should just avoid having Eren around at all.

Just for a little while.

\--

Bertholdt opened the door to his quarters, saw Armin standing in the hallway, and almost shut the door immediately.

It had been three days since they'd returned back to Wall Rose- three days in which he hadn't seen Reiner or his troublesome omega. He'd considered them three days of something that was almost peace, mostly due to the fact that Reiner was starting to worry him just as much as his mate did. There was something dangerous about the both of them- something he didn't like to think about.

Armin didn't look like he was in the mood for friendly conversation. "Are you busy?"

"No." Bertholdt was thinking, ever so terribly, that he should just kill Armin now and be done with it. No one else was around, no one would suspect. He and Armin had been good friends during their training days- people would think him an unfortunate mourner, instead of a murderer.

He saw the slight rise beneath Armin's shirt, and felt very sick.

"Good," the blond was saying. "Let me in."

Bertholdt was still half considering killing his best friend's mate and unborn child. He hoped Armin didn't smell the fear on him. "We can't discuss it here?"

Armin gave him an unimpressed look, his thick brows furrowed over too-blue eyes. "Bertholdt, please. I know you don't like me anymore, but it's about Reiner."

Bertholdt wondered if Armin knew how capable he was of manipulating everybody to get what he wanted. He suspected that the blond was well-aware, and well-practised. With a sigh, the much taller male stood back, letting Armin into the tiny bedroom he was meant to call his home between missions. Armin strode in, not like he owned the place, but like he was confident that nothing in there would try to hurt him. For such a small guy, he had a lot of confidence. Bertholdt envied him.

The taller male shut the door behind the both of them, enclosing them in one small space. Armin turned to face his once friend, looking him in the eye with an expression that just seemed all too serious on his youthful face. Bertholdt understood that omegas were meant to be meek and a bit ditzy- between Armin and Levi, he was starting to think that wasn't the case at all.

"He's different," Armin said, resting a hand on his stomach. Bertholdt wondered if that kept him grounded. "When he came home, he wasn't himself at all. He was an alpha, a true one, and we both know that isn't Reiner. What happened?"

The brunet licked his lips. "Nothing that I can think of," he said, not being entirely dishonest. Really, Reiner's new aggression seemed to just pop up out of absolutely nowhere. One minute he was reluctant to accept that he'd been responsible for the deaths of countless people, and the next he'd been fully prepared to murder countless more in an attempt to kill Eren Jaeger. "Are you sure he's been acting weird? Maybe it's an alpha thing. He could be a late bloomer."

Armin narrowed his eyes at him. "You're lying to me."

"I- I don't think I am."

"You're lying to me," Armin repeated, now glaring up at Bertholdt with what the taller male could only peg as suspicion. Armin Arlert was onto him, and that almost frightened him more than the possibility that Reiner was starting to splinter. "You're stuttering because you're nervous. You would only be nervous if you had something to hide. I know you, Bertholdt- why don't you tell me the truth?"

"I don't know what the truth is!" Bertholdt insisted, wondering if he could manage it, if he could grab a knife from his drawer and make the threat of this little blond boy go away forever. He'd considered it, time and time again, while they'd been in training; not just killing Armin, but killing all of them, because they were all training to kill him. He was a wolf among sheep who were turning out to just be more wolves beneath a blanket of wool. The only thing he'd had to cling to during those three years of hell was that the wool was set firmly over their eyes at the time. "He's being weird, I know, but I don't know why!"

"I think you know more than you're telling me," Armin pressed, taking a step forward. Bertholdt hated himself for it, but he took a step back.

"I think it must be in the water- you're not acting like yourself either!"

"I am," Armin said, and Bertholdt's back was almost pressed against the door. "I've just never had to use this side of myself on you, Bertholdt. We used to be such good friends. If you know something about Reiner that could hurt him, you need to tell me."

"I have nothing to tell you," Bertholdt returned, putting his hands up in surrender. He was about three seconds away from crying, he was so overwhelmed- the instinct to just throw Armin down and get the fuck out of there was almost too strong to resist. He thought that maybe seeing Armin's hand on his stomach, protecting a life that was half Reiner as well as half Armin, was the only thing stopping him from taking him out. He could feel a scream building in his lungs, feel the tension expanding in his limbs-

They were all so on edge. He could almost understand the way Reiner felt.

Armin looked very cold- nothing like the ray of sunlight Reiner had told Bertholdt he'd fallen in love with. Without another word, just another look of frigid suspicion, Armin wove around Bertholdt (the taller male shivered as though a snake had run over his foot), and left.

Bertholdt collapsed onto the floor in panicked, heaving sobs.

\--

Armin didn't tell Reiner about visiting Bertholdt. Bertholdt didn't tell him, either. The next two weeks were largely uneventful- at least, when it came to things that would have them all fearing a blade at their spines. Armin's belly grew just a little more, becoming a noticeable bump beneath his button-down shirts. He noticed it drawing the attention of most of the room during meetings- oddly enough, Levi seemed to be the most interested in it, but as a fellow omega Armin supposed it was only natural- and he bloomed with a sort of pride instead of bashfulness whenever he noticed someone looking. Other than the morning sickness and bouts of exhaustion, he was the picture of health- the pregnancy was going along smoothly, becoming an oasis of 'at least this much is going well' in the otherwise unpleasant dealings of his life.

Reiner had taken to tracing the bump with his fingers while they rested in bed together, spooning with the larger blond at Armin's back, drinking each other in at twilight and enjoying their bubble of domestic peace. Reiner was frequently asking if Armin could feel the baby moving yet, and Armin was frequently telling him that no, it was much too early for that, be patient.

Eren tried not to mention the baby altogether. Mikasa was sweeter about it, asking him if he'd be alright with her feeling the rise of his stomach (and of course he was, Mikasa was like a sister to him), and asking how he was doing, if he needed something, if Reiner needed a kick in the ass (Eren would tune into the conversation right around then). He told them both everything was fine, no one needed a kick in the ass, everything was perfect.

When Levi cornered him one afternoon, just as he was getting ready to go home, he honestly hadn't expected their conversation to be about babies. The next expedition was coming up, so the answer to a little pinprick of a hole in his plan was on his tongue as he turned, facing the slightly shorter omega-

Only to be cut cleanly off with a "How far along are you?"

Armin snapped his mouth shut with an audible click, and then tried again. "Almost nine weeks, sir."

Levi nodded, staring unabashedly at Armin's stomach. He'd never really been one to beat around the bush. "You're a little big, for nine weeks. I think you should get ready for twins."

The blond stared back at him, confused. "... Sir?"

The look he got in return was almost deadly. "I said: get ready for twins. Or at least one big baby. It's either that, or you were so scrawny in the first place that you look like you're ten weeks along instead of just nine."

Armin nodded, glancing down at his belly in thought. "How do you know-?"

"You think you're the first pregnant omega I've ever seen?" Levi cut him off, glaring at him like a cat in a loud room. "You've got some serious bloating going on, that's what I think. Drink more water, and eat a lot of small meals instead of just three big ones. You got that?"

Armin nodded quickly, still looking a bit confused. "Sir, have you ever been-?"

"Once. I don't want to talk about something like that with you. Just do what I told you to do and try to keep the farting to a minimum."

The blond coloured a bright red, muttering a "thank you" before speeding off, down the corridor and back toward home- after making a quick stop at the market, for fresh fruit.

\--

Armin didn't have to wait long before Levi was on him again, asserting himself as Armin's unofficial midwife while the younger male busied himself about his office. Levi could often be counted on to pop in for inspections, first making sure the room was kept tidy and cozy before fixing his sights on the occupant of the room. Armin would then be badgered about whether or not he'd eaten that day, how much, if he had had water, if he was feeling gassy or constipated (not anymore, ever since Levi had shown him this trick with hot water and lemon), if he needed another sweater, if he thought the baby was doing alright, and so on. It was almost like having a mother around, if mothers tended to swear profusely at the sight of any clutter and hound their pregnant 'child' to keep himself clean or else so help him he'll bring Hanji and their nail pliers in with him next time.

Armin thought this was how Levi showed affection.

Eventually, he learned that it was natural for other omegas to focus in on the needs of one who was expecting, and since there weren't any other omegas around to share the load, Levi was going a little haywire to take on all of the coddling himself. He thought that it might be best if he let his captain do as he pleased, especially after Levi's answer to his half-formed question: "Sir, have you ever been pregnant?"

Though Levi had claimed he didn't want to bring it up with Armin, the full story came spilling out eventually- one unusually relaxed afternoon, while they were cooped up in Armin's office, the usual mess of papers stacked neatly away so they could both take a few minutes to soak up the sunlight coming from Armin's window. They drifted in contented warmth, and for a while, a comfortable silence. They'd grown to be at ease with each other since Levi had taken up the duty of keeping Armin in line, existing in a peaceful almost-friendship. 

Eventually, the older man must have decided that he trusted Armin enough to share the secret of his one pregnancy, because that surprisingly low voice of his broke the silence of that comfortable afternoon.

"It was supposed to be Erwin's," he murmured, and Armin, half asleep and given no other context, knew exactly what he meant.

"We were- not young, I guess. Just younger, and still kind of stupid. He thought the sun shone out of my ass, and I kind of wanted to kill him, but at the same time I felt like there were better reasons to keep him alive than have him dead. This was before we bonded, so that wasn't an issue, but he was so fucking- he was just so sure of himself. Sure that everything he did was the right thing to do, even if it was so damn wrong. He was an asshole, like I was, and I guess that made him kind of attractive to me. The omega thing didn't really help, either- you've seen him. Doesn't get more alpha than that. 

"I noticed him watching me, one day. He was always watching- like I said, to him, I could be nothing but absolute perfection- but this time I could tell he wasn't watching me like I was the soldier who would obliterate the titans in one fell swoop just for the hell of it. He watched me like a teenage boy hanging around outside the brothel, who'd just happened to get a glimpse of the most expensive whore they had, and wouldn't you know she'd just turned and given him a little wink as she went on the arm of some rich stranger. He wanted me. Had to have me. I don't think he really cared about who I was and where I'd come from, but something had just clicked for him. 

"So," Levi continued, stretching his legs out as he settled himself more comfortably in his chair. "I led him on."

"I didn't make it easy for him, that's for fucking sure. I was kind of nasty about it- kicking his ass from here to Sunday in practise fights, turning my nose up at any attempt he made to woo me, dragging him through hell and back to keep me happy and keep him in the center of my attention, blah blah. He was persistent, like I knew he would be, and I was starting to wonder exactly how far he'd go to get a piece of me. But he didn't want a piece of me. He wanted the whole thing.

"When I finally let him into my room, one night, he didn't come at me like some mutt in heat. He was nice to me, of all things, and wouldn't shut up about how special I was, how good I'd look with his ring on my finger, his kid in my belly- you know how alphas are. They say the dumbest things when they're trying to bond." Levi looked toward him for confirmation, and Armin nodded quickly, remembering how Reiner was their first time.

"Right. I didn't go into heat until our third time, so whatever bond we had, it was weak. It drove him and, by extension, everyone else, up the damn wall, because he would be on me like a second shadow, following me around like he was scared I'd trip and fall onto someone else's dick if he took his eyes off of me for one second. I think he was actually afraid that I'd lose interest in him, since I'd put him through his paces trying to win me over, but his fucking puppy love had gotten me for good, and I wasn't planning on leaving him any time soon.

"When I went into heat, he was there with me. He was still so goddamn gentle about it, taking his time, letting me set the pace- I had to bite him a couple of times to get moving, he was being so damn slow about it- but eventually, there it was. We were totally bonded, all cuddled up in that cot- and it was a truly awful one, let me tell you- but we were both kind of stupidly in love right then, for once neither one of us considered consequences or plans of evasion.

"I took pregnant, just from that first heat," Levi sighed, an unhappy one. Armin, with his hands folded over his own growing belly, felt ashamed for something he couldn't help. "I didn't know what to do. We were out in the field, and I'd never had any omegan instincts to speak of; I didn't want a baby. Kids don't like me, not in the way they should. They worshipped me as humanity's strongest, sure, but as a parent? Not even close. I didn't know how to nurture anyone, not even myself, let alone a baby. We were outside the wall when I realized, and I knew- all those days being on horseback, and when we would turn to the 3DMG...

"I think I must have been... five weeks along, when I lost the baby," Levi nodded, having counted up the numbers in his head. Five weeks seemed about right. "Erwin helped me clean up. I felt like I'd failed him, somehow- what kind of an omega miscarries like that? I'd known it was coming, and I didn't do anything to stop it- I really thought he'd finally get a clue and hate me. But he didn't. He was patient, told me it wasn't my fault, we'd try again when I felt ready. I'm not ready. I don't think I ever will be. So," another unhappy sigh, "I guess that's why I've been up your ass all week. Guess there's some omegan instinct in me, after all."

It was quiet once more, but Armin didn't feel comfortable. He imagined losing his baby, so far along and so ready, wanting to be a father where Levi was probably terrified at the idea.

Humanity's Strongest, nearly brought down by something that hadn't developed past the size of a raspberry.

In a moment of uncharacteristic bravery, Armin got up out of his seat, crossed the room, and wrapped his captain up in a hug. The result was something akin to dumping water over a sleeping cat- some spitting, wriggling, and the occasional growl- but Armin knew that if Levi hadn't been hoping for that contact, he could've easily tossed the blond across the room.

So they stood there for a while, embracing, with Levi occasionally mumbling out protest, until eventually the office fell silent once more and they were both enveloped in a bond that could only exist between omegas- a bond of total comfort.

A bond with absolutely no regrets.

\--

Reiner wasn't quite sure what to make of the scent coming off of Armin. The first thought in his head was that it smelled strongly of Captain Levi- but that was ridiculous. No one got that close to Levi without sustaining serious injury.

Eventually, he was forced to dismiss it on the grounds that it was too fucking weird to pursue. He was a little frightened about what he might find to be the source, and besides- with their next expedition coming up within a few days, he had other things to worry about.

He and a few other soldiers were meant to be stationed in a secret location within Wall Rose. This was meant to happen weeks before, but with everything that had gone on and Reiner's refusal to join the first team of soldiers that were meant to be stationed there, they'd been granted recovery time and a chance to organize a new plan of attack. Really, they'd meant to scrap the idea of going altogether, but Mike had gone ahead and taken an elite squad, only to have just returned severely decimated in numbers and without their leader to guide them.

Titans were inside Wall Rose.

"How?" Bertholdt was whispering to him. "Do you think- Annie?"

"No. Not her. We would've heard about her escaping Sina," Reiner muttered gruffly in return, glancing over at where Sasha was trying to calm Connie down- his village had apparently been in the direction titans were coming from. "I don't think they're going to send us out. There's no breach- they've looked everywhere. The titans are getting in without one."

"Getting in, or just... appearing?" 

"I really hope it's not-"

"What are you two gossiping about?"

Reiner jumped back from Bertholdt, wheeling around to face Levi, who had gotten into his maneuver gear for the first time in weeks. His ankle had recovered nicely in time for their latest mission.

"Armin's looking for you," Levi said, nodding toward Reiner. "We're moving out early. Don't you want to say goodbye?"

Tight-lipped and slightly pale, the alpha nodded, scurrying away from his friend and captain in order to seek out his mate. Armin probably wasn't very far- at eleven weeks pregnant, he was certainly starting to take his time getting around, and Levi never strayed too far from the blond when he could help it.

But this time he stayed, if only to give Bertholdt a sharp glance.

"I don't like you," he said, quite plainly. "You stink of sweat, and you're way too clumsy for someone with such high scores from training camp. Something tells me you've got a secret, and if it has anything to do with what's going on right now, there will be hell to pay."

With that, the omega turned on his heel, walking smartly away without so much as a hint of a limp. He was ready to go back in action, healed to perfection and poised to strike even as he settled into conversation with Commander Erwin.

Bertholdt was on the verge of fainting. One by one, Armin seemed to be gaining the most dangerous soldiers on his side: Eren, Mikasa, Reiner, and now even Captain Levi. He couldn't tell if it was good planning, or if Armin just had this personality that immediately had everyone rushing to protect him. Whatever it was, it was starting to become a bit of a problem.

By the time they were deemed ready to move out, the pits of Bertholdt's shirt were soaked through.

\--

Glancing around at their cart, Eren couldn't help but be swamped with the feeling that Armin should be there with them. It was hard, accepting that Armin might never join them on a mission again- by the time he was cleared for duty and the baby was old enough to be left with a sitter, it might be too late. Even then, Eren couldn't be sure that Armin would want to join them- leaving the baby inside the walls, only for him and possibly Reiner to die on the outside was all too similar to what had happened to Armin's own parents. Even though the blond had promised he'd be with them soon, Eren doubted that Armin would be able to step foot in the outside world until it was completely safe.

He couldn't shake the feeling that Reiner and his baby had ruined everything.

"Why do we have a priest with us?" he snapped, tired of stewing in his own misery. "You don't think this mission is going to go that badly, do you?"

"Hm?" Hanji looked up from a rock they'd been playing with throughout their entire trip, and then beamed. "Ah- this is Pastor Nick! He's just here to observe, don't mind him. I found out that he knew about the titans inside the wall- how wild is that? I'm hoping that this little outing will help him change his mind about keeping that secret all to himself."

"He knew?" Eren's teeth snapped together in a snarl, but both Mikasa and Levi leaned forward in a silent threat.

Hanji just waved them all down, even tossing a smile at a very uncomfortable-looking Pastor Nick as they went on to explain the rock they had in their hand, launching into a new discussion about what it could mean if they could unlock the secrets of the wall titans. They wanted Eren to try hardening himself in the same way Annie had, and see if they could use it to patch up any breaches in the walls.

Before Eren knew it, he was agreeing to everything- sure, he could do it. He could use this ability. He could save everyone. He could do it all.

Much to everyone's dismay, Pastor Nick was determined to keep his silence about the titans inside the wall. The only information he could offer was that there was a lost heir- someone who knew more than they thought about the history of the walls. For a moment, Eren's heart leapt into his throat, absolutely convinced that he meant Armin- Armin, whose parents were dead, who had once lived inside Sina when he was just a toddler, who was now kept away from the action and in the clutches of any form of power inside the walls-

He didn't know if he was more relieved or even more distressed when he realized who Pastor Nick was really talking about.

Far away, where it would take much too long to reach them, their key to understanding the walls was in a squad with Reiner Braun.

\--

There had been a night, not entirely unlike this one, when Armin had told Reiner about one of his nightmares. The smaller blond had woken, shaking and slicked with a cold sweat, and by some bizarre instinct Reiner's body had also shot from slumber to quiet the omega's panting breath, nose into his hair and hold the boy close to his chest until the evening was calm once more. Armin was naked and small against him, and the alpha had delighted himself with the task of smoothing his wide hands down the boy's back, gliding along over the silky skin and those tiny little moles that dotted Armin's shoulder blades like the heads of rocks in a slow river.

Armin whispered to him that he'd dreamed of the Colossal Titan.

"I'm scared that one day I'll wake up," he continued, breathless and soft in Reiner's ear, and at the moment the larger male could do nothing but pet his lover's back and listen. "and this will all have been a dream. I'll wake up and be young again, get beat up by those bullies again, and at the end of the day I'll look up at the top of Wall Maria and see that hand clutching at the wall. I'll have to relive all of it- I don't want to. I want to be done with it."

"You are done with it," Reiner promised, feeling vomit churn slightly in his stomach at the fear that made Armin's voice tremble, knowing that in some ways he was tied to that fear. 

"But I'm not. We'll see it again." Armin laughed then, a sound that Reiner usually loved to hear, but the tone was off and it was wrong, like that feeling you would get when you bite down on wool and feel it slide between your teeth. "We have to see it again. Eren won't rest until we see it dead. Reiner, it's going to come back for us. I feel like it knows we survived, and it wants to finish the job. It's human, Reiner- there's someone in there. Who could want that?"

The blond sighed, closing his tawny eyes for a moment. "I don't know," he said, as honestly as he could. He really didn't know anyone who could ever want Armin dead. "There are... very sick people in this world, you know that. The enemy won't always be a titan."

"I wish they were," Armin murmured, snuggling closer to his mate. "I felt safer when they were just titans. Titans are easier to predict. These shifters- they're frightening. No one knows who they are, or why they're doing this. I don't know anything about them, and that scares me."

"Just know that I'll keep you safe from them," Reiner vowed, nosing at his omega's ear with a small hum. It was dark outside, very very late, but he knew that the promise he was making would keep him up for hours to come. "I'm skilled enough to do it. I won't let them come back for you."

Armin sighed, soft and all too sweet in a moment that was so damn bitter. "I know you'll try."

\--

He couldn't find Bertholdt.

That was a bit of a problem. Reiner could usually count on sticking out his hand to one side and immediately finding his taller friend- but to find him missing completely... He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't known exactly where Bertholdt was, what he was doing there, and how long he would be there until he was at Reiner's side once more.

He was starting to get worried.

"Ymir," he murmured, crossing the musky corridor and popping his head into one darkened room of the castle. Narrowed eyes gleamed back at him, belonging to the very girl he'd been calling. Reiner couldn't help but notice that Ymir's own usual companion- Christa- wasn't with her.

"What is it?"

"Bertholdt?" Reiner asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"No idea," was all she said back to him, glancing out of a tiny, crumbling window behind her. She looked a little shifty, but honestly... that wasn't very unusual for her.

"Alright, then. Where's Christa?"

"Upstairs."

"You're not very talkative, this evening," Reiner grumbled, about to turn and go search for his friend elsewhere. If Ymir was going to give him the cold shoulder, he could probably find someone of more use.

"Titans."

That caught his attention. "Huh?"

"Titans," she hissed, jerking her head toward the window she'd just been glancing out of. A soft thud sounded in the distance, like someone had dropped a ball or something similar downstairs-

Only much, much bigger.

His eyes flew wide, almost comically so in contrast with their usual squint. Ymir paid him no mind, still watching out the window with something that almost echoed indecision- like she was trying to make up her mind about sounding the alarm, which was what she should have been doing, they were under attack, Reiner wanted to grab her and shake her for just standing there-

Something very suddenly made sense. Christa, on the roof, would be as safe as possible. Almost like she knew what was coming.

"You bitch," he whispered, almost a growl. Ymir flicked her hand at him, disinterested. "You knew they were coming- why haven't you told anyone?"

"Why haven't you?" she bit back at him, torn between being irritated with his badgering and trying to plan her next course of action. Reiner had no idea what else she could be considering, other than getting her gear and rounding up the other troops- what other option did she have? "If you're so damn worried about it, go tell the superiors."

Reiner snarled at her, forgetting his place for a moment as he dared a single step in her direction. In the next moment, he'd decided it wasn't worth it, and spat in the direction of the female alpha before turning on his heel and shouting a warning.

Chaos ensued.

All of them had taken off their gear for the night, and it would take them much too long to suit up in time to ward off the invasion. No one understood- how could they? They were inside Wall Rose, god dammit. Titans weren't supposed to be here- the case with Mike's squad- how could that be anything but an isolated incident? How were they managing to get in again?!

All the while, Reiner was screaming for Bertholdt. This wasn't part of any plan that he knew of, but it seemed all too convenient for his friend to be missing at a time like this. The smaller titans were already starting to swarm at the wooden doors of the castle, tearing them down like blades through paper, sending up a slew of dust and wet mold as they clumsily wandered into the ground floor, looking for the humans hiding in the ruins. They tumbled over each other, trying to figure out exactly how to maneuver the stone steps, and at one point Reiner missed death by a hair's width as he tried to barricade another set of doors, feeling the hot breath of a titan against his skin and blocky, horrible teeth gnaw at his shoulder. He only just managed to scramble away, urging the others on, pushing them forward and hoping to whatever God existed to torture them that no one would notice the steam curling from the wound.

He didn't think God had heard his hopes in a very, very long time.

\--

Bertholdt was running away. It had gotten to a point where he'd obsessed so much over Armin's visit that he just couldn't bring himself to stand the stress of it anymore, especially with Reiner hanging around him throughout this mission. He couldn't hide it forever, couldn't hide anything forever, and now he was riding on a stolen horse, charging deeper into Wall Rose on a route that would take him to a small apartment that contained his biggest threat.

He'd shift. He'd crush the whole building beneath his foot. He'd knock the wall down, and then he'd escape. If Reiner followed, then fine. He just had to make the destruction of his friend's beloved mate look like an accident. One more secret to keep, until it had chewed away at him to this point once more: the point where he stopped thinking, started doing, and shook off everything.

He listened to the yelling on the horizon, knowing that an army of titans was going to spill over the castle any moment now- if they already hadn't. He'd seen them on his way out, but by then there hadn't been enough time to tell Reiner about the incoming attack. He just had to trust that the warrior side of his friend would be enough to save him, and that eventually he'll know to look in the ruins of their former home in order to track him down. They could live in peace, somehow. Once everyone that stood in the way of their happily ever after was dead, they could finally rest.

Bertholdt felt tears trace a hot, stinging line over his cheek. He urged his horse to go faster, feeling the animal heave with the effort already being put into its pace, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that if he could get away from all of this the tears would stop and the numbness would set in. This panic would rot away, just like the walls would someday, and he'd be free and light and ready to take on the world- alone, if he had to.

He'd be brave.

He'd be happy.

For the first time in years, he'd finally know silence.

His teeth grit together- a dangerous move, when riding horseback- but he was finally at the point where he just couldn't bring himself to care about the little things. Besides, it wasn't as though they wouldn't fix themselves in a short while. They would heal even before he could see the town he was seeking, and then he'd shift past the point of any harm. With the Recon Corps scattered on business, he'd easily overtake Wall Rose- and it wouldn't simply be a decoy town, built specifically to draw the attention of ordinary titans and provide a buffer for the rest of the walls.

No, he'd take it down right from the inside.

And he would take Armin Arlert down with it, just as he should have all those years ago.

\--

Armin, for the first time since Reiner had left, was thinking about baby things. Not just the fact that he was pregnant and would have a baby, but what he would clothe the baby with, what the baby would look like, how it would feel to hold them and play with their little fingers and what their first word would be, if they would be short like him or have Reiner's build, who the baby would take after personality-wise, and other such things. He found himself touching his stomach often, now ten and a half weeks and starting to actually show, instead of just being bloated as Levi had said, and rubbing lightly, staring off into space as he considered all of these yet-to-happen things.

He wanted to dress the baby the same way his parents had kept him- comfortably, in all sorts of different colours that echoed the sights of the outside world they'd wanted to see. He wanted to read them stories he'd read when he was little, and teach them how to read from an early age, though that wouldn't stop him from reading to them himself for as long as the baby would want him to. They were almost certain to have blond hair, but Armin was hoping for wide tawny eyes- like his own, but Reiner's colour. He was also secretly hoping that they would be short like him, if only so he wouldn't have to someday tilt his head back in order to look his child in the eye. He wanted to feel their other father's strength in those tiny fingers as he played with them, letting the baby squeeze one of his own digits in their little grasp in the way babies tended to do, and he wanted to listen to them gurgle with happiness until they could laugh properly, and say 'Dad' or 'Daddy' (he and Reiner had already decided that Armin would be 'Dad', Reiner could take 'Daddy'), and even if they couldn't quite manage those words at first and ended up saying something like 'no', he'd listen to them repeat it forever and ever, just to hear their voice. He'd love them through their tantrums, thinking that they'll some day be smart enough to manage an actual retort (maybe they'll get his wit, with Reiner's sense of humour), and he would love them even through those times when the child would claim that they hated him, because there would be a day when Armin might have to leave his child in the walls to go take back what they'd once had, and he'd miss them terribly.

Armin thought that maybe he was getting a little lonely. He was actually missing a person that he hadn't met yet- or maybe he was just anticipating their arrival a little too much. He knew it was going to hurt, but he couldn't wait to move out of that tiny place he was cooped up in now and have a family with Reiner. Maybe they'd have another baby, maybe they wouldn't- right now he just wanted someone to talk to and love.

He started talking to the little rise of his belly, staring out of the window with a far-away look as he murmured softly to his baby.

"Daddy's going to be home, soon," Armin said, so soft it was almost like it was meant to be a secret. Maybe it was a little crazy of him, but he spoke like he was afraid of startling the tiny thing growing inside him. "I hope he's around to feel you kick for the first time- that won't happen for another five and a half weeks, though. I'm sure he'll be back by then, and he probably won't leave again right away. You're just a little over an inch long- I don't know how much you can move, yet. You'll be getting so much bigger in such a short amount of time."

He sighed softly through his nose, standing up and wandering away from the window to start making supper, still talking to himself but also talking to the baby.

"I feel a little bad, knowing I'm going to bring you out here. It's dangerous. We've been kept pretty cozy so far, but I was out where Daddy is not too long ago, and even beyond that. My parents aren't around to help me anymore, but anything that could take Reiner down... I don't think anything like that exists. Your Daddy's very strong."

He put a small pot of water on to boil, and then set to work on chopping up a small chicken breast and vegetables. Soup. Armin settled into a routine of chopping for a minute, then reaching down to touch his stomach, almost like he was scared that if he didn't check every now and then, the bump would disappear and he'd find himself all alone.

Armin huffed at the thought, called himself ridiculous, and then started to tell the baby about the plans he'd drawn earlier that day- the ones that he wasn't too sure about, but would have to do.

Then Jean Kirstein burst through his door, threw a cloak at him, and told him to get ready to get into a wagon. They were moving out.

Eren was on a rampage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me i am weak for any kind of relationship between armin and levi WEAK i tell you


	4. Chapter 4

Bertholdt walked through the town he was about to destroy. He'd left the horse behind about a mile back- let it roam free, he'd thought to himself. It was better off in the distance, perhaps a little spooked by the distant rumble of chaos but otherwise unharmed, than to be crushed beneath the monster he was about to become.

There was no question about whether or not he'd always been capable of this. Before, he'd known people would die, but he'd taken comfort in telling himself that they didn't die directly by his hand. No, it was the fault of debris from when the wall was smashed in, or it was the fault of the titans that had crawled through the hole to devour stunned prey, or it was the fault of those people for simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He had a mission. He was a warrior- never mind whatever Reiner thought he was. Bertholdt was confident that he was moving in the right direction; the only path available.

The brunet strolled amongst the unsuspecting crowd, even smiling at the women and children he passed, giving a nod to any man that would meet his eye. He was invisible in plain sight- the wolf among the sheep, hidden not behind wool but behind the skin of a boy that looked charmingly clumsy and too dopey to even consider half the things he'd done.

But he had fangs. And though he wouldn't bite directly, he could still rip a hole through the gate and let the pack come flooding in.

And he wanted to see the look on Armin Arlert's face when he realized that for all his knowledge, for all his bragging about being the smartest one in the room, he just hadn't seen Bertholdt coming in time. That was what he was thinking of as he climbed the stairs in that rickety old apartment building, just imagining the look of shock and the feeling of power he would have over the blond- he wouldn't be meek little Bertholdt Hoover. He wouldn't have anything to be scared of any more.

The boy felt a slight pang of regret as he came to Armin's door, remembering that once upon a time he'd even enjoyed the omegas company. Back in their training days, the thought of Armin dying would have sent shivers up his spine; they'd been such good friends. Practically brothers. It hurt to think that they'd both changed so dramatically, or that they'd been hiding enough of each other away that their friendship had been a ruse to both of them, but he didn't really believe it. The happiest days of his life had been spent at training camp, and he wouldn't trade them for the world. He even caught himself wishing sometimes that they'd stayed that young forever, more worried about their scores and the shenanigans of their fellow cadets than who would live to see the next day, and whose bunk would be left cold and empty for the remainder of their rotation.

When he opened the door, Armin's bunk was cold and empty. A pot of half-made soup sat on the stove, chilled now, since it had been abandoned so long ago.

Armin wasn't there.

Bertholdt had missed him.

The boy thought of his best friend's mate, riding out toward the castle he'd just run from, maybe to meet up with Reiner and start an evacuation. Reiner would keep him safe and whole and alive, able to think and speak and tell everyone about how odd Bertholdt had been acting, how it was even more suspicious that he would disappear right when the Colossal Titan struck, how he'd known all along and how now he knew who to point more fingers at, who to torture, who to kill-

Bertholdt slid his teeth over his sweat-slicked palm, and drew blood.

-

"I think this might be one of the first times in the history of the Survey Corps that we've actually chased a titan, instead of running away from it," Jean hollered into the wind, the rush of air from their speed snapping up his words like thin slips of paper as they rode- as fast as they could manage, what with having to take Armin along in a cart to avoid jostling the baby in his womb. Eren was a screaming figure in the distance, towering over the trees and pushing large obstacles aside like they weighed nothing more than dolls. 

Armin laughed, clutching at the wooden seat of the bench on the cart for dear life. This one didn't have a cover on it- he'd be lucky not to get thrown off. "It's pretty stupid, isn't it?"

"Damn stupid," Jean agreed, grinning from his spot across from Armin. He'd agreed to let his horse be taken along by another soldier so he could keep the blond company. "I'd call this an Eren move, but y'know."

"I'll talk him down," the omega assured him, glancing over at where his friend's titan form roared fury, his massive feet causing the earth to shake beneath him as he ran. "Then you can tell him how stupid it is in person."

"I'd appreciate it."

Behind the laughter, Armin was worried. He'd realized the direction Eren was heading in early into their trip- toward the castle Reiner and the others were stationed at. Jean had filled him in as much as possible about what had been discovered, but no one understood why Eren had flown into such a state upon hearing the news (then again, no one really understood why Eren flew into any kind of rage. It was just part of who he was; always angry, always ready to smash heads). The news about Christa's identity hadn't surprised him as much as he should have, but that might have just been clouded by his worry over his mate, which hung over him in thick thunderclouds of anxiety.

He couldn't think like this. 

Every time he would latch onto a certain thought, it would be whipped away in a torrent of wind and fear and Reiner, seeing him at his most vulnerable while Eren was at his most powerful- he didn't like that combination. It had come too close, that afternoon Reiner had ended up in the Female Titan's fist. Back then, he'd only had himself to worry about, thinking he'd bear mourning Reiner for himself in that split second where everything was too bright and too warm and too much like summer for something so terrible. Now he also had the baby on his mind, a baby that would want both of their parents just as badly as Armin wanted both his mate and child. He didn't want to trade one for the other, or lose them both. He had so much to lose, now- when had that happened?

Okay, focus. Christa was important, Christa was the one he needed to think about here-

God, what if Reiner had died between the Female Titan's fingers, and Armin had found out he was pregnant later? He knew it wasn't possible, since his heat had come later that night, and that was when he'd conceived, but God. He'd be alone, carrying a child by himself and getting ready to take on the world alone- even if Mikasa and Eren stood by him, and Jean and everyone else, they just... they wouldn't understand how it felt to lose a mate. Armin didn't even know how it felt, not really, but it drew a knot in his stomach and made his eyes burn with the threat of tears. His hand went instinctively to his stomach, rubbing the little bump there and seeking the comfort that usually came with knowing that there was actually life beneath his fingers.

Jean watched him for a moment, apparently fascinated. "Is that uncomfortable?"

"Hm? Of course not." Armin tried a small smile, giving his belly a soft pat. "A little odd, maybe, but it doesn't hurt or anything. Do you want to feel?"

The other male looked slightly stunned by the offer- really, how many omegas would allow an alpha other than their mate to touch where their unborn child was growing?- but he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. Despite his looks, Armin didn't exactly match with the mannerisms usually found in omegas.

"You won't feel them kick," Armin continued as Jean shuffled closer, reaching out a hand like he was expecting to be told to back off at any second. "It's too early for that. But you can- c'mere."

The blond reached forward, grasping Jean's wrist in those slender fingers and tugging his hand the rest of the way, until his much larger palm was curved against the swell of Armin's belly. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of the omega's breathing, and a firmness that honestly surprised him. There was actually something in there- something growing, something that would live someday.

Jean suddenly realized that deep down, he wanted a child of his own. Maybe it was just the moment short-circuiting his thinking, but he thought that it would be wonderful if he could feel his own baby like this, safe inside a mate he was madly in love with.

Armin was grinning at him, like he completely understood. "It's powerful, even though it's so little, isn't it?"

He laughed, breathy and still far away. He was a little entranced even as he pulled his hand away, smiling at Armin as he nodded. "Yeah... You could probably stop an army with that thing."

Armin looked off toward the distance, where Eren was running toward the dark smudge on the horizon that was the ruined castle. "That's what I'm hoping for."

\--

Reiner saw Eren at about the same time Eren saw him and the other members of their squad, huddled on the roof and hoping that the castle would hold long enough for help to come. The furious Rogue Titan wasn't exactly what they'd been hoping for, but the blond supposed there were worse things that could've- oh shit, they were on the tower.

He watched in horror as those thick blunt fingers dragged at the crumbling stone, finding purchase in the worn rock for a few moments before the titans trying to climb were sent back toward the ground in a shower of debris. Combined with the booming thunder of Eren's footsteps, it was all the troops could do not to just clap their hands over their ears and pretend it all wasn't happening, grinding their teeth as the tower shuddered and groaned beneath the titans' assault.

Eren wasn't having any of it. He lunged forward, gripping the titans by the backs of their necks and ripping the flesh apart with his fingers in the same way they had torn at the castle. Steam exploded into the night as the other titans turned, entering a scrap in which Eren roared his power over as he slammed himself into his enemies, splitting them limb from limb and sinking his teeth into their napes for the final blow. It made Reiner's stomach turn over, and he could hear the retching of other soldiers as the sick thud of skin tearing ripped into the night, and horses screamed and someone else, someone was cheering-

He almost toppled over the goddamn wall in his haste to get to the edge, wide-eyed in disbelief as he took in the sight of Armin standing unprotected on top of a wagon, hands in the air in a triumphant scream as his childhood friend annihilated the titans set on killing all of them.

There was a yank at his collar- Ymir- and the next thing he knew there were teeth in his face as the girl snarled. "You really wanna die in front of him, idiot?! Stay away from the edge!"

After recovering from his shock, Reiner growled back and shoved at her, rising up to his full height as Eren raged behind him. "You knew about this before anyone else! Why didn't you sound the alarm?"

"I wasn't on lookout- wasn't my business."

"You got Christa out of the way!"

"Wouldn't you do the same?"

"We could've all died because of you-"

"I wouldn't have let that happen."

Reiner rumbled a low, warning growl at the back of his throat. "You seem to be pretty confident in your abilities, considering you were about as prepared as the rest of us."

Ymir shrugged, and for a moment Reiner seriously considered slapping that infamous smirk right off her face. "I have some tricks up my sleeve."

"What about in your blood?" the blond probed, voice slinking a little lower, so as not to be overheard. Eren was finishing off the last few titans, picking them off like a dog set loose on nothing more threatening than a couple of rabbits.

Ymir's gaze hardened, and the smirk disappeared. Reiner retracted that thought about wanting it off her face- it was much easier to look her in the eye while it was still there. "Why don't you go mind your own business and run to your little omega."

Then she turned sharply, cutting him one last glare as she padded to Christa's side, one arm slung possessively over those thin little shoulders as she whispered something into the blonde girl's ear.

Reiner watched for a moment, then huffed, starting the trek down to the ground level of the castle so he could go make sure Armin was alright. It would seem he wasn't the only one harbouring a secret, here.

Eren didn't look happy to see him. Reiner wasn't really surprised, but he still shivered as those massive green eyes watched him, something akin to suspicion glowing in their depths as the titan sat himself down next to Armin's cart. Jean and Mikasa stood on Armin's other side, forming a guard around the omega as Erwin set about checking the troops for reports, with Levi at his heels like an intimidating little shadow. Every now and then the captain would turn his head back toward Armin and his entourage, like he was itching to join it himself after his duties had been completed.

"Looks like I'm not your only hired muscle," Reiner commented as he neared his mate, reaching forward to tangle their fingers together and breathing a low, satisfied him when Armin squeezed his hand.

"It's good to have a back-up plan." Armin grinned at him, and Reiner noticed that his eyes were a little pink around the edges. "Are you alright? No injuries, no-"

"Where is Bertholdt Hoover?" Levi called toward them, his eyes as sharp as torn steel even at this distance. 

Armin looked a little startled, and then glanced up at Reiner in question.

Without thinking about it, Reiner bowed his head, eyes closed as if in grief.

"Oh, love-"

"I saw it with my own eyes," the larger blond confirmed, voice thick and eyes fluttering quickly to ward off tears. Armin moved forward to embrace him, and he gripped his mate as tightly as he dared with their baby between them, burying his nose in cornsilk hair. "He'd gone out for a walk- he was... he was running when they caught him. I was too far away to help."

Jean made a pained sound, shaking his head as though his refusal to accept it would make it untrue. And really, it wasn't true, but Reiner was running on what his gut told him was the right move. He didn't think Bertholdt would turn up any time soon- something was very wrong.

"I guess a training rank won't keep anybody safe," Mikasa said, also bowing her head in respect for her fallen comrade. "He was a good man. A strong soldier."

Reiner felt his gut twist with the irony of that statement. "He was my best friend. That's what I'll remember him as."

For the first time in what felt like a long time, Reiner wasn't lying.

\--

Dust choked the air, whisked into the throats of civilians in ragged breaths as they all ran for cover, some crushed by the debris before they could even register the monster tearing down their wall. Giant chunks of stone came down from their towering guard, crushing men, women, and children with indifference as more of Wall Rose crumbled, as more air was sucked past with the swing of the Colossal Titan's foot, as the buildings shrieked and groaned along with the people they'd once sheltered in the blood-slicked streets.

The titan's hands ripped at the wall like it was made of paper, helping along with the destruction caused by his kicks. His fingers sank into the stone, feeling it ripple apart beneath the tips as he added more pressure, literally tearing into the wall and dragging its innards out, like he was devouring it and God he hated it, he'd see it all come down if he didn't know he had to make a swift exit.

Below him, unheard and unseen, a woman screeched from beneath a boulder that pinned her middle. A second one came down, and the sound cut off with a wet thud.

A child, plain-looking and severely lacking in access to the titans' power, watched his mother die in a hopeless parody of Eren Jaeger's past. 

A third boulder came down, and the boy crumpled into a smear of red and white splinters of bone.

Bertholdt kicked at the wall, and fit one massive knee through it. He wasn't aiming for a little hole this time, big enough for titans to fit through- no. He wanted the entire damn thing to come down, even if it meant he had to wear his flesh down to the bone. The wall didn't come apart as easily as it had when it was just the gate he'd destroyed- no, this was some other material, something he could only tear off in patches-

Frustrated, Bertholdt pulled himself away from the wall and then surged back, using his massive shoulders to split the wall from base to top.

Enough. That would have to be enough.

The boy inside the monster smiled- a feral, terrible thing that just didn't belong on his naturally dopey face- before smoke started to billow out from the Colossal Titan's body. Down below, there was a set of Maneuver Gear and enough supplies to at least last him until he could find shelter outside the walls.

Finally, he was going home.

\--

"You could've been home," Reiner would murmur later, his voice trembling as he nosed at Armin's hair, kissed his cheeks, his lips, pressed shaking hands to the small bump on his stomach. "You could've been home-"

"I wasn't," Armin told him, trying to cup Reiner's face in his hands to soothe him, but his mate wouldn't have it. He just shook the smaller blond's hands away, and continued his kissing and murmuring and nosing. "I wasn't, okay? I'm here, I came to see you-"

"You almost didn't," Reiner mumbled. His lips felt numb and heavy. "You weren't supposed to be there, God-"

Armin probably thought that he was so shaken up over that near miss, the possibility that would've been his reality if Eren hadn't gone on that rampage, if Armin hadn't been the first one called to soothe him. Eren was now stationed at the breach, waiting out the night while workers frantically tried to piece together the hole that the Colossal titan had made. While there weren't any massive boulders on hand this time, there was debris from the buildings and chunks of the wall itself, able to form a makeshift barricade just long enough for an expedition to begin in the morning to find something more suitable for the repairs.

Reiner wouldn't be going with them, not for a long time. He was too busy thinking about what could have been, and what was.

Bertholdt had shifted here for a reason. Armin's building had been reduced to nothing but dust and broken timber, most of it blown to ash from the heat of the Colossal Titan's transformation. The alpha didn't need to take a stab in the dark to know which room Bertholdt had been in, but he was still having the most painful time trying to consume the knowledge and make sense of it.

His best friend- the boy he'd grown up with, his partner in the darkest times of their lives- had tried to snuff out one of the only lights he had left.

Tears flowed thickly down his face, ugly and shameful, but Armin took to kissing his cheeks this time around to try and at least get him to breathe. Reiner shook his head like a child throwing a tantrum, huffing through his nose and pulling his mate tighter into the circle of his arms, smothering his heaving sobs into the blond's little shoulder and trying, trying to follow Bertholdt's train of thought.

He knew he'd seen Armin as a threat, but God. Armin was- Armin was his mate! Armin was his pregnant goddamn love of his life and then this- this was-

It felt like his heart had just collapsed in on itself, sinking back into a cavity that he hadn't even known existed and becoming a black tumour in his chest. This was more than betrayal, and more than heartbreak. This was a catastrophe. This was life-changing devastation- no; a murder in which the victim lived to feel that pain, to touch the scars every day and know why they were there and who had given them to them.

"I can't imagine you dead," Reiner lied, because he could, he could and that was partly why it hurt so bad. He could imagine coming home and finding that home wasn't there, that Armin wasn't there, and there wouldn't be any more bashful smiles or wide blue eyes or ruffled blond hair in the morning or the small rise of forming life in his mate's belly. He could imagine it all so well that it actually scared him a little bit, and he sniffed disgustingly against Armin's throat. The omega took it all in stride, holding his alpha close and for once doing the gentling. 

Eventually, Levi came to pry them away from each other. He was on Reiner like a shot, snarling up at the alpha's face in a way that almost had the larger male stumbling back, weak from his emotional purge and all too familiar with Levi's form of enforcing authority. "You're sure the Hoover bastard is dead? Absolutely wiped off this Earth?"

Reiner looked taken aback, and almost forgot to lie. "Yes- yes, sir, h-he's- He's gone."

Levi narrowed his eyes at him, fingers already curled as though he was preparing to grab Reiner by the front of his shirt and flip him. The captain was aware of Armin's protests, but there was work to be taken care of. "So help you, Braun, you'd better be right. If that scrawny shitlick comes up on my radar after this, I'm coming after you."

"Captain," Armin tried, a little more familiar in the art of soothing Levi. "He's telling the truth- just look at him."

The dark-haired omega didn't spare a glance in Armin's direction. "I'm looking at him."

"Can't you see he's telling the truth?"

"Can't you see he's just as capable of lying as you are?"

Armin flushed a dark pink, either from indignation or embarrassment because as much as he loathed to admit it, Levi had a point. They'd all been under suspicion since the Female Titan had turned out to be one of their own. Reiner was no exception. "Yes, sir."

"Good." Levi's eyes flashed as he turned, bringing his cloak around him to ward off the slight chill in the air. Winter was coming with frost-tipped canines, and they were all starting to feel the bite of autumn. "Meet me first thing in the morning. We'll talk about what to do with you. I have to go see Erwin."

He walked stiffly. Armin remembered how his heat would come early in times of stress.

"It's not me," Reiner murmured, almost startling the smaller blond. "Armin, you know I couldn't do something like this."

"I know," he returned softly, reaching for his mate's hand. He squeezed the larger male's palm, feeling that it was cold and a little clammy in his grasp. "I know you couldn't. Just help me find a place to rest for the night, okay? And lie down with me. You need it just as bad as I do."

Reiner had no choice but to follow, tugged along by Armin's grasp as the couple waded through the misery pooling in the atmosphere. This attack would leave a scar on this land forever- one that would match the one marring Reiner's being. It would take a long time to heal, but he didn't know if a full recovery could ever be possible for these people.

Deep inside, the warrior slumbered.

\--

"It's a false alarm," Levi insisted, his arms folded beneath his chin as he laid himself out, naked, on Erwin's bed. The alpha hummed his acknowledgment, also stripped down to nothing, but as of that moment the scent of Levi's heat was only a faint spice to the air. They were both totally unaroused- something that was common, given the way they lived. "There's no heat, Erwin. It's not coming."

"I never said I didn't believe you." The blond reached out with one hand, smoothing his thick fingers through the soft, inky blackness of Levi's hair. "You can still stay the night. You never sleep with me, anymore."

"I don't remember you being this clingy," the omega muttered, but he shifted closer to his mate anyway, huffing out a sigh as he moved his head to Erwin's broad chest. "We shouldn't be doing this. We should be out there."

"We should be resting for our mission tomorrow," Erwin corrected, kissing the top of Levi's head. The omega grumbled, though deep down he was secretly pleased with the affection. It was just hard to indulge in while his mind was occupied with the thoughts of what hell awaited them outside. 

Levi let out a worn yawn, rolling his muscled shoulders back and stretching out his toes. The blanket scratched at his bare skin, old and cheap and rarely used, but he didn't mind it. He actually found it oddly comforting. "... Arlert could've bit it, today."

"He could have," Erwin agreed. "But he didn't. I know that's bothering you."

"It's not."

Erwin hummed, and rattled on. "He's starting to show, isn't he?"

Levi felt a small sense of foreboding, but he didn't nip the subject in the bud quite yet. "It looks that way, yeah. Soon the little bastard child's going to be stirring up his insides."

The alpha snorted a soft, quick laugh through his nose. "And you insist you're no poet," he teased, smiling at Levi and god dammit, it wasn't right, it was horribly strained, there was too much bad and not enough good for them to live in this moment.

"Stop trying to lighten the mood, you idiot. You never do that. What's the matter with you?"

Erwin's brows furrowed, like he didn't quite know either. When he spoke, however, it was clear and honest. "I was wondering what I would have done, if you were in Armin's place."

Levi groaned, trying to roll away from his mate. Erwin held him tightly to his chest, effectively trapping him in a comfortless snuggle. "Don't start this shit, Erwin. It's too late for that. We have things to do."

"I mean it," the blond continued, nosing at the omega's ear. "If you were that close to death-"

"I wouldn't get that close." Levi was glaring at him, daring him to continue.

Erwin dared.

"If you were that close to death, pregnant or not, I'd be upset."

"But you wish I was pregnant."

"Sometimes I do."

Levi's face softened in defeat, and he ended up resting his sharp chin against Erwin's collar. The larger male held him close, pulling the blankets up around them as if there was any hope of finding a good night's rest.

"I can't, Erwin."

"You can," the blond murmured, uncharacteristically quiet, now. "I won't make you, I know you don't want to, but I can't help but want this, Levi."

"I have a job. Humanity's Strongest can't get knocked up."

"You hate it when they call you that," Erwin pointed out.

"Doesn't mean it's not true."

Both men fell silent, one staring up at the ceiling while the other's gaze was met with the flat slab of Erwin's pillow. Levi thought about being pregnant again, trying to remember what it had been like for the short time that he'd known, before.

It had been awful. He'd felt cornered, like an animal caught in a trap. Only with freedom, with the loss of what couldn't even be called their baby yet, came no relief.

"I can't, Erwin," he whispered again, closing his eyes.

He'd always been good at making himself go to sleep within moments, having trained himself to do so while on the streets and again while he was a cadet, but he still managed to catch Erwin's soft, consistent answer. The only one he knew to give.

"I know."

\--

By some miracle, they managed to prevent Wall Rose from falling.

Armin almost didn't dare believe it. There were nights when he'd stay wide awake, staring out the window of his new home (bigger than the last, but older and draftier), and he could see the ghostly-pale rim of the wall towering over the horizon. He could also see what it would look like if four dark towers of fingers curved over the top, crushing the wall into what would look like fine powder from this distance but would most definitely be debris the size of carts at the smallest, and he could remember the screaming in his home town as the people he'd grown up with were slaughtered around him. The people here would scream like that too- he didn't doubt it.

The Colossal Titan would look at him with malicious, beady eyes, and Armin knew that the monster would see him, even if he hid beneath the scratchy blankets that were supposed to chase away the cold when Reiner wasn't there. The Colossal Titan would rip through the wall like a rabid dog through frail tissue to get at him, just like he had tried before, but Armin had been away and God how lucky was he but also how miserably doomed was he? The location of the Colossal Titan's shift was evidence enough: the shifter wanted him dead. Wanted him obliterated. Humanity's worst enemy now seemed to have the prime goal of turning him into a wet smear in the dirt, and just the thought of being faced with that thing again made his teeth chatter.

The blond kicked the blankets restlessly, and then turned onto his side. One hand went to his stomach, resting over his baby and starting to rub- something he did when he was feeling upset. He had to remain calm. Anxiety wasn't good for the baby. If he stressed himself out so much, he might...

Well, he didn't want to think about it.

His thoughts turned to Levi, and the slight hint of heat scent that he'd caught on the other omega earlier. Since that day there hadn't been any other sign of it, which made Armin wonder how he and Erwin were holding up. Levi wouldn't discuss it while there was so much else to take care of, and the commander was as dedicated to his job as ever, but Armin could see a tension between them that hadn't existed before. Maybe Erwin had asked to try again for a baby, and Levi had refused? It seemed like a reasonable guess. It wasn't the most pleasant of scenarios, but Armin knew the couple would pull through it, just as they always had.

It wasn't the worst thing they'd gone through together.

Armin turned onto his other side, still rubbing at his belly as he wiggled further beneath the blanket. It was old and uncomfortable, but without Reiner (who was kind of a living furnace, as Armin always called him) it was all he had. His mate was out seeing to the sealing of the wall, which was being carried out with Eren's help; the plan had been to pile all the rubble left from the wall's destruction and make a makeshift barrier to ward off titans for as long as possible while the real repairs took place. Soldiers had been drafted on both sides of the wall to help prevent any interference, as well as keep an eye out for any suspicious figures that might turn out to be the Colossal or Armored Titan.

As far as Armin knew, everything was as quiet as could possibly be. He hated not being out there, seeing the progress with his own eyes, but his decisions weren't his own consequences anymore. He was now 13 weeks along, which was about three months, and while he was thankful that it marked the last week of his first trimester and would signal the wane of his morning sickness, but his chest was feeling a bit tender as his body prepared to start producing milk, and he wasn't much looking forward to that at all. He'd already had to make a few adjustments to his wardrobe to accommodate his bump, and from the rate it was growing, it looked like he was going to have to start taking Levi's prediction of twins seriously. He didn't know if the idea excited him or scared the hell out of him, but he supposed he would just have to wait it out and see where the future took him. The most he could do was eat right, do small exercises, work hard, and hope for the best.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Armin sat straight up in bed, the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up as the room echoed with the gunshot of the door slamming against the wall as the hulking figure lumbered into the room, dripping cold rain over the floor as it cursed and muttered and- 

"Oh," Armin breathed, allowing himself to relax when he realized that it wasn't a titan come to claim him. Well- not at the moment, anyway. "Eren."

"Shit- hey, Armin." The brunet stopped his complaining about the cold and the door long enough to give his friend a smile, kicking off his boots so he could pad across the floor and perch himself on the edge of Armin's bed. "Did I scare you?"

"Only a little," Armin admitted, reaching off to the side for a smaller blanket so he could start to dry Eren off. The shifter sighed pleasantly as his hair was scrubbed at, making a low hum deep in his chest that reminded Armin of a dog getting a nice scratch behind the ears. "Are they done for the night?" He wanted to know if Reiner was coming home, soon.

"Hm? No. They just sent me away because I kept getting in everybody's way. Captain Levi threatened to brain me if I didn't go lie down somewhere where I couldn't hurt anybody."

"How thoughtful of him," Armin muttered dryly, though he couldn't say he was too surprised. He started drying off the back of Eren's neck, instructing the other male to take off his jacket and toss it out of the way. He'd done this a time or two before- back when it was just them and Mikasa, looking out for each other when they were still to young to even look after themselves. He wondered if that would prepare him for parenting. 

"Yeah, he means well. He's got Reiner by the balls, though- giving him all the really hard physical tasks."

Again, Armin couldn't say he was surprised. "I'm sure Reiner can handle it. I'm making him take leave soon, anyway. That'll give him plenty of time to rest."

"He needs it," Eren murmured, shaking his head. Even though he wasn't as fond of Reiner as he used to be, everyone was feeling his loss. First Bertholdt, and then the apparent attempt on Armin's life- it was hard not to feel sorry for the guy. "How are you holding up, anyway?" he wondered, craning his neck to try and get a proper look at the blond. He saw the omega's stomach first, and then arched his eyebrows. "It always looks bigger than the last time I saw it."

Armin snorted, throwing the blanket away and pulling Eren down so they could curl up together, just like they had when they were kids. He pillowed his head on the alpha's chest, secretly taking advantage of the shifter's warmth and nuzzling into his friend's embrace. "It is bigger. It grows, Eren. It's supposed to."

"Don't get smart with me." A tanned finger reached out and poked Armin's nose. "You know what I mean. I can't decide if it's because you're so little, or if the baby is going to be big."

"Levi says he thinks there's two," Armin murmured, secretive. He hadn't told Reiner, yet- he didn't think he wanted to get his mate's hopes up like that. 

"Levi also probably thinks the other one's a shitbaby from being constipated, or something like that." In the darkness, Armin could see Eren roll his eyes. "I wouldn't count on a guy like that for baby advice."

Armin was quiet for a moment, and then, as lovingly as he possibly could, he punched Eren in the arm. The older male jumped with a squawk, jostling Armin slightly as he tried to deal with his now sore limb. 

"Why the fuck would you do that?! I came here because I didn't want to get beat up!"

"I'm only doing what Mikasa would do in this situation," Armin sniffed, tucking his head back against Eren's chest.

"You're not Mikasa!"

"Doesn't mean you didn't deserve it." The omega waved his hand, trying to get Eren to quiet down. "Go to sleep."

"You're mean when you're pregnant," Eren huffed, but he shut right up when Armin threatened to do it again. They slept without further disruption until dawn, when Reiner came in and caused a small commotion when he'd tried to flop down next to Armin and landed on Eren instead.

It was about as close to peace as they'd come to since their training days.

\--

Armin miscarried a week later. At fourteen weeks in, the process was painful, and threatened his life for quite some time. Reiner had rushed him to Hanji- the first person he could think to see- at the first sign of bleeding, worrying over his mate and their unborn child for every slow, agonizing second of his stay in the infirmary.

"It doesn't happen this late," he mumbled to Jean late one evening, still refusing to abandon his post outside Armin's room. The little blond had been working through cramps and nausea that put his heat to shame, and every now and then that thin, breaking scream of his would seep through the walls. "They told us that after six weeks, we'd be safe."

Jean just gave him a helpless look. He'd been sent to go keep Reiner company, since he no longer had Bertholdt to fall back on. Levi had chased Eren and Mikasa off a few hours earlier before ducking into Armin's room himself, and somehow the fit of tortured shrieking Armin had been in fell swiftly silent. Reiner only knew by the occasional yell and loud whimper that his mate was even still alive.

"I can't lose them both," Reiner went on, scrubbing a hand over his face and feeling his eyes burn. He didn't have any more tears left to cry, but he still felt the ache of wanting to. "If they have to, I want them to save him instead- but I can't lose both of them. Not with everything that's happened."

"He's stronger than he looks," Jean offered, wincing as another scream pierced the air, followed by what sounded like Levi barking orders. "He'll pull through."

More hours passed, and though Jean had to go see to his own duties, Reiner stayed behind. His face was buried in his hands when Levi came out, looking worn and like someone had spit directly into his open mouth. "I'm going to tell you what happened, and you're going to take it out here so you don't upset him. You got that?"

Reiner didn't take his hands away from his face, but he nodded. Levi wasn't having it. 

"Fucking look at me when I'm speaking to you, or so help me God-"

"Fine!" Reiner's head snapped up, tawny eyes narrowed in a glare at his superior. "Fine, I'm looking at you. Just tell me."

Levi looked like he wanted nothing more than to tell Reiner to forget it and let him suffer, but he knew that Armin would want to see him as soon as possible, and if the alpha was going to freak out it was better that he didn't do it near the blond. 

"He miscarried," he said bluntly, glaring straight down at Reiner's face as he said it. The reaction wasn't nearly as dramatic as he'd been expecting- Reiner had been coping with that for nearly four days, now. "He's recovering, now- he managed to pass the tissue a little while ago. He's tired and kind of sickly looking. Don't smother him."

Reiner nodded along with it, a lump tight in his throat. He just wanted to be given permission to go see Armin.

"One more thing you should know," Levi continued.

The alpha waited.

"It was twins. The other one is still hanging on."

It was like a punch in the gut. Reiner visibly started, taken aback because that meant- that meant-

"You're going to get your little bastard after all," Levi finished, jerking his head toward the door to the infirmary to let Reiner know he was allowed in. Without waiting for the younger male's response, the captain started to pad swiftly down the corridor, ready to update Erwin on Armin's status.

Reiner watched him go, stunned, before he managed to get up and stumble toward the smooth oak door.

Armin had been given his own private room to recover in, complete with a window and a soft white bed so he could have his rest. Doctors were still milling about, clearing away red-stained sheets and looking tired yet pleased with themselves. After all, they'd only lost one baby- the other would continue to grow and develop into a fine, healthy child. The omega was on his back, clutching a pillow to his chest as he gazed up at the ceiling with blank eyes, and if Reiner hadn't been told he would be fine beforehand he would've feared that Armin was dead.

"I kept one," his mate whispered, turning his head slightly so he could see Reiner better. His hair was limp and dirty, eyes glossed over and skin sickly pale from blood loss and exhaustion. "We still have one. They told me. I don't know if you-"

"I know," Reiner murmured, pulling up a chair next to Armin's bed. It was odd, seeing a man his size try to be so delicate so as not to disturb his mate. "You're both going to be just fine."

"They said it happens, sometimes. You lose one, but the other one makes it. No deformities, health problems, handicaps- just a normal, healthy baby." Armin sniffled, but Reiner could see that he didn't have any tears left, either. "It just usually doesn't happen, this late. But with my heats, and everything that's been going on- I wouldn't be surprised if they found out there was something wrong with me, down there."

"Hey," Reiner soothed, reaching up with one hand to smooth his thumb over Armin's cheek, right over the purple bruises those sleepless nights had left under his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you. This happens. I just want you to get some rest for now, alright? We can talk more about it, later."

"I can't sleep," Armin whispered back to him, holding the pillow more tightly. "I'm scared."

"You have to," Reiner pushed gently, repeating the slow, warm strokes of his thumb. "C'mon, baby. You need to get your health back."

Eventually, Armin had to agree with him. The smaller blond's eyes drooped, heavy with the four days of stress he'd been through. He slept for a full ten hours, woke only to eat and go to the bathroom, and then slept some more. During the periods in which Armin was deeply asleep, Reiner hunted down the commander, aware of Levi's gaze on him as he requested leave for an undetermined amount of time. It was given to him without question, and for some reason Reiner thought he could see a sad understanding in Erwin's eyes.

Perhaps just a trick of the light.

\--

After losing one of the twins, Armin's bump shrank. He still looked pregnant, but not quite as much as he had the week before. Really, if he stood a certain way and wore a big shirt, you might not be able to tell at all.

The blond took to cleaning their new home, once he was released from the hospital. The house they'd been given had been abandoned by a family wishing to travel deeper into the walls, so it was a little larger than what he was used to and much more put together. There was even a nursery for a baby to sleep in, which he immediately decided he wanted to fix up and paint at the nearest possible time. With Reiner taking time away from the Corps, it would be a lot easier to get work down, and it would help the both of them cope with the bittersweet loss they'd suffered.

Some nights, Armin would get up and go sit on the porch, just to have some time by himself so he could grieve for what he'd lost. He tried not to think about who that baby would have become, instead focusing on the one he had left, and how lucky they were not to have lost them both.

Yeah. Lucky.

Reiner had it in his head that he would paint the nursery blue, and build a small above-ground well in the middle of it to put river fish in as pets. Armin thought it would just be easier to get a cat, but Reiner insisted that if Armin couldn't go out and see the ocean with the other soldiers, he'd bring the next best thing into their home.

Armin still found that he wanted a cat or a dog to curl up with, so Reiner decided they might as well get those, too. Anything Armin wanted, he would have it.

Eren and Mikasa stopped by for visits, commenting on how (disgustingly, in Eren's opinion) domestic everything was. The two were working like a real adult couple to make their dream home, even though the both of them were still in their teens. 

Jokes about a wedding in the near future were made, and Reiner decided that they might as well have one of those, too. They'd almost had to drag Eren off of him when he suggested it, the smaller alpha intent on clawing out Reiner's throat for taking it seriously, but Armin waved them both down and said he wasn't making that decision quite yet and they'd both have to settle down before Mikasa broke someone.

Levi, Erwin, and Hanji were also frequent visitors. Levi would make an inspection of the house, making sure everything was clean and in top condition before any real socializing could begin, and then Erwin would load the table in the kitchen with maps and reports to discuss with Armin. Hanji would jump in too, bringing up new theories about titans with the omega and talking animatedly about something they'd seen just beyond the walls the other day, while scouting on their own (Levi let them have an earful for that), and Armin would nod along and pitch in while Reiner listened intently, wondering if there had been any signs of another shifter in the area.

There hadn't. Bertholdt was gone.

As Armin's morning sickness disappeared and he fully recovered from his miscarriage, the little blond's sex drive came back with a ferocious appetite. They'd christened every room in their new home, on every available surface- sometimes multiple times, when Reiner thought he could handle it. He was usually the one that had to tap out after a certain point, and Armin would whine and plead until he decided that he was feeling a little more hungry than horny now and maybe a break wasn't such a bad idea.

He was 16 and a half weeks pregnant, now, and absolutely glowing. Reiner often found himself stopping to admire his mate, proud of him for taking on so much and still being able to stand tall at the end of the day, even when the pregnancy made his back ache and Reiner had to work the knots out of him before the other male could consider doing anything productive. Armin would still find nights to push him down into the bed, climbing on top of him and smiling like he was about to do something wicked- and most of the time he was, but sometimes they made love slowly and kissed like they were beyond their age, aware of how fast the world was spinning and the importance of taking a moment to appreciate a pause. Armin was thinking about building their home inside the skeleton of their house and fleshing it out with memories and a happiness that couldn't exist outside, resting a hand over his belly as he thought about what kind of mural would be best for the nursery and how comfortable it would be to fit two people in the claw-footed tub in the master bathroom.

Reiner was thinking about rings. 

\--

Of all people, Armin had never expected to have Levi in his bed. The blond went rigid when the bed dipped on his other side, facing away from the silent intruder- and really, they were as quiet as the grave, so he knew it wasn't his heavy-footed mate, and even hearing the low voice he'd grown accustomed to mumble a greeting did little to comfort him in this situation.

"Captain," he murmured, not quite sure if he dared to turn around. "I don't think this is standard proto-"

"Shut up, Arlert." There was a deep huff, followed by the shift of blankets as Levi crawled into bed with the other omega. He wasted no time in sidling right up to his- what were they? Friends? Whatever they were, it was a relationship comfortable enough that Levi didn't see any shame in pressing his forehead between Armin's shoulder blades, sighing as though the other male was a living, breathing painkiller.

Armin allowed another moment to pass in quiet, and then tried a different approach. "Something wrong, sir?"

"No," Levi muttered, pulling the blanket up to his nose, so it draped over Armin a little more snugly. "I thought I told you to be quiet."

"I'm curious. Wouldn't you be?"

"No. I know when to keep my mouth shut."

"But you also know better than to give up," Armin countered, thinking to himself that it was a little difficult to hold this conversation with the tip of his captain's nose poking into his back. 

"Armin," it was one of the rare times that Levi actually used his first name, and that was when the blond realized it was serious. "I just need you, right now."

Armin hesitated for a moment, then nodded. He and Levi had developed a bond that omegas typically used to calm each other in the absence of an alpha, or when an alpha was the cause of stress in the first place. The older male was probably just drinking in some of those calming pheromones, right now- taking advantage of nature's bounty to get some much-needed rest.

But, just as Armin had thought he might, Levi broke the silence only a few minutes later.

"We're heading out, soon. Braun's leave is over. The plan is not to stop until we reach Shiganshina."

"But that isn't what's bothering you," the taller of the two concluded, and he was rewarded with a tired sigh.

"No. Erwin wants to try for a baby."

This also wasn't news to Armin. However, the timing for yet another plea for children couldn't be worse- and it meant only one thing. Erwin was worried that one of them wouldn't make it home, which meant that he wasn't confident in his own plan (the ones Armin had consulted on, had slaved over for hours with his commander to make sure Reiner would be in the most strategic and safe position, and he felt awful for it but now that he really thought about it he hadn't considered Levi's safety at all), and now he was trying to get the dark-haired omega to stay home and out of the way. Erwin Smith was willing to ground Humanity's Strongest at HQ in order to save his mate while going out on their most important expedition, and that-

Well, it just didn't make any sense.

"He's never thought this way before," Levi said, just a soft whisper from beneath the blanket. "This is the first time I've seen him actually worry. It's not right."

Armin frowned, nodding along with the assessment. "He must have something else up his sleeve. A plan he knows you won't like. What did you tell him?"

There was a snort. "I told him there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell, of course. I'm not going to get left behind while other people die out there. I'm not of use to anyone if I'm twiddling my thumbs inside the walls, waiting to pop out a brat that might not even see its father come home- sorry," Levi added quickly. He'd learned to deal with a little more tact when it came to Armin.

"No, I know." The blond shifted around, jostling Levi slightly so they could face each other. The older male wasn't having it, however, and ended up nosing into Armin's chest, inhaling deeply in order to stifle a yawn. Armin supposed it would do, and cautiously wound his arms around his captain, offering whatever comfort their omegan bond could provide. "I'm better at a desk. I'm a thinker, not a fighter."

"You're a soldier," Levi responded immediately, eyes closed. His voice rumbled against Armin's chest, strong even when the man himself was half asleep, and he was reminded of the cat he and Reiner were supposed to adopt. Maybe it would keep him company, while he mated for his mate to come home.

"A strategist," he tried to correct, but Levi was stubborn.

"We're all soldiers," the captain growled. "And if you ever dare disrespect your rank again, I'll have you discharged."

\--

The day they left for Shiganshina, the heavens opened up and blessed their trip with thick droplets of rain. It was soft- not like the stinging, pointed rain they usually had this time of year- and it churned the mud beneath their boots and beneath their horses until the streets were a mess of brown-slicked cobblestone. Levi muttered curses under his breath, clambering onto his horse as soon as he was allowed, and ignored Hanji's cheering as they tipped their head back and tasted the water that fell upon them. The whole area had been cast in a gray tone, but spirits were high and the morale was through the roof, soaring above the walls they would soon exit as the Recon Corps readied itself for another expedition- the one that would be their key to solving the secret of the titans.

The plan was to make one straight shot to Shiganshina, travelling light to ensure maximum speed and avoiding titans or detours at all costs. Skilled hunters had been brought on to provide food while the Corps was on the run, with Sasha acting as one of the guides that would keep them on track with the soldiers. The brunette could now be seen with Jean at her side, giving her new mate a rather passionate smooch as they prepared to part ways.

Hanji wiggled their eyebrows at Levi, puckering their lips in a teasing manner, and the captain snarled quietly before trotting his horse forward to talk to Erwin.

"If we don't leave soon, Hanji won't make it out of the gate."

The blond's lips twitched, soothing Levi's irritation for a moment as the alpha chuckled his amusement. "Just sit tight for another minute or so. Soon you won't even know they're there."

"Impossible." Levi didn't smile, but his gaze did soften for a moment, reminding Erwin that his mate was someone who could be seen as ageless at any given time. When he relaxed a little, if only just for a moment, it took a few of those uncertain years off of his face.

"You should be in position," Erwin reminded him, and suddenly the scowl was back.

"I am in position."

"Levi-"

"Fine," the omega huffed immediately, shuffling his horse back a bit so he could get turned around. He didn't look happy about taking a more sheltered position, once again forced back into Eren's guard when it had clearly been proven that it would only hinder him, but orders were orders. When he was the only one left alive thanks to Erwin's sudden bout of overprotectiveness, he'd have the last word.

He managed to catch Armin, Reiner, Eren and Mikasa exchanging their goodbyes. Armin was twenty weeks pregnant now, and it most certainly showed; the poor boy was just ballooning at the waist, even though they knew he was only carrying one baby in there. Each of his friends had a hand on the blond's stomach, frowning with their palms pressed expectantly against the bump and looking a little less like the fearless, serious soldiers than they were meant to be.

"I don't feel anything," Eren finally said, the crease between his eyebrows deeper than usual as he pulled his hand away in frustration. Mikasa nodded along with him, agreeing that she couldn't feel the baby move either, though she offered a gentle pat before retracting her own hand.

Reiner smiled softly at his mate, shaking his head before he too took his hand back. "Sorry, baby."

Armin looked dangerously close to pouting. "I swear! I can feel them- it's like something's fluttering inside me."

"Gross." That was Levi, making his presence known as he settled into his designated spot in the formation. "If you're all done feeling each other up, I need the three of you to get into your places- and Arlert, get the fuck out of the rain."

"Thanks, Captain." Armin rolled his eyes- actually rolled his eyes, that little shit was going to get it when Levi came home- and gave Reiner a swift peck on the lips. Levi thought he caught the words 'be safe, I love you', but they were just bare murmurs. The true pain of this parting would no doubt hit them later; maybe that night, when they were forced to sleep on their own for the first time in what felt like years.

Levi didn't know that feeling. His mate was always at his side, and vice versa- and he would be damned if Erwin ever tried to change that again.

As Armin scurried to find an awning to protect himself from the downpour, the gates groaned open. The entirety of the Corps could hear Erwin's cry to advance, and it made Levi sit a little straighter with pride that such a power was shared with him, and left vulnerable at his feet when they found rest together. Whoever said omegas weren't just as possessive as their alphas had either been a terrible liar, or heartbreakingly stupid.

Levi dug his heels into his horse's sides, snapped his reins, and started to lead his own troop forward. His eyes settled on Erwin's cape as it licked behind him, the Wings of Freedom fluttering even under the assault of fat rain. He followed those wings, and knew he was exactly where he was meant to be.

\--

Everyone saw the trees from miles away. They scraped the skies like titans themselves, even though Reiner could remember them being tall enough to even challenge the Colossal Titan's height, growing thickly together and looking so odd considering they were in an area that had once been populated by humans. It didn't seem right that something so monstrous could exist among beings so tiny, for them to pass them every day and see them as something normal-

Ah. Irony.

He shook the thought away, focusing instead on the way Armin's belly had felt beneath his palm. He'd tried his hardest to feel those little fluttering sensations his mate kept telling him about, but he supposed it was a little too soon for that- a couple more weeks, Armin had assured him. Then he'd feel the baby kick.

If he made it home in time.

If he even made it home at all.

Again, it was the wrong path to follow. The blond glanced around at his fellow soldiers, giving the occasional smile to them when he caught one looking nervous, always the guy you could count on for support and encouragement. He hadn't earned his title as the big brother of the 104th squad for nothing. Even though some of these people were much older than him, it was nice to know he could offer some kind of reassurance. God only knew they could use it.

Except, when the titans came for them, remembering a friendly face wouldn't be any help at all.

Reiner glanced ahead, where Levi was riding at breakneck speed alongside Eren. The younger male was stiff, obviously remembering what had happened the last time they'd entered that forest, but Levi was as unreadable as ever, like the past hadn't even touched him. Reiner envied him for his ability to live in that moment, and move on without grief- a skill he gladly would have given anything for after Bertholdt made his escape.

He was so consumed by it, by that need to focus on the present and leave the past at rest, that he didn't notice the aberrant until it was directly upon him. It was fast, and almost catlike in the way it moved- fluid and wrong for creatures that were usually so awkward. Such was this titan's grace that it's approach was silent, calculating, until it had the opportunity to snatch Reiner from his horse and drag him down- only sparking alarm when the horse screamed.

And by then, it was too late.

\--

Levi had never wanted to enter that forest again. It had been a promise he'd made to himself, something he'd intended on keeping- that even if Erwin's plans showed that there was no other route, he'd find a way. He'd find his own way, if he had to.

He did not want to be in that forest. He did not want to remember, to be haunted, to feel that kind of pain again.

But life is rarely fair, and Levi found himself galloping at full speed between the trees against which his closest friends had been slaughtered, and he had no choice but to suck it up and keep moving forward. Screams erupted to his far left, and a smoke flare exploded horizontally in the chaos that was no doubt taking place in a group far off, where they weren't supposed to be, because the plan this time had been to stick together.

Stay close, just as Erwin had whispered to him the night before. And stay safe.

Fate just loved to screw them over, it seemed.

More screaming, and then Eren was yelling at him. He wanted to shift, and for a moment Levi considered saying fuck it and letting the kid have his way, but they had to keep moving. There was no ambush laying ahead, no Hanji and their nets to save them this time.

Just keep going.

"CAPTAIN-"

Keep moving.

"PLEASE-"

Just go faster.

"GOD DAMN IT LEVI DON'T YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN-"

The screams came from ahead this time, and Levi swore. He abandoned his horse, launching himself into the trees he despised with the gear he treasured, and wove between the branches like the wind through the leaves. He was fast, scouting ahead and counting up the bodies as he went, trying to figure out where the threat was and who was in the most danger. Sasha's group of hunters was still moving forward, now with the direction of Jean as his survival tactics started kicking into gear. They would be alright.

He'd only just come to this conclusion when the trees in front of him exploded into loose timber and chewed splinters, the yellow flesh flying forward in deadly arrows that split his skin and drew red to the surface. Levi clenched his teeth together, his (fortunately whole) eyes trying to sort through the wreckage in order to figure out just what had brought this fresh hell on-

-and he found it, he found the face of the Armored Titan, leering out of the woods at him with a mouth caked with blood.

\--

Erwin had fallen in love with Levi's grace, at first. The man always seemed to move with a purpose, like he was still in the streets and slinking through the dead of night in order to chase down his next meal, his next kill, his next theft- whatever it took to survive. Levi had been a hunter of the city, trained to be aware of his body in order to make it blend seamlessly into his surroundings.

Even now, Erwin could see the almost ethereal grace that had drawn him in. The omega seemed to float amongst the trees, swords drawn and his clothes ripped and bloodied, but his expression had faded from one of rage and perfect determination to an almost comical look of shock. He was suspended for a moment, a human turned angel as sunlight filtered through the trees and shone upon him, his cape fluttering in what felt like slow motion as hunter and prey looked at each other.

And then the Armored Titan lunged, and Levi just seemed to topple, defeated, into its mouth.

Things sped up, then.

Somewhere, Eren Jaeger was screaming fury. The echoing force of his shift made the trees bend, but even then it wasn't enough. The Armored Titan held fast, unbothered, and silver and more crimson flashed between his teeth as Levi tried to cut his way out from the inside.

A hand pushed out, still so pale even through the gore that covered the flesh.

The Armored Titan chewed, sending the hand spinning down to Earth on its own, and then swallowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit i hope you guys werent expecting this to be all fluff


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few notes: listen to 'call your name' from the attack on titan OST during the pyre scene  
> listen to 'my immortal' for the goddamn rest of it idk

Erwin called for retreat.

Eren ignored him.

The titan shifter was seething with rage. His vision was red, blurred a sickly purple-black around the corners and he knew it wasn't good, but Levi's pale hand was on the ground like a lily blooming from mud and nothing could ever be good again. He felt the iron snake of fury coil itself around his belly and he knew this was it, he was going to kill the Armored Titan and avenge his captain, avenge his mother, his friends, his city- everyone. He wasn't going to let him get away again- not after he'd already gotten away with so much.

Except the Armored Titan was doing something strange, something that made the snake coil even tighter and made his mouth taste like metal. The monster's massive, packed shoulders buckled and heave, mouth aimed downwards as he stooped, almost like he was going to-

A large blob of oily red-orange stomach acid plopped at the base of the tree, and inside was Levi, laying unnaturally still and looking like a little doll someone had left behind after a long day at the park. His body was a churned mess along his spine and down his hips, one hand gone and one leg crushed into paste, but his face was whole, his dark bangs plastered over those strange eyes of his. Eren couldn't tell if they were opened or close, and he was so consumed by hoping that he was just unconscious that he almost missed the plume of smoke erupting from the gaps in the Armored Titan's flesh, signalling that it was much too late.

By the time that Eren managed to grip the titan's body in his hands and start to tear him apart, it was just a shell. The real menace was out there somewhere, waiting in the trees. He let out a furious roar, ready to advance and bring the whole forest down if he had to, but Mikasa was at his nape- tearing him out so they could pick up and go home.

"Reiner's dead," she murmured to him, dragging Eren's body from the smoking heat of his titan. "Someone saw him get taken off his horse, earlier. We have to go tell Armin."

Eren hadn't been inside the titan long enough to have been touched with the daze of the feral creature. He was still lucid enough to see Erwin touch ground, stumbling toward the sick mess where his mate's body lay. They were going to need a cart.

"Reiner's dead," Mikasa said again, pretending that she couldn't hear the howling sobs of a man who had just lost a part of himself he'd once thought invincible. "Someone-"

"I heard you," Eren cut her off. "God, is Captain Levi really-"

"It sounds like it." She lowered her head, resting it on his shoulder. Behind her, Eren could see Erwin digging through the stomach acid to drag Levi from it, cradling the ruined little body in his arms and smoothing the wet hair back from his terribly whole face.

Eren saw that Levi's eyes were open.

\--

They found Reiner on a cart, smeared with blood and wrestling with hastily-applied bandages, but very much alive.

"Dante saved me," he said breathlessly, chest heaving as though he'd run a marathon. By the amount of blood that slicked his features, Eren guessed that he might be feeling dizzy. "He killed the titan and brought me back to safety. Is he-"

"They ate his legs and threw the rest of him into a tree," Mikasa said, quite blankly. "They're wrapping his body up, right now."

Reiner's expression fell flat, and his breathing steadied for a moment. "Ah."

Eren sighed, letting his face fall into his hands. They were packing up to go home as quickly as they could, abandoning the mission with their tails between their legs. He had a feeling this wasn't what Levi would have wanted, but then again the captain had always insisted that he hated unnecessary death-

How necessary was yours? Eren wondered, looking toward the red and white mass of sheets that had been wrapped around Levi's mangled body. Someone had cleaned his face- Hanji, he thought- and Erwin had insisted on taking a post next to the body, holding Levi's head in his lap and framing his dead mate's face in his hands. The blond hadn't cried any real tears yet, but his face looked more lined and aged than it had before, likely because he'd spent the past few minutes screaming orders to get everyone moving before settling down next to Levi to grieve.

Someone had closed his eyes.

Eren felt sick, and he had to look away. Even though they'd found Reiner alive, it would still be hard to tell Armin about Levi. Everyone was feeling the captain's death, mourning their losses as they packed up and trying to move forward, but the gears were starting to stick in places. Humanity's Strongest had been killed only partway through their most important mission, and Eren, Humanity's Last Hope, couldn't even kill the titan that had done it.

What did they have left to believe in?

He felt like hitting himself in the face. They had everything left to believe in- more reasons to fight than he could count. If they didn't fight, they didn't win, and if they didn't win, they would all die. He thought about Armin, waiting at home with a baby on the way- Reiner almost hadn't come home. Levi wasn't coming home. If they all gave up now, Armin would be left all alone, and he knew what it would do to him- what it had almost done to him back in Trost, when he'd thought he was the lone survivor of their squad.

Armin was someone living to fight for, and that was all Eren needed at the moment. He didn't have his usual spark then, didn't feel like he could take on the world and win it back- but he could save one person.

Hanji had climbed up onto the cart next to Erwin, it seemed, gazing down at their friend's face while thick tears dribbled down their face, which was crumpled and red with the effort of holding back a scream. It wouldn't do, not now- not when Levi couldn't wake up and tell them to shut up, and make everything okay. For some reason, it made Eren's heart break even more, and he had to look away and scrub furiously at his eyes, feeling his chest start to heave.

"He's going to get his own pyre," Mikasa said softly, her own expression drawn in a kind of faint sorrow. She had to hold it together, even if no one else would. "I can't imagine Erwin letting them lose his bones."

"He wouldn't want it," Eren spat, bringing his knees up to his chest. "He just wanted to be a soldier. He didn't want to be special."

Reiner cautiously rested a hand on the other alpha's shoulder, and all three of them looked pained beyond any of their years. "Eren," he murmured, those tawny eyes of his screwed up as he swallowed the bitter urge to either cry or vomit. "I'm sorry."

Eren violently shook his head, then launched himself into Reiner's arms, breaking down against the larger male's shoulder while Mikasa wrapped herself around him from behind, making him feel if only the tiniest bit soothed. Reiner's heavy paw rested on her back, offering her comfort since she was too busy trying to do the same for Eren to worry about herself.

The warrior was sleeping. He'd had his fill of blood for the day, and with one of his greatest threats out of the way, he was ready to have a rest and let the soldier clean up his mess.

\--

When Armin heard that the gates were opening, he'd almost dropped the groceries he'd been holding in a panic. The gates shouldn't be opening, because no one should be coming through them- the Survey Corps wouldn't be back unless something terrible had happened, something so devastating that it wasn't worth reaching Shiganshina.

His mind jumped to Reiner, and he was running.

The carts came through at a snails pace, bearing shell-shocked troops and those too injured to move on their own. Others rode horseback, their formation long forgotten as they just focused on making it up the street to the shelter of their quarters, ready to retire after what Armin was quickly seeing as a long day of worthless devastation.

"Reiner," he whispered to himself, one hand over his stomach as he got up on the tips of his toes, trying to see if he could spot his mate. Worry twisted sluggishly in his gut, bubbling at the back of his throat like some thick, black thing that was trying to push his way out. He could taste its venom on his tongue, but he had to keep himself calm. Reiner might still be alive. He had to stay calm for the baby's sake.

A cart rolled through the gate, and when Armin saw Mikasa, Eren and Reiner all huddled together on it, he almost broke down right there. As it was, he held out long enough to climb aboard and take his mate's face in his hands, breathing quickly and shallowly as he searched the other male's expression and did a count- all limbs intact, just some bleeding and bandages, it looked like, good, good oh God there was that smile weak but still there-

He kissed Reiner over and over and over again, almost angry with himself for getting so worked up. Everyone was fine.

So why were Mikasa and Eren giving him that look..?

"Guys," he sighed, feeling relief flood through him as he wrapped his arms around the both of them. His belly made it a little difficult, but he held them as tight as he could anyway, one head on each shoulder as he drank in their warmth. "You made it. Why'd you turn around?"

"The Armored Titan was in the forest of giant trees," Eren whispered into his ear. "There was an ambush. Listen, Armin-"

Armin wasn't paying attention. He was looking at something on the cart behind them.

"Captain Levi- the Armored Titan came out of nowhere-"

He could see dark hair, and pale skin. The bundle being partly propped in Erwin's lap was so small, smaller than him even- it didn't make any sense.

"Eren," he breathed, feeling the tears start to well up again even though the rest of him was quite numb. "What is that?"

Eren and Mikasa both turned their heads, and then reached to grab him. Armin was already gone, on the ground and running to hop into the cart, ending up next to Erwin and Hanji.

"That's impossible," Armin said, his voice hoarse and breaking. "Is he sleeping?"

Erwin wouldn't look at him- more specifically, wouldn't look at the bump swelling beneath the front of Armin's shirt. "No."

Hanji shook their head, wrapping an arm around Armin's shoulders. "Armin, there was nothing any of us could do-"

"He should've stayed with me," the blond said, shaking his head. He'd tied his hair back that day- just the top bit of it, just for something new. It seemed so insignificant, now. While he'd been messing around with his hair, Levi had been dying. "I told him he should go."

"He would've come no matter what you said to him," Erwin sighed, looking older than Armin had ever seen him. His fingers carefully traced Levi's cold cheeks, knowing that soon they would be in the flames, and he'd never touch him again. "Nothing any of us could do."

"Please tell me you're not going to start acting like that," Hanji burst in, giving Erwin a worried, although absolutely fierce, look. "He'd hate it."

Erwin just shook his head. "Give me time."

Armin was very suddenly starting to feel how real the situation actually was. Pain hit him in the chest so hard he almost couldn't breathe, but he still could, it must be so, because he cried so hard he was almost sick with it, remembering Levi's warmth at his back as the two of them shared the comfort of their omegan bond- their friendship. 

Inside him, the baby gave its first solid kick.

\--

Armin knew he couldn't stare at that fire forever. He'd go blind. He had to look away.

Levi's body burned like used paper in front of him. His eyes had opened again sometime between the cart and the pyre, as they usually did on corpses unless someone could glue them shut, but they'd long been destroyed by the flames as they licked hungrily over the soldiers that had been living and breathing only that morning. Hanji had pushed Erwin until he agreed to have Levi's body cremated with everyone else's, telling him it was the only way his spirit would rest easily, and we just couldn't have his ghost hanging over us for the rest of eternity, can we, Erwin?

After that, it had been much harder to convince the alpha to let him go. The tall blond now stood at Armin's side, watching the fire with dull eyes, a vial in his hand. He was keeping an eye on Levi's body so he could collect some of his ashes and bone fragments, after the fire had glutted itself to satisfaction and died, so he could bring a part of Levi into the free world.

Erwin didn't know how he was holding himself so well together. He could see Jean out of the corner of his eye, wiping tears furiously away as he clung to Sasha, the pair of them remembering the friend they'd watched burn before this. Eren and Mikasa were on Armin's other side, and so was Reiner, the mated pair both keeping a hand over their baby. Erwin had heard early on that it was starting to kick properly.

He tried to be happy for them.

He closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself once more, but the corners of his eyes were already wet again. He let the tears fall, relieved that they were coming instead of just standing there in dumb shock, feeling nothing except feeling bad for not crying.

When he opened his eyes again, Mike was staring at him.

The commander stiffened, glancing at his missing friend through the tips of the tongues of flame. The other blond looked sombre, one hand over his heart while the other was fixed solidly behind his back in the perfect salute. Others stood out in the shadows left by the fire, outlined in gold and shimmering in their perfection, standing quietly in the spaces allowed to them by their grieving comrades, looking into the fire with determination setting their features.

Erwin looked around him in awe, the tears on his face burning in the heat of the flames, but he couldn't afford to wipe them away now. It felt like the action would break this spell he was under, and he'd lose the image of Petra standing next to Gunther, Eld, Oluo-

A short figure stood directly in front of Erwin, his back to the other male. Erwin could still see that he was standing in a perfect salute, and the hand behind his back was there and perfectly wonderfully whole.

Levi turned slightly, bathed in the glow of the fire and shining like the new dawn around the edges. It almost hurt to look, to stare, but Erwin couldn't and didn't want to turn away.

"So," Levi said, and his voice was as dry and as strong as it had been in life. "What will you do now?"

A girl stood next to him, one with straight black hair that was tied back in what Erwin remembered was called a french braid. She was about Levi's height, and when she turned he saw that her features were as sharp as his, but her eyes were a vivid cornflower blue. The child they'd lost.

He struggled to find his voice for a moment, and then:

"Kick some ass, I suppose."

Levi smiled. So did their daughter. They were almost identical, except for her blue eyes and thicker eyebrows.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you."

\--

Armin probably could have gone on lying to himself for a little while longer, if it hadn't been for the bandages. They were at home now, ready to settle down to bed after stripping off their clothes, which released gentle wafts of smoke scent between every fold. Armin wanted to take a bath and scrub the smell from his skin until he was raw, but there was Reiner to consider, who hadn't even been cleaned up or had his dressings changed since he got home.

"Let me," the smaller of the two said, reaching out to start on the gauze wound messily around Reiner's head. There was blood all over his face and down his neck- dried now, and staining his face a pale burgundy in some places. "I can run the water for a little bit, and I'll give you some new-"

Reiner backed away from him like his mate had brandished a torch instead of a caring hand. "No, thank you- I can... I can handle it myself."

"Are you hiding something from me? Is it bad?" Armin pouted slightly, noticing that Reiner was tense and hoping to ease that a little bit, if only so he could see what the damage was. "Come on, Reiner, I won't take you to the infirmary unless you absolutely need to."

"I'm not worried about going to the infirmary." He took another step away, shaking his head before patting his bandages back into place. "It's just- it's sore."

Armin huffed. Now really wasn't the time to start complaining. "Would you just sit still for a minute so I can help you? It's going to get infected."

"I told you, I can do it myself!" Reiner stood straight up, rising out of his slouch and into his full height. His shoulders were broad and a little hunched, flexing with thick muscles that gathered beneath his skin, and his teeth and eyes were set with the classic ferocity of an alpha who felt threatened.

For the first time since he'd been with Reiner, Armin was scared of him.

He started to back down slowly, tears pricking in his eyes that he just didn't want to acknowledge. His head lowered, body compressing on itself to make himself feel smaller, look at me, I'm not a threat, don't hurt me- but of course Reiner wouldn't hurt him! He wouldn't, he was just tired and angry and sore, he'd clear up in a second, he wouldn't hurt the baby-

Reiner seemed to realize his mistake at the same time he realized he was growling. 

"Oh, shit," he murmured, lowering back down into a less imposing (if that was even impossible, being his size) figure, opening his palms to Armin to show that he meant him no harm. "Baby, I'm sorry."

Armin shook his head, unwilling to go near him. "No. Fuck you. You don't get to call me 'baby' after what you just- Reiner, do you know what you just did?"

The larger blond grimaced, taking a step forward only to have Armin scramble back, one hand going to his stomach as if to- as if to protect it from him, God that hurt. That hurt more than anything. "I'm sorry," he said again, head low, his voice soft. "I didn't mean it, you know that. I don't know what I was thinking."

And that was the thing- he really didn't. How could he ever snarl at Armin like that? What was even happening to him?

Armin looked him over warily, feeling the baby kick lightly against his palm as they reacted to his stress. Reiner really did look sorry about it, washed-out silver in the moonlight and looking absolutely pathetic as he tried to fit his bulky frame into a stance that went against his alpha genetics in every way. Some of the bandages had slipped from around his head, drooping sadly over one amber eye as he lowered his face, and Armin thought to himself that he was getting a little shaggy and was in need of a bit of a trim-

Wait.

The omega narrowed his eyes, not quite sure what he was seeing, for a moment. Reiner took it as suspicion, and almost whimpered with his next apology. 

"I'm really sorry, baby," he tried, his poor bleeding-

(there wasn't any bleeding there was no wound)

\- heart on his sleeve.

Armin swallowed thickly, then nodded.

No wound. None of the blood was his. 

That's what he was hiding. Reiner was hiding nothing, because there was no wound, because it had already healed- no, he was getting way too ahead of himself, that couldn't be-

What had Levi said to him, back when Bertholdt had died-?

(not confirmed dead, no body, only missing, and then the Colossal Titan)

"... Just come to bed when you're done," he whispered, turning away from his mate and heading toward their bedroom, their nice soft bedroom that they had slept in together, made love in.

He closed the door behind him, pressing his back against it before sliding down to the floor- just needing a moment to sit there and breathe, and try to find some kind of flaw, something that would tell him he was making all of this up because he was scared.

"... I think your Daddy's a monster," he said, very softly to his unborn child- their unborn child. Just as much part Reiner as they were part him. 

Armin brought his hands up to his face and stifled a sob.

\--

He was 23 weeks pregnant. With the swelling of his ankles came more days spent with his feet propped on a pillow ever-so-lovingly provided by his mate, sighing as the cool air swirled around him and soothed the ache starting to build in his joints, but also waved down an arousal that had been building to an impossible fever lately. He'd shut down all sex after the night of Levi's pyre, telling Reiner he just wasn't feeling it when they could both smell the need on him, but his mate had assumed he was still mad about their confrontation a couple of weeks before. The alpha had taken to running out and bringing in the last few bouquets of the season, leaving them around the house for Armin to find and damn near breaking his heart.

How could this man, the one that brought him lilies in bed and offered to rub the ache in his feet away, be the same creature that had destroyed Wall Maria all those years ago? Armin had taken to wondering where that side of Reiner went- where the killer slept while the lover catered to his every whim and need- because he knew for sure, now. He'd never forget the face of the Armored Titan, never forget the way he moved, and the way Reiner had moved during training, how reports told him Reiner had been MIA for a short while during the Armored Titan's attack, how Levi had always been at him, badgering both Reiner and Bertholdt about their whereabouts and always keeping a sharp eye on the two.

Armin groaned, burying his face in his hands. His feet were on that little pillow, the rest of him settled comfortably on a little sofa Reiner had stuffed himself, building a home for them when not too long ago he'd destroyed Armin's old one.

He tried not to think about Reiner being responsible for his grandfather's death. Or Levi's. It made him feel sick.

One comfort that he had was that Mikasa and Eren had increased their visits, curling around him like cats whenever they came to stay for the night. Reiner would quietly take the couch on these occasions, still kicking himself for getting his guard up like that around Armin. He hadn't told his friends about that, but he was sure they sensed it- they were two alphas, after all, and they instinctively had their hackles up around Reiner as soon as they stepped through that door.

The aforementioned door opened right at that moment, and Armin looked up to see Eren and Mikasa strolling on in like they owned the place, making room for themselves on the sofa before adjusting Armin so he fit comfortably in their laps.

"Armin, you're huge!"

"Eren," Mikasa started, her motherly voice seeping through. "Be nice."

"I was being nice," the boy huffed, smoothing his fingers through Armin's hair. It was starting to get thicker, and shinier- something he was told tended to happen around this stage of pregnancy. "Or at least, I didn't mean to sound insulting."

"It's fine," Armin hummed, holding one of Mikasa's hands when she extended it to him. The other went to his belly, her palm soft as she felt the baby wiggle around slightly, trying to settle after Armin had been moved into a new position. They gave a solid kick against her hand, and her smile just about had Armin melting, forgetting to worry for the first time in days.

"I'm starting to think you're just visiting the baby, and not me," he teased her, and she just squeezed his hand.

"I can actually see him move, just a little," she said fondly. The baby had apparently decided that her voice was nice enough to fall asleep to, because they settled down after a moment in what Armin had come to recognize as resting. Like a nap. 

"Gross," Eren commented dryly, though he was also a little starstruck by the baby, and everyone knew it. He petted Armin's hair some more, smoothing his long bangs back like he was checking for a fever. "Feelin' okay?"

Armin heaved a deep breath, then blew it out. "Sore," he admitted. "Tired, a little cranky sometimes- it's to be expected."

He didn't have to tell them that there were other factors involved, other than just the symptoms of pregnancy itself. With the more evidence he found against Reiner, the more sleep he lost. One of humanity's greatest threats had slept beside him at night, held him and whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and he'd never once suspected it.

"You're staying hydrated, right?" Mikasa pressed, giving him one of her signature looks. "Eating well?"

The blond smiled tiredly at her. "Yes, mom."

She reached out and flicked his ear in return, then got him to sit up in Eren's lap a little, because she wanted to press her ear to his stomach.

He wished everything could stay like that forever.

\--

Armin let Reiner touch him again the next day. It had been a long couple of weeks, and although the new information he'd learned about the Armored Titan (who wasn't his Reiner, he'd decided, so he wouldn't associate the two even in his mind) screamed to keep the alpha at bay long enough to get to Commander Erwin-

But...

They'd kill him. Without a doubt, they'd put Reiner to death. Armin just wanted to put it off, and keep his mate as close as possible- he couldn't hurt anyone when he was with him, right? If Armin could stave off his arrest long enough to come up with a convincing argument about why they had to let Reiner live, then everything would be fine. As fine as it could be.

He was sitting on the bed, his feet propped on the pillow while his upper half leaned against the headrest. There was a book in his hands, but he just couldn't manage to get past the first line on that page, so after running over the words a few dozen times with no further progress he just decided to say to hell with it, and turned toward the alpha lying next to him.

A murderer in his bed.

"Reiner," Armin said softly, like he couldn't see that the other male was wide awake. At first, the larger blond looked confused- could Armin really be talking to him after that frigid silence?- but he turned his head anyway out of blind hope.

"Hm?"

"The baby's moving," Armin whispered. "Come feel."

The way Reiner lit up put another sword in Armin's heart. He scooted sideways, then down a little, just enough so he could prop himself up on his elbow next to the curve of Armin's belly. The hand that wasn't supporting him went to the bump, eager to touch-

But then he hesitated.

"Why now?" Tawny eyes flicked up to meet forget-me-not blues, and Armin just shook his head.

"I'm tired of fighting. I don't want to fight." I think you might be the Armored Titan, and I can't keep it to myself forever. I just want one more good memory before they kill you. "Please."

Reiner gave him a sad, sad smile, and gently put his hand on Armin's stomach. With his fingers and his palms, the hand almost covered the plane of the bump completely- so bizarrely huge compared to someone so small. Armin bet that if Reiner could still be around when the baby was born, he could fit them in the palm of one hand.

"Ah," the alpha breathed, grinning as he felt a tiny little fist nudge against his hand. The baby had taken to somersaulting, lately- something Armin didn't think he'd ever get used to. They were probably upside-down, at the moment. "They're a little fighter already."

"Like their Daddy," Armin murmured, forcing a smile to curl over his face. He felt absolutely exhausted.

Reiner shifted, pressing his lips to the peak of Armin's belly. "Your Dad's being modest," he cooed, kissing outline of one little foot as the baby reacted to his voice. "He's just as much of a soldier as I am."

At that, Armin broke. He heaved one strained, dry sob before bursting into tears, trying to choke them down with one hand pressed firmly to his mouth. Reiner panicked, looking up sharply and trying to pull Armin's hand away, get him to tell him what was wrong-

"Nothing," Armin gasped, shaking his head as Reiner fussed over him. "Just- hormones- God-"

Hormones, and the decision he'd just made. In a week from now, when he'd had time to settle his affairs and get everything in order, he was going to see Erwin Smith. And he was going to have to pray to every God he could think of that somehow, despite how he knew it was against humanity's best interests and the court would see it that way at first, they would not kill Reiner Braun.

\--

There had been a time when Armin had felt like sex with Reiner was like coming home. He'd been warm in his mate's embrace, pinned but not smothered beneath the other male's weight, and they would move together as fluidly as they could while also maneuvering around the baby, sometimes even breaking into little fits of laughter when they realized exactly how ridiculous their position had become, but it still felt good. It was whole laughter, and it was loving sex.

He remembered that not too long ago, having Reiner's lips at the back of his neck while the alpha slid inside had been the most delicious, toe-curling sensation.

Now his stomach curled, and instead of fighting off bliss until they were both ready to fall off the edge together, he was fighting off wave after wave of nausea. Not because he didn't want it, or because Reiner had turned into some hideous creature who he could never possibly be attracted to again, but because those things hadn't happened- he still felt good, he still felt safe, but he wasn't whole. How could he be, when they were now both hiding something in a moment when there shouldn't be enough space between them for secrets? There were pockets of empty space somewhere, where those lies sought refuge and festered, and it almost made Armin want to cry because the sex still felt the same when everything should have been different.

He wanted to hate Reiner, and sometimes he thought he did, but most of the time he was still so full of love for his mate that his heart burst with it.

Armin glanced down, seeing where his hands had braced themselves against the mattress while Reiner took him from behind. Over his left- the one that would have the ring, if they'd ever had the chance to get married, he realized- the other male had placed one of his own hands, covering it like a shield and holding it while they moved together, giving him the illusion of safety when really the touch had a vice clamping around Armin's swollen heart.

He cried again when he finished, breaking down on the mattress and only just managing to hold himself up for fear of hurting the baby. Reiner cooed softly over him and kissed his hair, the embodiment of love and sweetness as he cradled his mate and their child in strong arms, nosing against Armin's ear with a small hum as he just let the smaller blond cry it all out. What he was crying out, he didn't dare ask anymore- the answer was always 'hormones', and he supposed with the last leg of the pregnancy getting ready to get underway, it was only to be expected- but he would hold Armin through it, keep him safe in his arms while the first true snowfall of winter spun from the heavens.

Last week, without his knowing, Armin had gone to see Erwin Smith. After a lengthy conversation about morals and strategy, the omega had been granted only two more weeks to prepare for the loss he was about to suffer. Their time was almost out.

\--

"Hey," Reiner said one morning, The morning, the morning that would ruin everything.

"Hey," Armin said in return, smiling even though his mouth felt wooden and dry. 

"Hey," Reiner breathed, leaning forward to kiss his mate for the first time that day, savouring the soft warmth of the other male's lips. Armin felt like he was kissing stone. "Let's do something today. Let's go somewhere. I feel like all we've done for the past two weeks is just lay in bed."

"We didn't just lay in bed," Armin countered, still trying to smile, and he saw that Reiner had absolutely no problem with the action because he barked his hearty laugh, still absolutely delighted whenever Armin would say something with a dirty meaning. "But I do want to go somewhere," he continued when Reiner managed to contain himself. They had to go somewhere specific, for the plan to work. "I want to walk before I'm stuck either sitting or laying down for the next few months."

Reiner hummed, nosing at Armin's cheek and glancing down at his ever-growing belly. "Not for long," he promised, heaving himself up with a grunt of effort, and then reaching his massive arms out from his body in a stretch. 

No. Not long at all.

He was 27 weeks pregnant. And at 27 weeks pregnant, he was going to lose his mate.

\--

"You of all people should know how it feels." That's what he'd told Erwin, standing on the opposite side of the man's desk with his arms still in a perfect salute, despite how long he'd been talking. The commander only stared at him with eyes that had seen beyond their time, showing an age that he didn't have, and although it unnerved Armin slightly he was thankful that at least the stubble was gone. Erwin was putting himself back together when no one could see him fall apart.

The alpha had been silent this entire time, listening to Armin's confession about what he'd been thinking about the Armored Titan. The only clue that the younger male had that he was actually paying attention, alive in there despite how his eyes screamed otherwise, was the miniscule fleshing of his hand around a pen that he'd picked up in the beginning of Armin's long tale. He was probably biting back a tide of emotion, trying to uphold the image of the long-suffering-but-still-standing commander, knowing that if he showed signs of cracking around the edges he'd lose his position immediately and Levi-

Levi would be so disappointed in him. Levi would hate him.

Erwin sighed through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself. When they opened again, the blue seemed a little more vivid; a little more awake.

"I'll give you two weeks to prepare," was his answer, after a long moment of heavy silence.

Armin swallowed thickly, willing himself not to cry again. It seemed like all he'd been able to do, lately. "Sir, please-"

"Armin."

"- I just want to wait until the baby is born-"

"I am giving you," Erwin said, and his tone was that of a man that could not or would not be moved, "as much time as I think I can handle to let- to let that- to let the Armored Titan walk free. Any longer, and I think I'd be too tempted to avenge Levi myself."

Armin faltered in his argument, then nodded. "Yes, sir."

Erwin looked him over for a moment, then sighed again, leaning back slightly in his chair. "The first time I saw Levi, I thought he was beautiful."

\--

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Reiner whispered in his ear, his lips brushing over Armin's temple as they strode through a quieter section of town, and indeed today they seemed to be the only ones on the street.

Just as planned.

"I think you've mentioned it," Armin said lightly, smiling up at his mate and hoping, just praying with everything he had left that he didn't look too sad. On the inside, he was dying.

\--

"He was beautiful when he died, too," Erwin continued, voice soft; a secret. "He looked like an angel, before the teeth came down."

\--

Reiner was smiling at him, as bright as clear day and as warm as the highest point in July, even though snow swirled around their ankles and the air was chilled against Armin's face. Reiner was keeping one of his hands nice and warm, encompassed in his own.

Just a few more steps.

\--

"I called for retreat. Levi would've thought me such a coward."

\--

Armin wanted to turn around. He wanted to go home and he wanted to lie in bed and he wanted Reiner to put his hands against his belly and promise never again, he'd never do such horrible things ever again and he wanted to accept that easily and say 'okay' and he wanted to make love and then he wanted to get married and he wanted to be happy he wanted this to all go away-

(time is almost up they're so close now)

Armin stopped, pulled his hand out of Reiner's, and brought his mate down for a kiss.

\--

"I loved him so much I was almost blind with it. When I picked up his body and realized he wasn't in it, anymore, I never thought I'd see again."

\--

"Please don't fight," Armin breathed, his lips a bare murmur against Reiner's.

The alpha looked so confused. He thought Armin was joking, or maybe his mind was moving faster than his words again. "What would I be fighting, baby?"

Armin closed his eyes. "The soldiers."

And then he was moving, as fast as his legs could carry him at this stage of his pregnancy, and the shadows were alive with people in uniform, Eren at their head and blazing fury as they started to loop binds over Reiner's surprised form. The alpha was howling with rage, confused and yet convinced that they were under attack, that they were taking Armin from him, they were going to kill his mate and child no he would kill the enemies first-

"Don't fight them!" That was Armin, that was Armin and he was screaming. "Reiner, please!"

Mikasa was deadly and beautiful, circling the fray and acting as a second ring of soldiers all on her own, ready to make the kill if Reiner broke through.

"If you don't fight, they won't hurt you!" Armin's voice was threaded with cracks and sobs, shaking apart at the edges as someone- Jean, he thought, and Christa- held the omega back, keeping him out of harms way. "Reiner just stop fighting-"

There was a pinch and a cold trickle at the back of his neck, and then suddenly, everything was black.

\--

Later, in some strange twist, Sasha would be the one to hold Armin after Reiner had been taken away. He was going to be put in a cell underground, far below the streets and citizens, where his powers were useless in the cramped space and he could bring no harm to anyone until the Survey Corps deemed him of no further use to humanity.

At which point, the shifter would be swiftly put down.

Eren and Mikasa were busy keeping Reiner's unconscious body in check. The Armored Titan had made sure that Levi would never be there to comfort him ever again. Reiner was absolutely out of the question. He supposed it would make sense that he'd have to find someone new to turn to, and Sasha had always been a good friend-

The times, they were a changin'. He would have to learn to adapt with them, if he wanted to make it out of this alive, and if he wanted to keep his baby safe and well.

"Take me home," Armin whispered to her, shaking in her arms and threatening to rattle into bits, though he couldn't feel the way he was falling apart at the seams. It was blissfully numb at the moment; free from the pain as long as the shock and trauma were busy having their reign over his body. "Please, Sasha. I need to go to bed."

She nodded, kissing his hair and trying her best to soothe him, but she was a beta. She couldn't offer him the comfort he was bound by genetics to crave, but she was still a good friend.

Sasha took him home, laid him out in bed, and promised that there would be a snack waiting for him in the kitchen if he felt hungry, later. Soup. Something warm to hold when the sheets lost whatever warmth Reiner had given them.

Armin slept for a very, very long time.

\--

"He wants to see you."

Armin stared at Jean through tired, heavy eyes, and shook his head. "Can't."

The sandy-haired male's frown deepened, growing a bit strained around the edges as he tried to keep his emotions in check- a rare turn of events for the otherwise transparent alpha. "Armin, please. He won't talk until he gets to see you, and we need to know what he knows."

Armin's expression was also strained, his teeth settled firmly in his lower lip as he rubbed a hand over his stomach, realizing that this new flutter of anxiety could upset the baby. He was almost certain they were napping, now; usually they were much more active than this. At 29 weeks, Armin was settling in for the final stretch of his pregnancy, and the baby could come in as soon as eight more weeks. It was a terrifying thought, especially now that he knew that he would be a single parent trying to raise a child that could-

No. He wasn't going to think about that. He had to keep hoping his luck would hold out and the Military Police wouldn't come knocking on his door. For know, the Survey Corps had full reign over Reiner's case, and Erwin was orchestrating the whole deal in a way that would buy as much time for Armin as possible. The omega knew that he would almost forever be in his commander's debt.

"Armin," Jean sighed, getting ready to try again. "Just for a little while. We need to get him to start talking so we can show some reports to the higher-ups, or else they'll send an order down to execute him."

Armin raised his free hand to his mouth, shaking his head like it was the only other thing he knew how to do, other than hold his crying at bay and try to soothe his unborn child.

His unborn, not completely human child.

It was an unfair thing to think. Eren had insisted he was human after his first shift, and Armin would defend that to the death, but there was a difference between a boy who had been given powers for the sake of humanity and a boy who had used his own powers to try and take it down, and that difference was the humanity of those boys. Eren was human because he sacrificed things for what was good, while Reiner just wasn't human because he took things for his own selfish dream, the way he'd taken Armin and lured him in and got him pregnant even though he had to have known there was no way to make it work, not when the secret was out and the stench of it had everyone on edge.

But he still loved him. Armin hated that he couldn't completely hate Reiner, but there was nothing he could do about it. All he wanted was to be given more time to grieve for the mate he'd really never had, and then slip away to bring their child up in peace and far off from any judging eyes. News had already spread about the Armored Titan's capture, bursting from little cracks in their dam and slipping into the public, and a few were already talking about that little blond boy who had lain down with the monster at night, and was due to give birth to his bastard in only a few weeks.

It was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up.

"If they kill him, Armin-"

"I know," Armin moaned, muffled behind his hand. His eyes slipped closed, and the rubbing stopped. He could feel the baby wiggle slightly in response, probably getting ready to wake up. "Jean, you just don't understand what-"

"No, you're right! I don't understand." Jean leaned forward, looming over Armin in what was supposed to be the comfort of his own living room. The couch was still soft and inviting beneath him, but above him, Jean was like an oncoming storm, ready to bring thunder down over his head and flash lightning like white fangs in his eyes. "I don't understand what you've become, god dammit. I know you've had it hard, and when this is all over I'll work my ass off to make it up to you- but you're risking lives here for nothing, Armin. That isn't like you!"

"Well you try getting knocked up by mankind's worst enemy!" Armin snapped back at him, a low growl pushing at his teeth. He was feeling crowded and threatened, now- not good for a pregnant omega. "See how it changes you!"

Jean shook his head, actually having the nerve to look disgusted, of all things. "You're smarter than this, and we both knew it. If you won't help, I might as well go put a bullet in his brain myself-"

There was a sharp sound of springs popping beneath the couch cushion, and then suddenly Armin was on him. The blond swung a fist at Jean's jaw, one armed with a downstrike of nails for good measure, and the alpha almost reared up to meet the challenge with deadly intent when he realized that he was the one in the wrong, here.

"Armin," he said softly, trying to bring his breathing back down to something less heavy, as if he could cup the tension in his hands and smother it with a few light gestures.

Armin shook his head, moving past the alpha and up the stairs. The baby, unaware of what was happening outside the safety of the womb, let the movement rock them to sleep.

\--

In another odd twist of fate, Eren was the one who ended up visiting Reiner the most. The two shifters were under constant supervision during these times, surrounded by armed soldiers ready to spring into action even when Eren reached up to scratch his nose. Down there, in the pressing darkness that couldn't even really be chased away by torchlight, everyone jumped at the slightest noise, at the tiniest hint of a threat.

Everyone, except for the two boys that were the threat.

"If you're just going to come down here every day to stand there and glare at me, you can piss off." Reiner wouldn't even look at him, anymore. He was past the point of pleading to be let out, his face to the bars as he yelled at soldiers that were too scared to punch him in the face, while Eren would only snarl back at him and tell him to shut his mouth until he was ready to tell them something useful. 

"I have to make sure you won't do anything stupid," Eren countered, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the wall. One could almost say he resembled Levi, in the way the Captain used to watch Eren in a different cell. The difference was that Eren was still growing (and indeed had sprouted a few more inches, as well as some more muscle mass), that his skin was dark and his hair was getting longer, and he was still breathing where the Captain was nothing but ash and bone fragments in a little bottle Erwin kept in his quarters. 

All thanks to Reiner.

The blond alpha huffed. "You know I'm not that dumb."

Eren bared his teeth at him. "I know that you're fucking evil. Someone has to be here to fight you."

Reiner sighed. It was all he could really do, with his hands bound behind his back. Just sigh and huff and make useless noise. "Armin doesn't think I'm evil."

"Armin thinks you're the goddamn scum of the Earth. He doesn't even want to look at you." Eren's voice didn't waver as he said it, but mentally, he was cringing. He didn't really know what Armin thought, and he was almost too scared to ask. Where he thought he'd see blazing anger and the sting of betrayal, like everyone else, the little blond's blue eyes were only sad, and hollow when the sadness wasn't there to fill them. Mikasa had to drag him out of bed most mornings, making sure he ate and showered, though both of them now suspected that Armin only really bothered to take care of himself for the baby's sake.

Everyone was getting ready for him to say he wanted to leave. As soon as the baby was born, there was a very real possibility that Armin would take his child and go away, so he could hide where the whispers and outrage wouldn't find him.

"People want him dead because of you," Eren continued, still strong in tone but cracking in spirit. 

"I didn't force myself on him," Reiner said, dull and oddly uncaring. It seemed like the darkness had broken him. "We were talking about getting married, before all of this. Besides- he figured me out. He made the plan that got me captured. Shouldn't they think he's a hero?"

"They think he knew what you were all along," the brunet growled, still angry, always angry. "And if that's not what they think, then they think the baby is going to turn out to be just like you. The Military Police actually sent someone to go see if Armin was planning on getting rid of it."

"Will he?" Reiner's voice echoed back to him. Eren couldn't see the other male's face.

"No. He loves them more than he ever thought he loved you."

Eren saw something bright in the darkness- no, that wasn't right. Everything was still dark, but this little spot was just a shade lighter than the rest of the shadows. Reiner's teeth. The bastard was actually smiling.

"He still loves me. I want to see him."

"You don't deserve him!" Eren snarled, letting the sound rip between his own teeth like a viper, ready to strike and sink venom into Reiner's veins.

"And you think you do?" Two more lighter spots in the darkness- the whites of Reiner's eyes. "What are you going to do, Jaeger? Keep being his best friend and hope it gets you somewhere, just like you always-"

"Don't talk like that, you son of a bitch!" Eren leaned forward, and the guards did the same, preparing to pry Eren off of the bars of Reiner's cell and drag him out. "I'm not going to use him like you did! I am nothing like you!"

Reiner's soft chuckle echoed off of the stone walls. The warrior shifted where he sat, pleased with the stress and grief he was inflicting on the enemy. "Even if you don't think you're anything like me, you want to be like me. At least in some ways."

Eren growled at him like an animal, launching himself at Reiner's cell. Soldiers spilled forth to grab him, and in the din of the commotion, they almost missed what the prisoner said next.

"Tell Armin I want to see him," he said, for what seemed like the millionth time. "He's not the type to hide forever."

\--

Reiner didn't know what to make of the heavy footsteps coming toward him. He didn't raise his head, not wanting to meet Eren's scowl after everything he'd said a few days ago, but these footsteps were different. Too light, and also unsteady. Like they were walking on sore feet.

He looked up, and found blue eyes.

"I almost thought you were the executioner," Reiner breathed, drinking in Armin's face (however tired and strained it might have been) before looking at the roundness of his stomach, where their child was growing and getting ready to meet the world. "Thirty weeks along, right? I'm surprised you could even make it down here-"

"Don't sound so cheerful. Please."

Reiner snapped his jaw shut with an audible click, looking like a dog that had just seen its master do something very odd. He'd never heard Armin sound like that before- with that hoarse, defeated tone that weighed on the both of them like boulders.

"... Alright," the larger blond agreed, thinking that it wouldn't be difficult to sound less happy, now that he could really see the havoc these last few weeks had been wreaking on his beloved mate. When he spoke again, his voice was much more sober. "I missed you."

Armin gave him a look that made it seem as though Reiner had taken a blade and twisted it into his gut. "I really wish I couldn't say the same."

Despite everything, Reiner could still smile. "So you do still love me, then."

"I don't want to," Armin murmured, pulling up a chair in front of Reiner's cell. "But I'm here to try and spare your life, anyway. If you don't start talking, they'll kill you."

"I know," the alpha responded, not seeming too concerned. "I wanted to see you."

"Well, here I am." Armin raised his arms out, emphasising his presence in the bleary dungeon, but he was still so small in that vast darkness. "So you'll talk now, right?"

"Let me talk to you, first," Reiner pleaded, shuffling forward slightly so he was directly in front of his cell door. "I want to know how you've been. Tell me about the baby."

"They've been active," Armin said, glazing over the first part of that request entirely. "Kicking and moving a lot. They like to do somersaults, but I think it's getting cramped in there. When I walk, it rocks them to sleep."

Reiner looked absolutely starstruck. "Do you think they'd let me..?"

It didn't matter if Reiner wanted to know if they'd let him touch, kiss, listen to, or get anywhere near the baby. The answer was still the same. "No."

"Ah." Reiner's face fell, and it tore at Armin's heart that he couldn't just open the cell door, untie his hands and curl up in his mate's arms. But he knew better than to let himself become aware that he had those feelings. He had to be distant from now on, or else he'd lose whatever he had left. "Well, did you come up with any names?"

Armin was quiet for a moment. There was a second when Reiner had no idea if Armin had even heard him, or planned on answering if he had, but eventually the smaller of the two spoke.

"I want their middle name to be Levi," he said, and oh, his voice was like a lake of knives beneath a thin sheet of ice. 

It hit Reiner like a cannonball to the chest (and it was funny, wasn't it, because he actually knew what that felt like, and in his titan form it hadn't hurt him as much as Armin's words hurt him now). "Armin," he whispered, actually sounding a little helpless. "I didn't mean to-"

"I saw the body," the omega cut in, his voice wavering with emotion but it was still strong. He was finding strength he'd forgotten he had. "I saw what you did to him. You knew what he meant to me. But you ate him anyway, because apparently whatever mission you have means more to you than me."

"That isn't-"

"And my family!" Armin's eyes were blazing with the rage Eren had been looking for, one that spoke of the years of his suffering even before Reiner had been with him. "My grandfather died to get back the wall you took down, and I told you that- I bet you didn't even care."

"I did!" Reiner rushed to get his words in, looking at Armin with wide, panicked yes that flickered yellow and orange in the torchlight. "Armin, if I could take it all back-"

"You probably wanted to kill Mikasa and Eren, didn't you? Why did you run? Did you suddenly develop a conscience?"

Reiner was just about whipping his head back and forth at this point, his hair now long enough to curl with sweat into his eyes which already stung with tears. "Armin, baby, please-"

"They think I helped you!" Armin hollered, raising his voice over Reiner's distress as he also stood from his chair, spitting venom in his words for a man he'd once whispered sweet nothings to. "They're arguing over my life, now! Trying to figure out if it's worth it to let me live long enough to give birth, or if they should just gut me now and hope they killed two monsters in one shot!"

"They wouldn't!" Reiner howled, screaming with his forehead pressed to the cold steel of the bars. Snot dribbled from his nose, tears from his eyes, spit from his crumpled lips. "They can't- they can't, I won't let them-!"

Armin turned, starting to stalk out of the dungeon, but not before tossing a few last words at his former mate. "What can you do about it?! If I die, it's going to be because you let me!"

Reiner's screaming followed him even past the heavy door put in place to trap him in. Armin moved smoothly down the hall, only stopping when he was faced with the broad chest of one Erwin Smith.

"He'll talk, now," he told the alpha, tired and sad once more. He needed a nap. The baby was restless from their father's screaming. "He'll tell you whatever it takes, if he thinks it will let me live. I'm going home."

And he did go, but he didn't sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so this took a long time im sorry and this is also only like 7400 words (sorry) but there is an epilogue after this and a sequel so!! hold onto your butts

Armin, though exhausted, let sleep evade him for much, much longer than he really should have. Sasha was quick to remind him of this, at his side any time he yawned or blinked a little too slowly, armed with whatever food had been fabled to be good for pregnant omegas in her village as she herself took on the task of watching her friend. Jean was off with Eren and Mikasa, seeing about an emergency meeting being held in a location so classified even Armin had been refused information on it- Armin, who had once sat at a table with Erwin Smith, their heads bent over vague sketches of plans as they worked out positions that would make each and every soldier valuable to their cause.

Oh, how the mighty fall. 

Inside him, the baby rolled and wiggled, trying to find space in a womb that was rapidly becoming much too small for their developing body. Armin used to worry about them getting too cramped, aware that he had once been slight around the middle and really didn't have much room to offer, but Sasha waved him down and tutted until he was forced to accept that everything would be fine-

Or, at least, as fine as it could be.

He looked at her now, prattling on about proper sleeping habits while pregnant, and didn't think he'd ever been more thankful for anyone else in such a long time. Levi had left him much too suddenly, leaving him without an omegan bond or a midwife, and while Sasha was a beta incapable of really filling the open wound left in his heart, she was a soothing bandage. She was comfortable to be around, and good-humoured when she thought it would help. She filled the silence with happiness, while Eren would have filled it with red seething, and Mikasa with a cold kind of love that would do nothing but chill Armin when he needed a cozy blanket. Reiner's comfort was absolutely out of the question, and Erwin still refused to even look at him after Levi's death; reminded of what he could have had. A baby on the way, his mate safe in a home. The blond knew that Erwin was jealous of him, envied him beyond comprehension, but he was also aware of the situation Armin had been thrown in and aware that despite what childhood may have taught him, kicking and screaming and arguing didn't always get you what you wanted. Sooner or later, they all had to grow up, and Armin felt more aged than he had any right to be at 15, even in a world that had him fearing for his life at every turn without knowing if the walls would even hold long enough for him to deliver his baby.

Now, he supposed that was one last thing about. With Reiner behind bars, the rest of humanity could breathe a little easier; sleep a little more soundly in their beds, perhaps with a mate curled at their side. An entirely human, loving, whole mate that didn't have blood on their hands or a fire for mankind's destruction burning in their belly. He suddenly found himself jealous of people he didn't know, people he might never know, people who might not even exist-

God, how many families out there were picking out colours for their nursery? How many of them already had children, kids who would run free between the trees and never have to wonder if their parents would make it home, if Daddy had slaughtered thousands and threatened humanity with extinction? Armin craved a life in which he was older, perhaps a little more satisfied with just living in the walls, and heavy with a perfectly average alpha's child while their oldest leaned up on tiptoes to press their ear to Armin's stomach, listening to two living twins kick healthily as the child already tasting air and soaking up what life had for him looked up at him with huge blue eyes, excited because Armin had never had any trouble with his heats or his pregnancies, and they had no reason to worry about whether or not any of his babies would make it to birth. His fantasy burned at the back of his throat like sour metal, mocking him behind his teeth as his gaze hardened where it was fixed out of the window of his living room. Sasha noticed the tightness of his fingers against the couch, but thankfully (thankfully thankful Armin could never be more grateful) left him to deal with it himself, instead of prodding him for answers that would never solve anything.

If he couldn't be helpful here, he wanted to be out there. Instead of being cast aside until the baby in his belly became the center of attention once more, Armin just wanted to be normal. He didn't want his baby to be anyone's conflict. He didn't want people to trickle in through his doors, see the swelling of his stomach and tell him no, he couldn't have Reiner Braun's child. He wanted to escape this life so desperately that he might have tried, if it weren't for the second life tied so closely to his own, and that bare wisp of a hope that by some miracle he could take his baby and run to that little house in the woods, and raise them without ever having to acknowledge the father that had poisoned both of their lives.

So much for growing up. He was still dreaming.

"Armin," Sasha whispered to him, placing her fingers gently over the back of his hand. Instinct, he realized. Few felt secure enough to touch a pregnant omega in any way that would be considered bold, out of fear of a vengeful alpha. "Armin, I really think you should go to bed now. You look sick."

He hummed, closing his eyes for a moment. In that split second of darkness, Armin saw Reiner as he'd left him; screaming and howling like a wounded animal, his face red and blotched against the sturdy metal bars of his prison.

"I don't think I'm ready for sleep yet."

Sasha frowned. She was starting to teeter toward the end of her patience, and wouldn't hesitate to force Armin into bed if it was for his own good. "You have to try, at least. It's not good for the baby."

"The baby is getting plenty of sleep. They don't need me for that."

"It's not good for the baby if you're upset all the time."

"Sleep won't help."

"You shouldn't be so stubborn! Now I see why you and Captain Levi-"

"Sasha," he pleaded, his eyes clouded a dull, stone blue. "Just give me a few more minutes to feel tired."

Her fingers pressed a little more firmly against his hand, like she was about to insist again, but instead her expression softened. She looked at the great curve of his belly, sighed, and relented. "If you're grumpy in the morning, you have only yourself to blame."

Armin smiled at her, not so much out of fondness as it was out of relief. "Thank you."

She sucked in a deep breath, kissed his forehead, and turned toward the kitchen without offering a "you're welcome" in return. It was a lapse in her seemingly constant tirade to have good manners, but it had been a long day for everyone. They were supposed to be allowed a break, every now and then.

The sick pull of wanting something he couldn't have twisted at his stomach. The baby fussed slightly at their father's stress, but this was around the time they usually took their nap, so Armin just rubbed soothingly over the bump, already practicing the routine of comforting his baby until they fell asleep. It made him miss his mother (another something he could wish and wish for but never have), but he'd already done his crying and carrying on over her loss. He would just have to take the example he had, and try to raise his baby the way she'd raised him.

The terror started with the groaning of timber support beams.

Armin didn't really have time to register it. He thought he could hear a whisper of something that almost sounded like pain sliding through the air, like an old man drawing one last shuddering breath before their lungs could inflate no more, and then the entire left side of the house seemed to invert on itself, the ceiling being sucked bizarrely toward the ground in a deafening roar of wood and plaster. Armin did not move from his couch, but he'd seen the dark spurt over what remained of the wall- a sickening burst of scarlet, like a tomato being crushed beneath a giant wheel- and he knew that Jean would grieve again for a mate that had not been around long enough to move past tender kisses and breathless whispers.

And Armin.

Armin was looking at his mate, now.

He was looking at the horrible face of Reiner's Titan, looming through the settling dust and debris like some glaring skull, and once more Armin was struck by the sudden terrifying sensation of being paralyzed. He'd felt it once before, back when he'd had his knees folded beneath him against the roof of a house in Trost, when his stomach had been flat and Reiner had been at the back of his mind in his shocking grief for Eren and his squad. This titan did not grab him to dangle him by the fingers like a tasty treat- no, this titan cradled him in a hot palm like he was mouse with a broken leg, a pregnant omega with nowhere to run.

When the Armored Titan brushed his thumb against the side of Armin's face- surprisingly gentle despite its size and Sasha's blood painting the wall behind it- it was out of love.

-

Reiner had learned a thing or two about his shifting abilities. The art of focusing his transformation on only certain parts of his body (his hands, in this case, which had become great hammers for battering and mangling the bars of his cell) came from all of those exhausting lessons with Annie and Bertholdt, tucked away in the same cabin that he'd once kept Armin in the first time the other blond had gone into an early heat. They'd worked through blood, sweat, and tears- often keeling over from overexertion during those first few months, only to drag themselves back to base for an even longer day of hikes, hand-to-hand combat training, and 3DMG practise.

He pulled the unforgiving iron apart as easily as though the bars had been made from daisy chains, and did it with time to spare before the guards could truly realize what was happening. Reiner pulled them apart, too- left them as a gift, a scarlet mural against the wall for Eren to find and read as his own failure, and as the failure of the entire government to keep him bound and dangle Armin's life like a cat's toy. He would die before he let anyone bring harm to his mate like that, or their child- their child, not even in the world yet, and already they'd become so desperately important in the eyes of the law. Reiner would have been proud, if there wasn't so much at stake. Maybe later, when he had Armin safe in his arms once more, he could swell a little with self-satisfaction at putting humanity in such a tizzy over his unborn offspring, but there was still such a long way to go.

The alpha left his escape path marked in the blood of all those who stood in his way; men and women, soldiers his own age, no one was spared. His massive palms and knuckles were edged with his titan's armor, making it all that much easier to crush the fragile bone of his enemies, and smear their insides with his fists like soft cheese.

And when he broke the surface, when he saw the light at the end of the tunnel and knew that he was on his way out, he knew exactly where to go.

-

He couldn't see where they were going.

Armin had just regained enough awareness to realize that he was frightened- beyond frightened, really, he didn't know if there was a name for this kind of stomach-mashing horror- and it was dark. It was so, so dark, and uncomfortably warm. The Armored Titan (even after all this time, Armin couldn't think that this was Reiner carrying him like this) kept him cupped against a hollow at his throat, held safely there in a chink in that infamous outer shell. Here, Armin was probably safer than he'd been inside his ruined little house, but he felt as though each moment was another drop of the pendulum, getting closer and closer to the convulsing pillar of his throat as he fought for breath against this new assault of fear and adrenaline. 

When the hand moved away, Armin's vision whirled with stars. It was still dark, which meant that they hadn't been walking long enough to face dawn, but Armin couldn't hear any sounds of an approaching rescue team. Surely there had to be some sort of offense in place, ready to take Armin back and put an end to Reiner's devastating escape- that was what they'd prepared for, right? They had a plan for this, they had a plan and they would come, they would, they had to-

He was set delicately on his feet, even given an affectionate little nudge, before great plumes of steam billowed out from behind him, and the dark outline of his once beloved mate's gait started toward him.

Human, Reiner was smiling. He looked as though he'd just won a long, gruelling race- only to find Armin at the finish line, waiting dutifully for his alpha with a tall pitcher of water and all of his love. Indeed, Reiner could only see an Armin that loved him; an Armin that seemed a little dazed, but wasn't red-faced and screaming, blaming him for impending suffering and the sins of the past. They could work away from that. He'd done this for the both of them, so they could start fresh, clean their names of any wrongdoing and raise their child away from the scorching eye of the Survey Corps- right here, in the shambling ruins of a cabin nestled into a small patch of woodland just a few hours out of the walls. He'd used the breach Bertholdt had made as his way out, thanking his friend for leaving that behind at least when everything else about the other shifter's assault on Wall Rose had been so wrong. Reiner's titan could be light on his feet when it was oh so desperately needed, and he'd run as fast as his bulky body would allow, remembering Annie's guidance when it came to avoiding the Survey Corps' scrambling troops. They'd barely had enough time to gather themselves before Reiner had his mate in his hand, and without anything else to dawdle behind for, their escape had been swift and flawless.

They'd escaped together. They could live together. They could finally, finally be happy.

"Well," Reiner panted, exhilarated and heaving in sweaty gasps as he looked over Armin, hungry and almost high from the run. "I saved you. See, Armin? I took you away- took you both away." 

His face was softer then; less like a dog after a kill and more like a dog in the heat of a summer's evening, watching fondly as puppies chased each other in the fields. He knelt, looking down while Armin stared blankly, and pressed his lips gently to where their baby was growing- the baby he was told he would never touch, as long as he lived. He was almost smug as he kissed the swell of his mate's stomach with a mouth that might as well have been smeared with blood for all the trauma it was causing the omega now, and he was surprised to find that when he looked down, Reiner's teeth were effortlessly white and gleaming. 

"Armin? Baby?"

Armin flashed his teeth back at him in a grimace. It made his eyes crinkle the same way they did when he smiled when he was beyond happiness, and he realized his Reiner was so far down the rabbit hole when the alpha before him saw only joy. "Good," Reiner breathed, kissing his stomach again, and again, and again. "Good, that's so good. Listen, we have to leave again in a few hours- I don't want them catching up, and this isn't the best place to settle down. I'll bring you up over a mountain or something, Armin- it'll be perfect, wherever we are. Just somewhere safe, like you wanted. Once the baby is born, we can go even further- all the way out to the ocean, and even beyond that. We'll go all over the world, and have more babies, and dogs and cats and anything, baby, so you don't need to worry about getting hurt anymore. I've got you."

"... Yeah." Yes, Reiner most definitely had him. Reiner had him in the same way a trap with iron teeth had a rabbit's leg, and Reiner would have him as a prisoner while still calling him his lover. "Yeah, I'm... I'm just very tired."

Reiner crooned over him, taking one of his hands and kissing each knuckle, and the tip of each finger. "There should be a bed in here, somewhere. Did you keep yourself up waiting for me?"

Armin's throat burned. "I haven't been able to sleep for a long time."

Reiner rose to his full height, towering over Armin in a way that had once made the omega feel secure. Now he just felt intimidated, and lost beneath the pressure he knew Reiner could put on him if he dared to try and leave him now. His once wonderful relationship was now one of the horror stories he'd heard passed down through his years; the one he told himself he'd never put himself in, that one situation he'd promised himself over and over he'd be able to get out of.

It happened so slowly, and then while Armin was still trying to detect a change, the snare closed around his neck and held him to Reiner's side like a hunting trophy.

As long as Reiner lived, Armin would never escape him.

His mate kissed his forehead, tenderly brushing his bangs back before the alpha turned, tossing parting words over his shoulder as he went off to go search for a bed: "Don't worry. It was hard to sleep without you, too."

Armin started to cry.

-

If Eren could roar from the heights he craved, he'd somehow mash his titan teeth and tongue together in a way that made speech possible, if only to scream Reiner's impending death over the walls and past the mountains, until the cowardly, murderous rat was forced out of his hiding hole, ready to hand Armin over unharmed before surrendering under Eren's blows. As it was, Eren was confined to his human body for now- under direct orders from Commander Smith, he was forbidden to shift until they had a visual on Reiner. Too soon, and he might either wear himself out, or cause too much of a commotion for the Survey Corps to keep up with, sending the entire mission backwards until their window of rescuing Armin had closed.

Eren could feel the titan bubbling under his skin. It wanted out, wanted blood, and Eren wanted to feed it. Mikasa kept a hand on him the entire time they were being briefed on the situation, quietly warning him with fierce looks and meaningful tugs at his shirt.

She didn't like having to sit still either, but orders were orders. She'd learned from Levi long ago that disobeying the chain of command only invited trouble.

"They're getting ready to lift the gates," Erwin told them all, addressing them with his broad chest puffed and his powerful arms bent in a salute. It was still odd to see that empty space at his flank, where Levi had always waited during these speeches, like he'd been giving his mate a pillar to rest against just by being there. The two had shared a kind of support that this world would never see again, all thanks to the beast they were now trying to track down. "We're still a long way away from mobilizing. Start gathering the supplies, but keep light. We're not prepared for this type of situation, and if we want to minimize casualties, we have to move fast."

His eyes swept over the soldiers gathered before him, each one ready to die if only to save that one little blond boy.

There were only three squads.

The others had already deemed it a lost cause, and with Erwin's permission, had decided to fall back and see if they could be of any use around the hole that Reiner had widened in Wall Rose. This wasn't a mission to regain territory, or learn more about the titans- at the most, this could be a wild goose chase without a happy ending, and they'd be more useful protecting the lives of thousands instead of dying for one. The commander didn't hold a grudge against them, but Eren had been furious. Even Jean, who was still pale and quaking beneath the weight of Sasha's death, had stood straight and tall when asked who would volunteer to go after the Armored Titan- ready to sacrifice everything to protect the people he had left to love. He knew that if Sasha had... if she'd been able to, she would have happily gone along, and led them in a victory cry when they made it home.

They would make it home. They had to. He had another body to burn.

Hanji looked grim, as they almost always did before a mission. Despite their more eccentric tendencies, they knew when it was best to be serious, and in Levi's absence, they'd set about being the best example of a soldier they could be. Eren was grateful for them, at least; here was someone he could always count on to hate the titans as much as he did, and try everything in their power to be rid of them. If it took taking them apart and reverse-engineering a weapon that could finally wipe them off the map, so be it. Hanji understood, and Hanji would be the one Eren counted on to see them through. Erwin was still a hero to him, but something had happened since he'd lost Levi. Eren had understood that he'd once said that he'd lose anything to move forward toward a better future, but to watch a part of the future he'd been planning for be demolished in front of his own eyes-

He supposed it would do things to a man. The look on Jean's face only confirmed it. When they came home, Eren would stand by both of them with Armin wrapped up in his arms, and he'd show them that not all hope was lost.

They were left waiting for the order to move out until well after midnight. The chaos Reiner's titan had left near the wall took the blame, even though here and there were hushed murmurs of thanks that Reiner had remained mostly human until he'd reached Armin's house. Things could have been so much worse- that was what Eren had to keep telling himself, locking up the giant with glowing eyes inside himself with whatever positivity he could find, some reason not to get so worked up. He was trying desperately not to think of the Forest of Giant Trees, when he'd hesitated to shift, and they'd lost so many of their best. This wasn't like that, not at all, and he had to keep reminding himself. Orders were orders. Do not cross Erwin. Be the man Levi would have been proud of, if he'd ever been proud of anyone.

(He'd been proud of them all.)

Once a path had been cleared for the horses, and their squads had picked through their belongings to find whatever was the most important, they started to saddle up. Strings of people lined the streets, watching them get ready to move beyond the gate with hollow, bloodshot eyes. These were people who had either been too poor or too sick to move to a safer area inside the walls after the Colossal Titan had broken through that first time, and whatever shallow hope they'd had after the attack had been swept away with the appearance of the Armored Titan. The entire district had been left to ruins and poverty; practically a ghost town, if it weren't for the soldiers constantly riding through, and the poor windblown souls who had nowhere else to go. There was no Recon mission getting ready to rescue them.

Eren wished them luck at the back of his mind, digging his heels into his horse's side as they began the quick trot through the gate. To his right, he saw Jean kiss the handle of his blade, though it was now twice instead of just that one brief peck. He now had two people to send his prayers to.

Eren looked to the sky, and sent his prayers to Armin.

-

In the darkness of that cabin, Armin heard nothing except for Reiner's breathing. The alpha was curled protectively at his back, his knees tucked behind Armin's while one of his broad hands lay over the swollen mound of the omega's stomach, feeling the baby kick and wiggle for room in slow, sleepy bursts. The child hadn't been so relaxed in the longest time, and the fact that it had simply been because of his other father's voice finally being heard in those hushed tones and the solid presence of his palm just broke Armin's heart. He had to get out, he had to get away, but he couldn't imagine what it would do to his baby, even if they never made contact with Reiner after birth. He knew what it was like to grow up without parents, but was the burden really lessened when there was still one left? Could he really believe that everything would be fine, that his baby would grow up happy without his other father, that he could escape this even after Reiner was far far away from him and oh god-

Oh, God.

God, please, still be listening.

"Have you thought of names?"

Armin closed his eyes. He'd thought Reiner had fallen asleep. Honestly, he was halfway lulled to sleep; the baby wasn't the only one taking a sick sort of comfort from having Reiner there with him. "No. I still have a few more weeks."

Reiner hummed, low and silky, like they were still in their bed and the world still had some sort of promise of tomorrow. "I thought we could name them after the ocean, or something to do with it. We'll see it sooner than we would have if we waited in the walls, you know. We're moving forward."

They were going nowhere.

"I'll think about it," Armin breathed. Reiner rubbed his hand over his belly, causing the baby to shift and settle once more, idly drumming their little feet. "I still want their middle name to be Levi."

"Ah." Reiner's hand retracted, very slowly. That was all it took. "... Whatever makes you happy."

He would never be happy. Not as long as he was being kept like this.

And then he thought... why be kept like this?

In that quiet moment, far from the prying eyes of his people and out of the clumsy grasp of the titans that killed them, the lover lay with a man that was both and at the same time neither. The lover remembered the warmth of massive palms over his stomach, protecting their baby, and he also remembered the cold blackness of Levi's dead eyes as the flames licked over them, having already gorged themselves on his mangled lower body and stump of a hand. 

Armin placed a hand over his belly, felt a little nudge, and decided that for just a little while, he'd be a warrior.

-

The next morning, it was cold. It was the kind of cold that made his breath freeze in his lungs for a moment, and his feet curled up deeper beneath their makeshift blanket, and his lips curled in a slight smile when Reiner jumped and grumbled behind him. As always, the other blond was like a furnace, so his lips were hot against Armin's ear when he nipped at it in retaliation. "You sleep like the dead and your feet sure help pull the illusion off," the alpha growled; playful, like a dog in a crouch, tail wagging and tongue lolling.

Armin laughed. "That's what you get for bringing me all the way out here. The house is probably as cold as this shack, anyway."

"Sorry," Reiner mumbled. "I know we worked hard on getting those walls painted. You sound... a lot better, though."

"I was tired," Armin answered, reaching back for his mate's hand. He found it, and brought it up to his lips to kiss the knuckles, feeling much cozier when the hand opened up to allow him to nuzzle against Reiner's palm. "Now I'm well-rested, but still cold."

"It'll be your birthday, soon," Reiner said, satisfied with Armin's answer about why he was so suddenly affectionate. At this point, he was about ready to believe anything that would keep the warrior at bay, and let him stay the lover. "I'll get you a brand new house- one without a massive hole in the side. How's that?"

Perfect. "By the ocean? No titans?"

"Never, baby," Reiner promised, kissing the shell of Armin's ear. "Not even me. Once I get us where we're going, I'm done shifting. Call it an early retirement."

"I hope we get there soon," the smaller of the two said, almost a whisper, so soft and yearning that it was almost like they were back in the home Sasha had died in, planning the nursery and wishing time would bring their child into the world sooner and sooner. Now he found himself hoping that everything would go well, and he'd have another eight or so safe weeks in which he didn't have to worry about going into labour on top of everything else. He needed to be stress free, warm, fed- he needed to go back to the walls. As if to solidify this, his stomach growled ferociously, making them both chuckle. "And I hope there's food there. The baby has your appetite."

He thought of the wet sound of cracking bones, the churning gush of Levi's flesh as it tumbled down the Armored Titan's throat (a sight he'd missed, a sight he'd never miss not seeing) and he immediately wanted to retract that statement.

Reiner yawned behind him, getting up and stretching with a strained groan. "I'll go see what I can dig up. I should've packed something- didn't really have the time. I'm surprised the Survey Corps isn't already on our asses."

"Maybe they gave up," Armin said, "like they gave up on Bertholdt."

Reiner didn't even blink. He nodded, yawned again, and made a noise that sounded like agreement. "I knew you'd figure that out. We'll find him, too. And you won't need to worry about him- that thing in your old apartment, when he shifted, that was... He wasn't right, for a while. The pressure was too much. You understand, right?"

Armin understood, but he found he was working much better under pressure. The trick was to not acknowledge the pressure at all, right up until he was ready to lift it. "He can live with us," he promised, watching from over his shoulder as Reiner set his feet on the floor and stood. His alpha gave him the most adoring look, nodding along as he leaned down to kiss Armin's cheek, before padding heavily over to the rotting door and pushing through it. Armin watched him go, rubbing his stomach as the baby squirmed and fussed over not having breakfast on time. The poor thing would probably have to go hungry for a little bit.

He heard another door shut. It would be dangerous for Reiner to leave him now, considering they were outside the safety of Wall Rose, but he supposed his mate wasn't in his right mind. He would just have to be careful, and hope to God that Reiner wouldn't attract any attention to them- exactly how far away could a titan sense a couple of humans? Well, a couple and a good three-quarters. Did titans eat babies? Could the tell when a human was pregnant?

Now was not the time to make speculations about titans. He needed to find a weapon.

The kitchen had knives. They were actually in good condition, though there was one in the sink that was crusted with something that was either rust or blood. Armin didn't touch that one. Instead, he went for the largest knife- probably something used on tough, large cuts of meat, like a leg of ham or a fat roast. He tested it on his palm and found that it still cut like a dream, though he knew it wouldn't cut well enough to make what he planned to do a clean procedure. He wished he had his blades, since they were specifically designed for-

For something he didn't want to think about until he absolutely needed to do it. The opportunity would present himself, and he'd take it. He had to do it. Had to, had to, had to.

Armin scrubbed the tears furiously from his eyes, and started looking for a whetstone. 

Reiner came back in a little under an hour, swinging two dead rabbits by their hind feet (Armin took a moment to appreciate the irony of the supposedly lucky foot deal) and grinning ear to ear. "I swear, they were trying to see who would get into my snare first," he chuckled, setting the kills down on the table to be skinned and cooked. "I got the second one while the first was still realizing he'd been trapped- they're everywhere, Armin. If people lived out here, they'd eat like kings."

"Rabbits don't have enough nutritional value to keep someone alive," Armin said, though he was still somewhat pleased by knowing that it would be something to chew on and satisfy the baby with. "They're too lean. You can eat and eat and eat, but sooner or later, you'll starve to death."

"Sasha tell you that?"

"She might have."

"... I'm sorry," Reiner said, "about her. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Apparently it happens." Armin didn't want to talk about this. He took a knife from the drawer, not the one currently hidden beneath the waist of his pants, and starting to look the rabbits over so he could take their pelts away from the meat. "I know you're sorry about Levi, too."

"I..." Reiner stopped, as if he wasn't quite sure how he was going to finish that sentence, and shook his head. He picked up the second rabbit, starting right away at peeling the skin back from the muscle so they could put it in a pot, boil it, and put something in their stomachs. Even if Armin was right about it not doing any good for nutrition, it would provide some kind of warmth and comfort. He was hoping other, more physical kinds would come later. 

Armin cleaned and gutted his rabbit, dropping the organs and the head into one bowl while the meat went into a pot. Blood stained his hands and part of the table, turning his thoughts back to the knife in the sink. Had that been rabbit blood? 

Reiner was saying something. "What else did Sasha teach you?"

"All kinds of things." And she really had, with all the time they'd spent together after Reiner was put in prison. He'd talked to her more than anyone else, except maybe Mikasa or Christa. Eren was always too busy trying to get Reiner to spill, and Jean was always chasing after Eren to make sure he didn't put himself through the bars to strangle the other shifter. "She taught me a few snares, which baits to use for certain fish, how to butcher small game, how to tell which berries are safe and which are deadly... She. Actually taught me quite a bit." He swallowed a hard lump in his throat, feeling grief cut into him in a white hot slash over his chest, and then shook his head clear of it.

"That'll be useful," the alpha hummed. "Anything else? Maybe about hunting?"

"Yes," Armin said, suddenly remembering. "She taught me how to put a knife through the spinal cord and the heart at the same time, for an instant kill."

Reiner tossed his rabbit's head into the bowl.

-

They ate slowly. Despite knowing better, Armin couldn't help but worry about how leisurely Reiner was being about everything- didn't he know the Survey Corps would come? Didn't he know he'd go straight to execution, with everything he'd told Armin? The alpha didn't seem concerned at all when the sun hung directly over their heads in a cold light, marking the middle of the day like thread binding in some of the thinner books he'd once read. When he was very very little, he used to pull the thread apart and marvel at the long pages, creased in the middle and bearing entirely different topics on either side, like he'd blinked for a second and missed hours of information. He wondered if that was how Reiner felt, like he was on one page for one moment and then in the next he was somewhere in the middle of a story, trying to piece together what had happened in the pages that were supposed to be between and rolling with it until the thread came loose once more.

He felt sorry for him. He felt so damn sorry for this man he loved, the father of his child, but there wasn't anything to be done anymore. If Reiner was this sick, someone would have to put him down.

After breakfast, Armin wandered around the kitchen, checking windows and looking for any sign of titan activity. He thought he'd felt the ground shake a few times, but they were soft tremors- apparently, the titans didn't know they were here, yet. He hoped it would stay that way until the Survey Corps came for him.

Reiner pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

"You just ate," Armin reminded him, still looking out of the window as Reiner continued to nip and nuzzle at him, just as affectionate as he'd been back in training. "Quite a lot, too. Don't you want a nap?"

"I'm not very tired," Reiner insisted, pulling Armin's shirt off his shoulder a little bit so he could get at more of his skin. His lips were burning hot, but they felt good because the rest of Armin was so cold. "You've got goosebumps. I want to warm you up."

"Pervert," Armin muttered, slapping halfheartedly at Reiner's hand as it started to creep lower, going from Armin's hip to his ass. 

"Only for you. Listen- Armin, I love you."

"I know."

"But you don't- you don't know how much I love you. What I'd do for you."

"I've seen."

"Not everything."

Armin stiffened, and then turned himself slightly in Reiner's direction. "What do you mean?"

The alpha smiled, trying to be reassuring, but Armin noticed how it twitched and pulled at the corners of his mouth. He was hiding something, biting the secret, and Armin needed to know if it would throw a wrench in his plans. "It's not- it's not bad, Armin. I don't think it is. Baby, I love you."

"What did you do, Reiner?" Armin whispered, though his voice was still urgent.

"I found something. It's for you, if you'll have it."

And then he got down on one knee, and in his outstretched palm sat a ring. It was a simple gold band, without even a diamond in it, but it was real and at one time it had belonged to someone, and now Reiner wanted it to belong to him. Reiner wanted Armin to belong to him.

"Armin Arlert," the larger blond started, looking so sincere, like they weren't on the run and were instead in the middle of a dinner, surrounded by everyone they loved. "I know this isn't the best time, or the best place. I want to take you to a better place and give you better times- for the rest of your life. For the rest of our lives put together. If you'll... will you marry me?"

Armin was very, very quiet. He gaped at Reiner, taken aback and also heartbroken, heartbroken because there would be no wedding and even if he said yes now it wouldn't matter tomorrow. They might all be dead tomorrow- Reiner, himself, and the baby, the entire clan taken out because of the actions of one mentally ill warrior. He couldn't enter this family while it was condemned, and he couldn't say yes while everything was screaming no.

Instead, he said: "Reiner."

Reiner looked at him, the hope of whatever was left in the world in his eyes.

"Reiner, please don't move."

And then Armin brought the knife down on Reiner's neck, and started to carve.

-

Eren found him when it was dark. They found him because of the fire, the living beast that consumed their hideaway shack and spat smoke into the air, leading the Survey Corps to it like moths to light. Eren was off his horse as soon as he saw the golden gleam of Armin's hair in front of the flames, its twin shining next to the little omega as he began to cry in relief, standing up on wobbly feet to meet his friend in an embrace. Eren held him as tight as he dared and rubbed his back, nosing against Armin's neck and breathing him in, safe and warm and reeking of-

Reeking of blood.

Eren looked, and saw that Armin had been sitting next to Reiner's severed head.

"I had to save something from the fire," Armin whispered, horrified, into Eren's ear. "Or else they wouldn't believe I'd killed him."

The knife was still in his hands. Mikasa had to wrestle it from the blond, probably hurting his fingers in the process, but she threw it away and gathered Armin up into her arms like he was her own lost child. Jean came running next, kissing Armin's hair while Christa and Connie came to join in on the embrace, eventually followed by Hanji, who told him that Levi would have been proud before going to collect Reiner's head.

Armin was surprised when Erwin took off his own cape, pulling it around the smaller blond's shoulders like a safety blanket before leading him away, toward a cart they'd brought with them in case they found Armin alive. He sat with Armin on the way home, holding him against his side while Hanji led the way, and for the first time in a long time Armin remembered what it was like to have a parent.

They left Reiner's body to burn. His head was the only thing spared of him, as well as the blood that had spilled over Armin's front and hands from the slicing, the hacking, and the sawing. He wouldn't tell anyone all of the details, nor how long it had taken to successfully remove the head.

He just said that Reiner had held perfectly still the entire time.

 

 

 


	7. Epilogue

He stood at 6'1", broad-shouldered and confident. At sixteen years old, he had yet to truly know the dangers of what lay in wait for him after training camp, but he craved the wide blue skies and endless horizons his father told him about between missions, promising that he would see the world as it was meant to be seen. His legs were spread, the right foot placed firmly and perfectly in balance despite the removal of his pinkie toe- a necessary procedure done when he was only a newborn, performed in a desperate attempt to save his life. His eyes were dark gold, crinkled at the corners with his handsome grin and framed with darker lashes, though his hair was as sun-kissed as his bronze skin and fell in lazy curls around his face, except for where it had been cut short in the back. He'd tried letting it grow down to his chin not that many years ago, but the cut looked wrong in contrast with his muscled alpha body, so he'd allowed a fellow trainee to take care of it after lights out. It hadn't been a huge favour- all of these freshly graduated soldiers liked him, looked up to him, and envied the strength in his powerful form as he dominated every hand to hand match without contest.

Reagan Levi Arlert, after all, was nothing if not his father's child.

"Reagan," a girl called out to him, one of the strongest of the new troops despite her omegan status. She had narrowed, calculating eyes, but a friendly smile. During his visits, Armin would often remark that she looked like Ymir with a good attitude, if such a thing were possible. "I guess you'll be running back to your father now, huh?"

"If the Corps will take me," he answered smoothly, rolling his shoulders back with a chuckle and a swift crack of his neck. Of course they'd take him. He'd graduated third in his class, and at least one side of his family had a favourable reputation with the Scouting Legion. Over the past few years, recruitment for the Survey Corps had gone up nearly 200% in response to the string of victories seen of late, and the advancements made to ensure that soldiers were more properly trained depending on where they hoped to end up after graduation. Certain formations had ensured a much lower death toll during missions, and the newly appointed commander walked with a confidence that was easy to fall into- a natural born leader.

Some day, Reagan wanted in that spot. If they didn't defeat the titans by the time he'd moved through the ranks, he'd bring humanity to victory. It was the least he could do, after everything Reiner Braun had done to destroy it.

"I don't know," the girl- Nelda, her name was Nelda- continued. "I think your ego might cause some problems with lodging management. They'll have to make you sleep in the trees."

"I've had worse! After those bunks back there-"

She laughed, belly-deep and uplifting to hear. "Don't you even start! You slept like a rock half the time, I've heard. And I've also heard about you getting pretty comfortable in those bunks with Acton, last winter."

"Sharing body heat," Reagan said, winking. "He looked pretty cold, poor thing. I'm like a furnace. Wanna feel?"

Nelda shook her head, waving him down with more of that soul-filling laughter. "You're too much for me to handle, Arlert. Besides, we don't need either of us pulling something right after graduation. You've got a reputation about being rough, y'know."

"I don't hold back."

"Don't hold back in what?"

Someone small and blond was at Reagan's side, and the change it brought in the young alpha was nigh instantaneous. In one moment, he'd been lithe and ready to pounce, like a tom cat circling a potential mate, but here he was once more a kitten, mewling out an excited "Dad!" before scooping up his tiny doll of a father, holding him tight. Armin was used to this kind of reaction, smiling as he kissed his son's forehead, easily carried and held by the younger male. "I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Jean has to give his speech," Armin explained, taking Reagan's face in his hands and giving him a glance-over. The two of them looked almost nothing alike, sharing only the same hair colour, the same thick eyebrows, and that bright spark of intelligence in their eyes. Armin was now 32, and if he hadn't started letting his hair grow longer after Reagan had grown out of the habit of pulling on it as a toddler, he probably could have passed for 16 again. He had a few lines around his mouth, a tiny crease between his eyebrows, and a thin scar through his left eyebrow from a maneuver gear accident back when he'd been preparing to re-enter the field when Reagan was old enough. "What are you not holding back?"

"Nothing, Dad. I loooooove you," Reagan crooned back at him, pressing a loud, wet smooch to his father's cheek, despite the smaller man's half-hearted protests. He was smiling, and that was all that mattered to Reagan.

The young alpha absolutely adored his father, having clung to his hip from birth until the summer after his 8th birthday, and would stop at nothing to make sure everyone knew it. The flirtatious, cocky personality that he wore in front of his peers retracted to make way for the doting son, though it wasn't a full on split. The two were one and the same, without any sign of the same dissociation disorder that had plagued Reiner from a young age. He'd had his share of bullying as a child, almost always pinned as an outcast when he was young because of his lineage, but Armin had quickly put an end to it when Reagan finally told him. The omega had gone tearing into anyone that dared insinuate that Reiner's crimes would transfer on to their child, snarling and baring his teeth while keeping the then shorter Reagan behind him, and could only be stopped by Mikasa and Eren's interference. Even then, Armin had said horrible things, threatened impossible punishments- no one dared to get on his bad side, after that confrontation. Not when it came to his baby.

Still, at home, Armin had held Reagan to him and wept. 

"How's Eren?" Reagan wondered, stepping out of the past to change the topic in his present. "Still angry?"

"Always," Armin smirked, neatening Reagan's bangs out of habit. The boy let him get on with it, always tolerant when it came to his father. "I'm surprised you asked. Are you finally going to get along with him?"

"Never." Goodness knew that Eren tried to be the best stepfather he could be, but while bearing scars from his own father's influence, and having loathed Reiner so- things were tense. Reagan certainly didn't help, feeling hostile whenever anyone got near Armin. The two were locked in an alpha's rivalry, only making way for each other when it was in Armin's best interest. "Is he here?"

Armin jerked his head toward a knot of tan-coloured jackets. Eren stood at Jean's side, easily found by that long scruffy hair and signature scowl. Mikasa was with him, still wearing her red scarf and flocked by eager young troops hoping to get a word of advice from Humanity's Strongest, though she seemed a little more concerned with something Erwin was saying. The former commander had a hand on Jean's shoulder, speaking low to his past subordinates. Armin was struck again by his strange resemblance to Reagan- he blamed the high cheekbones, the broad build, and of course the eyebrows. He was just thankful that Reagan didn't look like Reiner. "He had a few scouts asking him to shift, earlier. You can imagine the expression he had."

Reagan furrowed his eyebrows in an imitation of said expression, making Armin burst into laughter that carried over the graduates and the visiting soldiers. He'd laughed a lot over the past sixteen years, and smiled, and danced and sung. He called Reagan his 'little Ray of sunshine', which was typically followed by a boop or a kiss to his son's nose. It was well that his child brought him such happiness, considering the trauma of the birth (violent and painful, Armin could only remember red flashes in his eyes and a pain that felt like being torn apart) and the following trauma of keeping the Military Police at bay, which only ended when he himself had cut off his baby's little toe, proving that he hadn't inherited Reiner's shifting abilities when it didn't grow back. For such a small soldier, he was a strong one, and Reagan spent every day of his life looking up to him.

Armin wiggled to be let down, taking his son's hand once his boots hit the earth. He led Reagan to where his fellow soldiers were waiting, his ponytail swinging in the new summer's breeze while the sun pounded hot and bright overhead.

The skies were clear, here. The walls had not been breached for over sixteen years.

In three more weeks, humanity would remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so a few things i wanted to say here are thank you all for the views (2000+???? thats insane!!) and the lovely lovely comments you will never know how important feedback is to me
> 
> if you have anything you want to share like your reaction to something or request for a drabble in this universe (i will be writing a few while working on the sequel) please feel free to contact me on tumblr- my username is armin-subvert
> 
> finally thank you monoceroy and madi for being my cheerleaders through this wild and painful journey i really could not have gone far without either of you  
> i am sorry but also very not sorry for all the hell i put you through


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